


Left Behind

by madamehomesecretary



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Keeping A Secret, Second Chances, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-10-04 02:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20463707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamehomesecretary/pseuds/madamehomesecretary
Summary: First impressions were going to be important, especially this one in particular. To be fair, maybe ‘first impression’ was the wrong choice of words. It couldn’t be considered a first impression if you’d already met someone before, right?David and Julia are keeping a secret. Can their past stay in the past?





	1. A Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got the idea for this AU while listening to the song Extraordinary by Idina Menzel and thought it would be fun to explore a secret past between David and Julia. (I actually made a video, so i’m going to lamely plug it here. Consider it a trailer of sorts: https://youtu.be/d_28aVMKcwM) 
> 
> What if they knew each other when they were different people? Before life and politics and war changed them? 
> 
> The first couple of chapters will stick to a lot of what we saw on the show with some extra context and underlying sexual tension. But it will stray from canon at some point. Flashbacks are in italics! The rest is present tense. 
> 
> I hope you like it!

Sergeant David Budd stood at attention outside the Home Office, taking in the appearance of the people in suits coming and going through the plaza. His stomach felt tense, and he willed himself to remain calm. It was _ just _ a job. Guarding the Home Secretary was just like guarding the foreign dignitaries he had worked for the past. Except...

“That’s the principal now, Skipper, in the first car,” Kim Knowles told him, leaning over as a black ministerial car entered the square, followed by another security vehicle. “The backup’s behind.”

“Her driver’s Terry and the PPO’s PC Tom Fenton.”

_ Terry, driver. Tom, security. _ David made a note of the names in his head. First impressions were going to be important, especially this one in particular. He was grateful to know Kim already, and to have her ‘on his side,’ so to speak. 

To be fair, maybe ‘first impression’ was the wrong choice of words. It couldn’t be considered a first impression if you’d already met someone before, right?  
  


_ Sitting at the bar in a nondescript pub outside of London, he eyed the patrons entering the dimly lit room. The way they looked around for someone they were meeting, or the way they bellied up to the bar just like him, clearly alone.  _

_ Running a hand through his mop of messy brown curls, he took another swig from the bottle in front of him. He looked at the clock on the wall and resumed his people watching. He must look pretty pathetic drinking alone.  _

_ His eyes scanned the bar for anyone who looked equally as bored and lonely as he did, and his eyes settled on a woman across the way. She was making notes in a journal as she sipped at a glass of wine, and David couldn’t help but think how out of place she looked among the loud music and rowdy patrons of the bar. He took in the way her fingers toyed with the end of a long brown curl and how she chewed her bottom lip in thought as she worked.  _  
  


As the cars came to a stop outside the Home Office, Kim moved forward with David close behind. He thought his palms might be sweating and brushed them against the fabric of his dress pants discreetly. His hand balled into a fist subconsciously, feeling the tension spread through his body as he followed Kim. 

He hated to admit it, but he actually felt nervous, a trait that David wasn’t used to feeling. At least not anymore. Ten years overseas would do that to you, he guessed. Fighting a war had ways of changing people.

As they approached the car, the Home Secretary’s PPO --  _ Tom Fenton,  _ David reminded himself -- got out. Kim opened the door as David stood behind her, waiting to be acknowledged. His heart was beating faster now and he swallowed hard, willing himself to focus. His training as a soldier would come in handy for this job. If he kept it. 

It would be easy for her to ask for a new PPO after she saw him. Or maybe he should pre-emptively ask to be reassigned. Surely, she wouldn’t be happy to see him. And she had the element of surprise working against her. At least he knew -- He shook his head to clear the fog, bringing himself back to the square. David knew he was getting ahead of himself. She might not even remember him. It had been a long time since that summer.

“Ma’am.”

“Kim.”

David heard her voice and his ice blue eyes cut quickly to the car door where Home Secretary Julia Montague was emerging. She hadn’t noticed him yet, and David straightened himself so he was standing at his full height, his shoulders drawn tight underneath the material of his well-defined suit. 

“Ma’am. This is P.S. Budd, the new PPO.”

Her eyes were on him then, and David shoved his hand forward politely. She took it, still holding it in her grasp as she balanced a bag and the red ministerial box in one hand. He couldn’t get a read on her reaction as he looked into her eyes. Time seemed to stop and David wondered if it seemed to anyone else observing them that she was holding his hand longer than necessary. 

“A pleasure to meet you ma’am,” he said quickly, his tone clipped. 

He hoped she would follow his lead. His eyes met hers and held her gaze, searching them briefly for any sort of recognition. 

“I was wondering if we could discuss you using the underground entrance from now on?” He continued on quickly, not giving her a chance to say something they might regret in front of Kim. It was better -- for everyone -- if no one knew they had a history. 

He thought he might have seen a brief flicker of something ...if only for a moment, but it was gone just as quickly. 

“I’m late for a meeting.” 

Her rebuff took David by surprise. And then she was gone. 

“Julia likes to be seen,” the young woman who had emerged from the car with her offered smugly. David already didn’t like her. 

As Terry pulled the car around, the security vehicle following closely behind, David watched them go, his mind racing. He replayed her reaction to him over in his head and found his brow furrowing. The Home Secretary had barely given him the time of day. No, this job wasn’t going to be easy, but then again he hadn’t expected it would be. And that was before he even found out who he was protecting. 

David Budd protecting the Right Honorable Home Secretary Julia Montague... Yeah, his buddies back in Helmand would get a laugh out of that. A Tory.  _ Julia _ , of all people… This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

And yet, as David entered the building, he found himself thinking about the spark he had felt when her hand touched his. The sensation had been familiar, but one that he hadn’t expected. A disaster, indeed.   
  


_ David looked away, not wanting to stare, but found his gaze returning to her, no matter where else he looked. After a few minutes, she closed the notepad, clearly done with work for the night as she sipped her wine. _

_ Her eyes met his briefly as she looked up from across the bar, smiling against the rim of the glass of red wine. His gaze automatically went to her left hand, looking for a ring. There wasn’t one.  _

_ David hesitated only for a moment, getting to his feet and walking over to her. What the hell did he have to lose anyway? The worst she could do would be to turn him down. _

_ Her eyes followed him as he approached her, and he reached out, touching the bar stool next to her.  _

_ “Is this seat taken?” he asked, his brogue Scottish accent enhanced by the alcohol he had been nursing for the last hour or so. He was thankful for the extra bravado the alcohol seemed to be providing.  _

_ The woman’s eyebrow arched in silent response before she spoke.  _

_ “I believe it is now,” she said with a small smile and David couldn’t refrain from smiling as he sat down. His hand brushed hers briefly as he scooted into the seat and she watched as he pulled it away quickly.  _

_ It had only been for a moment, but Julia had definitely felt something there when his skin came into contact with hers. She downed a long gulp of her wine as he settled in next to her.  _  
  


As Julia walked toward the lift, flanked by Kim and Chanel, she felt like her world had been tilted on its axis. She could already feel herself becoming more cross than usual. Something about the way David suggested she use the underground entrance had grated on her nerves instantly. Although, if she was being honest with herself, she knew it wasn’t the suggestion that had soured her mood for the day. 

Who the  _ hell  _ had approved David Budd for her protection team? How was she supposed to focus on  _ anything  _ with him standing in her office, watching her? And why wasn’t she notified of the change in staff before it happened? She made a note to call Lorraine Craddock later and give her an earful.  _ No, this wasn’t going to work. It couldn’t.  _

“What’s happening with Andrew Marr?” 

“I’ll chase them today.” 

“I thought it was all confirmed?” she asked, trying to cover the irritation in her voice. But with Chanel Dyson as her assistant, it didn’t last long.

“There’s a possibility that Number 10 want the slot,” the girl replied. Julia took a deep breath and resisted the urge to scream at her incompetence as she watched Kim press the button for the lift.

She glanced briefly over her shoulder, noticing David entering the Home Office behind them and softened slightly. His eyes met hers for a moment and she turned her attention back to Chanel quickly; the scowl on her face returning. 

“And when were you planning to tell me?” she finally asked crossly, as a ding signaled the elevator’s arrival. 

“I was waiting for the right moment,” Chanel offered, following her into the lift. 

“You didn’t find it,” she said dryly as the lift doors closed behind them. 

_ “It looks like you’re getting low over there,” he said, motioning to her wine glass. He had to speak loudly over the noise of the bar to be heard as he leaned in closer to her. She reached for it and downed the final sip with a smirk.  _

_ “It would appear I am…” she agreed.  _

_ Julia almost spoke up to stop him from ordering another round. She’d already had two glasses and without dinner, the wine seemed to be going straight to her head. But as she looked over at David, she couldn’t help analyzing him.  _

_ He looked young. Too young for her, probably. But he was handsome. And he carried himself with an air of maturity she hadn’t seen in most men. She knew she should walk away -- get up and leave the bar, and this man, behind -- but she found herself not wanting to.  _

_ David’s eyes met hers as they waited and  _ _heresisted the urge to touch her face._ _ He had only just met her, but there was something intriguing about the woman in front of him. She seemed powerful, like she could make the whole room stop just by entering it. He found himself smiling at her, his stomach seizing momentarily when she returned the gesture. _

_ David turned to the bartender, holding up his hand to catch his attention.  _

_ “Another pint, and a refill on this glass of red for the lady,” he said and the bartender nodded, his eyes curiously flitting briefly between the two.  _

_ “Coming right up,” he said, turning away from the couple who were obviously lost in each other. _  
  


It had been a long day by the time Julia was ready to go home. Luckily, her agenda had quickly been filled with back-to-back meetings, a public appearance and a teleconference with a very stubborn foreign dignitary. She was grateful for the distraction, as every time she had looked up from her work, she found David staring back at her. 

She would quickly look away, her eyes returning to her work in earnest as she fought the urge to meet his gaze again. Since when did personal protection officers look like  _ that _ anyway? It was wholly unfair, honestly.

‘Pull yourself together, Julia,’ she thought to herself.

Now, as they approached her flat, she was finding herself irritated at David for the umpteenth time that day. They’d already had a row about the best way to take from the office, with him instructing her driver to take a new -- and much slower --- route. The nerve of this man. Did he truly think he could just waltz back into her life and turn everything upside down again? As she looked down at the papers in her lap, she couldn’t even focus on the documents in front of her. She and David were going to have to set some ground rules for this arrangement.

David entered the flat ahead of Julia, flipping on a light switch and asking her to remain by the door as he inspected her home. He was just entering the living room when he heard her phone ring and found himself pausing to listen. 

“I’ve just remembered I’ve got nothing in. Are you all right to pick up a takeaway?” he heard Julia ask, as his brow furrowed again. He was finding it hard to place his initial reaction to finding out the home secretary had a boyfriend. It seemed silly to not like the notion. No one had mentioned anything to him … and it wasn’t in her file. He had checked. He was sure that was all it was. He didn’t like that he hadn’t known. From a _security_ perspective, of course. 

He heard her behind him and turned to face her as he stopped outside of a closed door. The irritation written all over her face was hard to miss.

“May I ask what you’re doing?” Her tone was crisp and David looked at her questioningly, choosing to ignore the obvious annoyed tone in her words. 

“What’s behind this door?”

“My study,” she told him matter-of-factly, as she placed her belongings down and began to shed her coat and blazer. “Seriously, I’m expecting a colleague and I need you to fuck off. No offense.”

David resisted the urge to laugh at her ire. No, that wouldn’t go well for either of them. And to have to tell Vicky he’d gotten fired on his first day? Not ideal. 

“None taken,” he responded dryly. Just then, a picture on the desk caught his attention and he paused to look at it, casting a questioning look at Julia. 

“That was us plotting to build the Death Star,” she said. “How long is this going to take?”

Yes. The irritation had returned. David gave her a hint of smile, almost enjoying himself now. 

“Can’t say for certain, ma’am.”

“Just get on with it,” she huffed as she turned and left the room while David continued his  _ very _ thorough security check. No, he wasn’t taking any risks at letting something fall through the cracks. Not to mention, he might be enjoying seeing the personal side of Julia Montague and her home life. He caught himself before the thought could go any further. 

‘She’s your  **boss ** now, David. This is ridiculous. Be professional. Do the sweep and  **get out** . It’s clear she doesn’t want you here.’

Julia was looking over the report she had started earlier in the car when she heard David enter the room. Not looking up, she was determined to not let him distract her again. But as her eyes scanned over the report in front of her, she felt her mouth suddenly go dry. 

**... assistance was rendered by an off-duty police officer, Police Sergeant David Budd of the Royalty and Specialist Protection Branch of the Metropolitan Police Service...**

_ Shit. I’ve made a proper fool of myself.  _ She thought quickly about how she could rectify the situation, turning her attention to the man now standing next to her desk, ready and waiting for his next instruction. 

“The officer who prevented the First of October rail attack... That was  **you** ?” she asked, her voice softening for the first time since David had introduced himself like a stranger that morning. 

“Yes, ma’am.” She had once found herself thinking that David Budd was not a man of many words. She was finding it still to be true. 

“It’s been a long and trying day, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot,” she offered in explanation for her behavior, though she knew she certainly had more to apologize for than just her attitude. 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Getting to her feet, Julia found herself holding out her hand to him this time. The gesture imitating the one he had offered what seemed like a lifetime ago, but only just this morning. 

“All is forgiven?” she asked as he stared down at her hand before taking it in his own. 

“As you wish, ma’am,” he said politely, though still with no real emotion behind the words. This whole thing was still so surreal to him. He couldn’t believe they were here. Together again.

“No, really, I’ve been a total cow,” she offered with a small smirk, and David wondered if he was finally beginning to see the  _ human _ side of the Home Secretary. 

“All is forgiven,” he echoed back, his thumb stroking her palm absentmindedly, his eyes still on hers. 

_ When the bartender returned, sitting their drinks down in front of them, David turned to the brunette, raising his glass.  _

_ “Cheers, ma’am,” he offered and she wrinkled her nose in response.  _

_ “Christ. How old do you think I am?!” she asked, covering her face and beginning to giggle.  _

_ She was laughing now, a hand covering her mouth, and David laughed with her, noticing again how attractive she was. She had an air of no-nonsense about her. She was fully out of his league. And yet, she smiled flirtatiously at him as she turned and leaned in slightly, closer to him.  _

_ “Please, I’ve just turned 30. Don’t call me ma’am.”  _

_ He thought he might be blushing as he felt a heat suffuse his cheeks. _

_ “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just the way my Glaswegian grandmother raised me,” he quickly corrected. “Sorry.” _

_ She smiled in response, shaking her head as she took a sip of her wine, her lips turning upward against the glass.  _

_ “Not a problem,” she offered with a little shrug. “Just don’t let it happen again,” she teased. _

_ “Okay, so, not ma’am. Understood.” He said, smiling wider now. “What should I call you instead?”  _

_ She gave him a knowing smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she placed her glass down on the bar top.  _

_ “You can call me Julia,” she told him with a nod. “Julia Montague.” _

_ He grinned.  _

_ “Okay, Julia Montague, nice to meet you,” he said, offering his hand, glancing down as she took it in her own. His thumb stroked the skin above her thumb absentmindedly, his gaze meeting hers with a charming smile.  _

_ “I’m David Budd.” _

“David…” she began, her professional veneer beginning to crack. 

He looked at her in surprise at the way she said his name. It was softer. She sounded much less like the astute, polished woman he had been introduced to that morning. And much more like someone else. Someone named Julia he had met in a bar a lifetime ago.

“Julia?” It was almost a whisper. 

“Can we please talk about --” She was interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and she sighed, her eyes coming to meet his in a knowing look as she pulled her hand away. She felt like his touch had burned a mark on her skin as she looked down at where his thumb had been stroking her skin. 

“I’ll get the door,” he told her, turning and leaving the room before she could say anything else. He wasn’t sure where that conversation was getting ready to go, but he also was sure he wasn’t prepared for whatever she was about to say. 

“I can get it,” she offered, but he paid her no heed, as he opened the front door. He could hear Julia close behind him, but focused his attention on the man in front of him. The man holding a take away bag and a bottle of wine. His eyes narrowed the slightest bit as the mousy man introduced himself as Rob MacDonald, and Julia invited him in. 

“Perfect timing, I’m starving,” Julia said from somewhere behind him. “Come through. Sergeant Budd won’t be long.” 

_ Sergeant Budd. _ Ah, yes. The prim and proper Home Secretary was back. David wondered if he had heard a pointedness in her tone that hadn’t been there before. 

“Actually, I’m all done, ma’am,” he said quickly, wanting to extricate himself from this situation as soon as possible. 

“Thank you, Sergeant.” She called out from the living room where she had gone off with Rob. She hadn’t even given David a second glance. Surely that was his answer. 

“Have a good evening, ma’am.”

“You too.” 

With his hand still on the door, he couldn’t resist the urge to turn and watch her with Rob for a moment, observing their body language. Maybe he had been wrong about Rob and his relationship to Julia after all. The man moved to put his hand on her elbow and she subtly shrugged him off in response. David smirked.  _ Well played, Home Secretary.  _  
  
  


As David nursed his second beer in his dark and lonely flat, he found his thoughts returning to Julia. The more he thought of her, the more he realized what a dangerous game they were playing. 

There had to be some rule written in an ancient handbook buried in a closet somewhere about not being allowed to protect a principal you had a past with. A principal you had slept with. A principal you had fallen in love with almost 11 years ago. And yet...

There was an obvious attraction still there. At least, he felt it on his end. And based on her reaction to him tonight, the way she had softened toward him… it made it seem like it might be a mutual feeling. But he was still legally married. With children. And Julia was the Home Secretary now. 

He debated briefly about reporting to Craddock in the morning and asking to be reassigned. He could take the cowards way out. Disappear back into the system and never have to face her again. He could easily write it off as Julia being too difficult to work with. From the stories he’d heard in the department, he knew that wouldn’t surprise anyone. Not to mention their differing political views and how that played a part in their dynamic. It would be an easy excuse. But he didn’t want that coming back on her either. Not to mention what that would probably make her think of him. Again. 

He softened at the thought, his finger coming to trace the lip of the beer bottle in his hand. He was surprised to realize that he still very much cared what Julia Montague thought about him. Even after all of these years. 


	2. Better in His Shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m being forward, ma’am, but … my shirt looks better on you than it does on me,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving hers as blue met green. She could barely breathe.
> 
> For Ellen. Xo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all SO much for your kind words on the first chapter. This has been really fun to get into and i’m glad you guys have enjoyed it, as well. 
> 
> Chapter two still coincides with what we see on the show. But with a little added context and a few new parallels from the past. Again, flashbacks are in italics. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

It had been three days since David started his job as the Home Secretary’s new PPO. He and Julia had had very little time alone together, although whether that had been intentional on her part, he couldn’t be sure. He had toyed more than once with the idea of going to see Craddock and asking to be reassigned, but he felt he owed it to Julia to talk to her first. And they just hadn’t had the chance.

Instead, his days had been spent watching Julia. In her office. In meetings. As she made her way around the home office. So he watched, and he waited, trying to find the perfect time to approach her for a much-needed conversation. He knew it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation to have, after all, there was so much that needed to be said. But he still recognized the need for it regardless.

Julia had made it obvious that she recognized David. Not with words, but with her actions toward him. He would catch her looking at him and as their eyes met, she would casually look away. He would watch as she unconsciously lingered when she entered the same room, looking unsure of herself. A trait not many would have caught onto with Home Secretary Julia Montague. 

A part of him had wondered when he first got his assignment if she would remember him. After all, it had been more than a decade since they met in that bar on a rainy London night that summer. And the two of them had only spent a short time together before he was sent overseas to fight. If you would have told a much younger David Budd he would make it through the war only to return to London to work for the Tory Home Secretary, he would have laughed in your face. Then again, Julia had only been a criminal barrister when he met her. 

Her response to him was always polite but stoic as they moved through each other’s orbit every day, each keeping their respective distance. There were a few times it seemed like she wanted to say something, but always held her tongue. The fact that she wouldn’t be alone with him in a room, much to David’s disappointment, made it difficult for any sort of conversation to take place. 

Today was another busy day. Julia had a TV appearance with Andrew Marr, followed by a meeting with Stephen Hunter-Dunn -- who David hated -- and finishing up the morning at a charity luncheon with the Prime Minister. 

David stood by the door, surveying the scene around him. Julia was reviewing documents on the couch, purposefully avoiding his stare. And then there was Rob. Always right by her side. The pitiful lapdog who doted on Julia’s every move. If it wasn’t for the current situation, David might find the whole thing funny. But he couldn’t help but notice Julia’s annoyance every time she seemed to have to deal with the man. Rob either didn’t notice or, more likely, didn’t care. 

Just then a runner entered the green room, telling Julia he’d be back to get her in two minutes. She gave him an appreciative smile, uttering a quick thank you, and watching him as he exited the room. Her gaze naturally fell to David as the man disappeared around the corner, and she looked away quickly when his gaze met hers.

And then the whirlwind of Chanel Dyson entered the studio. Balancing a bag in her hands and two coffees, she approached Julia quickly, who turned to face her. She collided into Chanel and the cup of coffee she was holding proceeded to spill all over Julia.

David grimaced, seeing the whole thing in slow motion but feeling powerless to stop it. 

“Christ!” Julia cried out, jumping at the feel of the hot liquid on her skin. Looking down at her shirt as she pulled it away from her body, she paled. There was a large coffee stain right on the front of it, with no hope of concealing it. 

As Chanel began to apologize, Julia’s eyes met David’s from across the room and he could see the panic in them. He frowned, instantly debating what to do. Chanel and Rob were bickering as David stepped forward quickly, his decision already made. He knew it was one that probably crossed a few boundary lines, but at this point, he didn’t care. He seemed to be the only one in the room still focused on Julia.

“Can we dry it out?” Rob asked and Julia stared at him, her ire evident. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said shortly. “There’s no time!”

Undoing his tie, David pulled the striped silk quickly from around his neck as he reached for his earpiece, pulling it out. In one fluid motion, he had shrugged off his jacket and began to unbutton the sleeves on the clean white shirt he was wearing. 

“Fresh on this morning, ma’am,” he told Julia, noting the stunned look on her face. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Rob barked with an amused laugh, growing serious as he looked at David in disbelief.

David wasn’t laughing. 

“My shirts are altered to fit over my ballistic vest…” He told him matter-of-factly, then turned his attention back to Julia. “The chest-to-waist ratio should be compatible.” 

His eyes widened slightly and David looked away, avoiding Julia’s gaze, feeling the tell-tale flush of his cheeks. ‘Chest-to-waist ratio?’ Had he actually said that out loud? 

Julia was watching him as he reached for the buttons on his shirt before she suddenly broke from her stunned reverie.

“Well, don’t all stand around gawping,” she snapped. She turned to Chanel, her venom apparent. “And you, fuck off and organize Sergeant Budd a new shirt.” 

Julia could have sworn she felt the energy in the room change as David shed his shirt and her eyes fell to his muscular arms, watching the way they moved as he shifted. There was a scorpion tattoo on his arm that he didn’t have a decade ago, and she assumed it was a symbol of camaraderie between him and his Army buddies. As she unabashedly took in his appearance for the first time, she made note of how much he had matured in their time apart. As he finally looked at her, she thought she might have blushed as they stared at one another for a moment. Yes, the air in the studio certainly felt charged to Julia. Reaching out, David offered her his shirt without hesitation.

Running a hand through her hair nervously before taking the button down from his grasp, she suddenly felt out of her element with him this to close her in the room.

“You’ll have to tuck it under your jacket, ma’am,” David told her. 

“Thank you,” she said softly, turning away from him. She turned to see Rob still standing there, obviously watching the two of them, and her irritation flared up again. “Some privacy?” She said in frustration, unsure why she even had to ask. 

“Yeah, of course,” Rob stuttered. “Yeah.” With that, he turned and left the room, leaving David and Julia finally alone.

The green room was eerily quiet after Rob left, and Julia was thankful for the moment she got to have alone with her thoughts. She wanted to say something to David. To break the heightened silence between them, but he already had his back to her, giving her the privacy she had requested, as he slipped his suit jacket back on and put his earpiece back in place. Pulling her shirt over her head as she turned away, she wondered if David was watching her. She felt her breathing quicken at the idea and cast a furtive glance over her shoulder at him. She was almost disappointed he wasn’t.

Disappointed, but not surprised, of course. David had been nothing but professional since being hired. She knew it was for the better, but there was a part of her that wondered if there was still a spark between them. She certainly still felt something there. But that wasn’t appropriate. David was her personal protection officer. She was his boss. That was all they could be. Taking a deep breath, she put her arms into the shirt and wrapped it around herself, relishing in the fact it was still warm from his body. She took in his scent and closed her eyes for a moment to collect herself. 

Opening them again, she glanced over her shoulder one more time as she began to button his shirt. David was right. It was the perfect fit. Julia was startled by the sense of deja vu that hit her as she made quick work of fastening the little white buttons. 

_ The two of them were tangled together under a gray sheet, their naked bodies intertwined as David pulled her into his chest as they both came down from their early morning high, breathing heavily. _

_ “Up for another round?” David whispered in her ear and she shivered as his lips came to rest on her neck, placing soft kisses in a trail down her shoulder. _

_ “Are you trying to kill me?” She asked with a giggle, a sensuous moan slipping from her lips as his mouth stalled on her neck, nibbling insistently in that spot he knew made her dissolve into a puddle. _

_ “David, no,” she said knowingly, her eyes narrowing. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table and sighed. “Don’t you do it,” she said warningly and he smirked in response. _

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Julia,” he whispered with a charming smile as his lips began to move down her arm, leaving open mouthed kisses on her skin. She groaned, covering her face with her hands. _

_ “I really have to get ready for work.” _

_ “I have the day off today… I’m covering a shift for Brian on Thursday at the station. Don’t go.” _

_ “What? No. I’m not skipping work. I need to be there.” _

_ “Come on, wouldn’t you rather spend the day here with me? Lounging in bed? Skiv off, Julia. Just this one time.” _

_ She glanced at the bedside clock again, chewing at her bottom lip pensively. David could tell he was wearing her down and grinned. _

_ Reaching down, he squeezed her hand in his. _

_ “We don’t even have to stay here. We could … go to the beach. It’s supposed to be hot today. Mersea Island isn’t that far.” His fingers were gently ghosting a slow path down her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. _

_ She couldn’t believe she was even considering the idea. She had never just skipped work before. Julia hesitated for another minute, before leaning over to place a chaste kiss on his lips. _

_ “Fine,” she whispered. “You win.” _

_ She sighed and shook her head, unable to stop the smile that was quickly spreading over her face as she pulled away from him. It seemed to mirror David’s expression almost perfectly. _

_ “Just this one time, David,” she added quickly. _

_ David nodded seriously. _

_ “Just this one time.” He held up his pinky. “I pinky promise ... that I won’t ask you to skiv again...” _

_ Another laugh bubbled from her lips as she reached for his pinky with hers, intertwining them tightly. _

_ She gave him a skeptical look, raising a brow. _

_ “...for at least a few months after this,” he added as they both began to laugh. _

_ She looked at him then, her eyes shining brightly. The Julia Montague before David Budd never would have skipped work. She wouldn’t have been able to bring herself to do it. But there was something about this man that made her want to embrace the unexpected, to step outside of her comfort zone and desert her routine, even if it was just for a day. _

_ “Let me call the office,” she said, finally extracting herself from his arms as she climbed from the bed. He watched her go with an appreciative glance as his eyes fell over her naked curves. God, he was a lucky man. _

_ It had been a month and a half since David had approached Julia in that bar. And ever since that first night, the two of them had become practically inseparable. David felt lighter when he was with Julia. Like he could take on anything in the world as long as she was by his side, though he had never told her that. That made this seem serious. And he thought it might be moving too quickly. They had a lot working against them, though they never spoke of it. Differing politics and life experience — growing up in two different worlds, an obvious age difference and different timelines for their lives. But deep down, despite all that, he knew he was falling hard for her. _

_ Reaching to the floor, she picked up the navy blue button-down David had been wearing the night before. She smirked as she remembered pushing it off of his body determinedly, watching where it had landed in a crumpled pile along with his trousers and undershirt on the floor. She turned to him as she slipped it on, pulling her long curls from beneath the collar. _

_ “Julia,” he said with a chuckle. “What are you doing with my shirt?” _

_ “Wearing it.... _ obviously _ ,” she said matter of factly, beginning to fasten the buttons one by one. _

_ “You can’t wear my --” _

_ “Watch it, Budd,” she said warningly, arching a brow as she continued to button the shirt, her eyes never leaving his. _

_ He sat leaning against the backboard watching her dress. Taking in the way the tail of the shirt hit her mid-thigh, barely covering her shapely ass and leaving her long legs exposed to him, he hummed his appreciation as she approached him. _

_ “See? It fits perfectly,” Julia said proudly as she finished, leaning over and pecking David on the lips. _

_ “That’s not fair. My shirt looks better on you than it does on me,” he whined and Julia couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips as she saw him begin to pout. _

_ She smirked, turning to leave the room, her phone in her hand, as he watched her go. _

“David… we really need to --” Julia began, the memory emboldening her. They had to talk about their past … and what that meant for their future.

Just then the runner entered the room again. 

“If you’ll follow me, Ms. Montague, Andrew is ready for you,” he said, motioning for her to accompany him. 

“Yes, I’ll be right there,” she told him with a forced smile. “Just give me a moment.” 

Pleasant. Polite. But with an air of authority that made David’s stomach do a little flip. The man looked like he wanted to protest, but quickly changed his mind. Moving out of the green room and waiting by the door, he glanced at his watch nervously. 

Julia made sure the door was closed before she began to speak, turning to face David.

“Well, how do I look?” she asked, holding her hands out for his appraisal. “Be honest. I need to know before I go on television.” 

She felt her heart hammering in her chest as he looked her over slowly. She was sure he was drawing out the process to torture her. After a minute, he gave her a nod. 

“Very smart, ma’am,” he offered. “If I may say so…” he hesitated and Julia looked at him, arching a brow. 

“Yes, Sargeant?” she asked softly, her voice only a little more than a whisper. 

“I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m being forward, ma’am, but … my shirt looks better on you than it does on me,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving hers as blue met green. Her eyes widened and she felt her breath catch in her throat when she realized they were sharing the same memory. She could barely breathe.

“Ma’am?” The show runner popped his head back into the studio interrupting the moment. 

“Yes, right, on my way,” she said, taking a step toward the door. Turning, she looked back at David for just a moment. 

“David, we need to talk. Tonight?” 

She didn’t give him a chance to respond before she rushed from the room for her interview, David watching her go, feeling both anxious and eager about their looming discussion.   
  


Their discussion didn’t happen that night. Instead, Rob had gone back to Julia’s flat with her to prep for another upcoming appearance. Julia’s numbers were down and Rob and Tahir were working desperately to make her more visible as the push for RIPA-18 continued, leaving the country split right down the middle with the outcome. 

Julia was quickly growing frustrated with Rob and his obvious attempts to woo her. No matter what she did, he always seemed to be right there beside her, standing just a little too close, touching her elbow in a way that very clearly crossed the boundary line between boss and employee. 

Boundary lines. Julia resisted the urge to laugh as her eyes met David’s in the rearview mirror of the ministerial car. She and David seemed to be toeing that same boundary line very closely. Though nothing unprofessional had happened between them, Julia couldn’t seem to get her former lover-turned-principal protection officer off her mind. Even when he wasn’t with her, she was plagued by memories of their short summer together. And when he was there, she always found herself staring at him for a moment too long as his gaze met hers, the corner of his lips pulling into a discreet smile. 

As they pulled into the courtyard of the Houses of Parliament, Julia audibly groaned when she saw Roger Penhaligon waiting, presumably for her, outside the entrance of the building. 

“Ma’am?” David asked uncertainly. “Are you alright?” 

Julia met his eyes again in the mirror and sighed. 

“I’ll be better once we get this over with,” she glanced out the window as the car came to a complete stop. Grasping her briefcase tightly in her hand, she tightened her grip, mentally steeling herself for whatever bullshit the Chief Whip was ready to spew at her this afternoon. 

David was opening her door and searching their surroundings, looking for what had obviously distressed her upon their arrival. Finally settling on a tall, graying man standing in a suit and waiting at the archway, David’s eyes narrowed. He knew that face. He had seen it numerous times while he had found himself researching Julia after his assignment to her security detail. 

“Mr. Penhaligon?” David murmured to Julia under his breath and she gave him a curt nod as she exited the car. 

“My charming ex-husband,” she supplied before realizing David probably already knew that. She felt her cheeks flush, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Before she could speak again, Rob was at her elbow, providing her with a new set of documents needed for the session ahead. 

“Mind if I steal your boss for a minute, Rob?” Roger sneered and David eyed him curiously. The air of condescension in his voice was apparent to everyone within listening distance. And just like that, Rob disappeared into the Palace of Westminster. Julia would have almost been relieved if it wasn’t for the present company that had replaced him. Every day was an argument with Roger -- it had been for years. Even when they were married. 

Julia let out a frustrated huff as Roger began to heap his thinly veiled, hostile accusations on her. 

“Interesting TV interview. You must be very proud,” he sneered. 

“I’d really like to get into the Chamber if that’s alright with you, Roger.” Her voice was strained and David’s eyes volleyed between the two, picking up on Julia’s discomfort and her strong dislike of the man in front of her. David could see why.

“Planning on hijacking the Counter Terror Debate for a bit more shameless self-promotion?”

“Is there a point to this conversation?” Julia snapped.

“Why aren’t you returning my calls?” 

David watched the conversation between the two of them, his anger at Roger barely concealed beneath his professional exterior. He saw the way Julia glared at her ex-husband and frowned at the way he seemed to be accosting her. 

“Pardon me, ma’am,” he said, speaking up for the first time since the exchange had started. “For security reasons, I’d prefer if you moved indoors.” Julia glanced back at him for a brief moment before turning her attention back to Roger, who now had his sights set on David.

“You work for us, Plod, so wind your neck in,” he said angrily before turning on Julia as he took a step closer to her. It took everything in David not to punch the man square in the face. Afterall, he could easily claim he was a security threat. 

“I’m the fucking Chief Whip and when I call you answer. We claim the centre ground but you’re heading off-piste.”

“The PM can count on my full support,” Julia said tersely. 

“Bullshit. He’s weakened. You’re making a move for the leadership.” 

“Sir, ma’am, I really do need you both to move inside,” David repeated dryly, clenching his jaw tightly. He really didn’t like the tone Roger was taking with Julia. 

Roger didn’t look away from Julia. “Can’t you call your monkey off? Throw him some nuts?”

That was it. David had enough. He wasn’t going to stand there any longer and let this man speak to Julia the way he was. While he knew without a doubt that Julia could stand up for herself, there was something that truly made him want to personally deliver Roger a good beating.

“I’m mixed race,” he said after a moment, not looking at Roger. He felt pleased with himself as Julia grinned wryly at him as they turned to head inside, where Rob rejoined them.

“Are you? Bi-racial?” Julia asked curiously. She had to admit she hated herself for not actually knowing if he was bluffing, though she had a feeling he was. 

“No, ma’am.” 

Her smile widened as she looked at him briefly, and she was sure she felt a moment of warmth pass between them. It passed quickly as Rob stepped up, discussing something in the folder he had handed Julia upon their arrival.

David fell back a few steps, watching the back of her head with a satisfied smile as they continued about their day as if the confrontation with Roger had never happened.   


Julia was in the kitchen, focused on getting herself a glass of wine when she saw him lingering out of the corner of her eye. She was surprised to find him still there. After his nightly security sweep and her returning his shirt after the Andrew Marr fiasco, she thought he might make a hasty exit. But she was relieved to see that he hadn’t.

“Want one?” she offered with a warm smile as she pulled a half-empty bottle of her favorite white wine from the fridge, her eyes meeting his. 

“On duty, ma’am.” He reminded her and she felt her cheeks blush. That hadn’t been very professional of her.

“Ah, yes. Soft drinks in the fridge,” she covered, giving herself a large pour as her eyes sought out his again. 

“Do you prefer David or Dave?” she asked before she could stop herself. It was a personal question, and she wasn’t sure why she had asked it. She had always known him as David. Never Dave. 

Her question didn’t seem to surprise him, but if the last three days were any indication, Julia would guess that this version of David was better at hiding things than the David she knew 10 years ago.

His wife called him Dave. But he wasn’t about to say that to Julia. Vicky’s face flashed in his mind, but disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. 

“I answer to both, ma’am,” he said instead. 

Looking for a safer topic of conversation, she brought up work as she brushed past him to enter the living room, her files already spread out on the kitchen table where she had deposited them during David’s thorough security check. She began to realize there was only so much she could tell him about the First of October attacker without breaking any sort of confidentiality. But still, she found herself taking a moment to look at him proudly. 

“Thanks to you, his wife’s alive to assist with our inquiries. It seems I’m constantly finding reasons to compliment you.” 

“Not quite constantly.” he said, unable to keep the teasing tone out of his voice. She smiled as a comfortable silence fell between them. 

“Your Mr. Penhaligon seems like quite the character,” David finally said carefully, realizing he was treading in dangerous territory. Julia scoffed. 

“Roger is not _my_ _anything_,” she was quick to correct, rolling her eyes. “He’s a bloody bastard, that’s what he is.”

“Were you together long?” David asked, quietly fishing for details. He already knew the answer, of course. He’d seen it when he was doing his initial research on Julia for the job. They had married in 2007, gracing the front page of every political rag in the country as the UK’s newest power couple. David had seen the covers himself when he googled their names. But he was curious what Julia had ever seen in the man that he had met earlier in the day. 

“Five years,” Julia answered, and David watched as her expression hardened. “It wasn’t always a terrible marriage,” she offered, more to herself than to David. “But we certainly didn’t stay happy for long. We started fighting two years in. Roger was frustrated I seemed to be on the rise in the political world. That wasn’t what he signed up for. I was supposed to be his perfect little trophy wife. We went to counseling; tried to save our marriage more than once.”

“I’m not really sure there was anything left to save to begin with. The divorce was finalized on what would have been our fifth wedding anniversary. Quite the scandal,” she said, her brows furrowing together as she looked down at her glass of wine. Realizing she was oversharing, she felt her stomach lurch nervously as her eyes locked on his. 

“Forgive me, David.” She softened. “I don’t know why I told you all of that.”

He gave her a reassuring smile, shaking his head. 

“You can tell me anything, Julia.”

The way he said her name caused her to look away from him again. It felt personal. And very intimate. Both things neither of them should be feeling right now. 

“Is there a Mrs. Budd?” She finally asked, willing herself to break the moment that was forming between them.

“Yes, ma’am. Vicky,” he forged ahead with the unspoken part of the question before Julia could ask. “We have two children.” 

Julia pushed down the pang of jealousy she felt unexpectedly rise in her stomach at this information. While she wasn’t surprised that David had married, there was a small part of her that had wondered. And he had children. 

“What are their names?” 

“Ella and Charlie.” Julia found herself wondering about the timeline. How old David’s children were. How long he had been married. It hardly seemed like a proper line of questioning, no matter how curious she was. Forcing herself not to think about it, she cleared her throat. 

“Your shifts must make home life difficult.” He hesitated, her eyes widening in embarrassment. Why did she keep putting her foot in it? 

“I’m sorry. That was private. I shouldn’t have.” 

“No, it’s... You’d know, ma’am, all these hours you work.” 

“Goes with the territory.”

“The life of a politician,” David finally said, chuckling sardonically. “You know … I never meant what I said … back then. I was so angry…” he offered by way of an apology. 

“After you left… I thought about what you said,” she told him, her voice lowering almost conspiratorially. There was a confession on the tip of her tongue, but she pushed it aside. Now was not the time or place. “I sought a role in which I could make a real difference then. And that landed me here.” 

David noticed that she seemed sincere and he believed her. Even when he had first met her, she had wanted to let people know that she cared. 

“That interview you did on telly, did you mean what you said?” David asked her, changing topics quickly. Her face fell and he desperately wished he could take it back. This wasn’t a conversation either of them were ready to have, and yet Julia wasn’t afraid to back down from a challenge. He had learned that quickly. 

“I’m sorry?” she asked, her face not masking her surprise or her distaste well. 

“About the Middle East.” Julia’s expression hardened again and David mentally prepared himself for whatever she was going to throw at him. He resolved not to get angry or lose his temper. That wouldn’t work out well for either of them. 

“I don’t say only what the people want to hear. I’m about doing the right thing and making the hard choices.” David was silent as he absorbed her words. She didn’t give him a chance to respond before she spoke again. This time her voice was challenging. “The thing is, David slash Dave, I don’t need you to vote for me, only to protect me.”

And just like that, David knew the conversation was over. Trying to cover his thinly veiled frustration toward her, he watched her for a moment, trying to gauge what she was thinking now. 

“Rest assured, ma’am. I’ll do what’s required.” A long look passed between them before David turned on his heel to leave the flat without saying anything else. 

He only made it exactly 17 very brisk steps from her apartment before he stopped himself in the hallway. He glanced back over his shoulder at her door and sighed. That hadn’t ended well. It’s like they were always doomed from the start. Taking a deep breath and clenching his jaw, he spoke into his radio, getting an affirmative from the back-up vehicle, telling them he was going to walk home and they could go on without him.

Pacing back and forth in a short motion at the top of the steps that lead down to the ground level, David weighed his options. He could leave and not look back, deciding to truly believe that this was who his Julia had become. _ Or _ he could go back and have a real conversation with her. They could find a real solution that worked for both of them. Get to the bottom of this tension and make it all go away. 

His brow raised as he flashed back to her wearing his shirt in the green room at Andrew Marr. Well, maybe not **all** the tension.

Taking a shuddering breath and trying to calm himself, David clenched his fist at his side as he turned, taking the same 17 steps he had walked only moments before. Hesitating outside of her door, he raised a fist and rapped on the door, his heart hammering in his chest. 


	3. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We … were both pretty terrible to each other, weren’t we?” David said with a heavy sigh, his head dropping forward at the memory. “Especially me. I was just so angry with you… the things I said... That’s not an excuse, I know…” he murmured as her hand met his, her fingers brushing against his skin. “You were right, I suppose. I had a lot of growing up to do,” he offered as she took his hand in her own. 
> 
> “We both did,” she replied quietly, squeezing his hand in a sign of peace offering. “So much has happened...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here it is. The fight you guys have all been wondering about. I hope I did it justice! 
> 
> It may get a little tricky this chapter as there is a flashback within a flashback, but I hope I've formatted it in a way that makes it easy to understand. 
> 
> Enjoy! And stay tuned. There's some good stuff coming up. ;)

“That was a disaster,” Julia murmured to herself as she poured herself another glass of wine, shaking her head ruefully. She should have known things were going to implode with David eventually. They always did. 

‘It’s probably for the best anyway,’ she thought as she returned to the living room where her files were still spread across the dining table. 

She had felt herself warming up to David again after their exchange at the TV station… and then he had stood up for her against Roger. Not that she had needed him to, of course, but it was nice to be reminded that there were still people in her corner. That it seemed  **he** was still in her corner after all these years. 

Or at least he had been. That is until talk of the war came up again. Looking back, it seemed fairly obvious that the thing that had driven them apart in the first place would come back to haunt them, especially considering the fact they kept glossing over their feelings. 

It had been a week since David had been assigned to her protection team, and while they both seemed to be skirting around the issue of their past, Julia knew they couldn’t manage for much longer. That was if he was even still serving as her PPO when she got up in the morning. It wouldn’t surprise her if he marched straight to Lorraine and asked to be reassigned. 

The thought of losing him again, even just in a professional capacity, made her stomach ache. Trying her best to push David from her mind, she turned her attention back to the stacks of files laid out before her, willing herself to focus. She had just succeeded in losing herself in the file in front of her when there was a knock at the door. 

Glancing at her watch, Julia was puzzled by the unexpected visitor. Security hadn’t let her know anyone was coming up. And Rob always called before he showed up. Grabbing her glass of wine and taking a long sip, she placed it down on the table before heading to the door. 

Looking out the peephole, she couldn’t help the flutter of butterflies in her stomach as David’s ice blue gaze stared back at her. Tousling her hair nervously, she cleared her throat before she opened the door again. 

“Sargeant?” she asked, unable to keep the hint of surprise out of her voice as she took in his appearance. He looked torn as he fidgeted with a button on his blazer. 

“Pardon me, ma’am… I hope I’m not interrupting you,” he finally said, meeting her eyes. “I just … thought we left things in a bad way.” His words had a professionality to them that Julia hadn’t expected. Stepping to the side, she motioned for him to enter the apartment again, unsure where this conversation was going to go.

“I see…” she said softly, closing the door behind him as he entered the flat. 

She took a deep breath as she turned to face him again, unsure what to say. Her eyes searched his face for answers when he was silent as well. 

“I stood in the hall for 10 minutes wondering if I should come back,” he admitted. “But in all my debating, I didn’t think about what I would actually say when I got here.”

His admission seemed sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck and Julia couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped from her lips. 

“I think we should probably start at the beginning, don’t you?” she suggested, motioning to the couch. David followed her gaze and nodded, crossing the room and sitting down. He found himself toying with the fringe of a decorative pillow, nervous energy coursing through him. 

Julia moved to the opposite end of the same couch, pulling her legs underneath her as she sat her glass of wine on the coffee table in front of her. 

The room was quiet when she spoke again. 

“How did this happen, David?” she finally asked, her eyes meeting his again. “I hadn’t seen or heard from you in 11 years … and now you’re the head of my protection team?” 

“I was given a promotion at work after the 1/10 attack… Chief Inspector Craddock, she was reviewing specialist protection on senior politicians … and thought I would make a good fit to protect the home secretary apparently.”

Julia watched as he continued to fiddle with the pillow during his explanation. She had noticed he couldn’t seem to be still anymore. 

“And you knew going into it… that was me?” She finally asked.

“Of course I did,” he replied quickly, his eyes taking in the details of her face he remembered so well. A decade hadn’t changed her much in terms of outward appearance. She was still just as beautiful as the day he had met her. There was a certain sense of power there he didn’t think she had carried before, but it made her seem important. Like she was someone you should notice. Then again, he had always noticed her. 

“I’m surprised you took the assignment,” Julia said carefully. “Considering our history, I mean.”

David stared at her for a long moment, his hands finally stilling. 

“I thought about it,” he told her honestly, realizing now was probably the time to be candid with her. To tell her the whole story. “But it didn’t seem like Craddock would take no for an answer… and probably more than that, I was curious about you, Julia.”

She didn’t attempt to cover the look of surprise that she was sure was showing plainly on her face. 

“You were?” She whispered, her breath catching in her throat. 

“Yeah. I heard you became Home Secretary while I was over in Helmand,” he said slowly. “Your picture was splashed across the front of every newspaper on the base… It was … difficult … for me to think about you. And about our time together. And how it all ended so abruptly. But there you were, right there in print staring back at me. Haunting me, it seemed.”

Julia said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

“When I came home, it was the same thing. It seemed like you were everywhere I looked. Making public appearances. Being quoted in news articles. I couldn’t escape the great Julia Montague.” 

He realized how bitter he sounded and softened, angling his body more toward hers and meeting her curious stare. 

“But all I could think about was the time we spent together before I deployed. All I could think about was you.”

Julia chewed at the inside of her cheek, mulling over his words in the silence of the room.

“I thought about you a lot after you left …,” she admitted honestly, metaphorically laying all her cards on the table. “I debated writing to you. But I figured maybe it was best to let the past remain in the past. We were from two different worlds, David… We still are.” 

“And now we’re both here, together again,” he said dryly, not able to keep a smile from tugging at the corner of his mouth. They were both silent for a long while, Julia reaching for her glass of wine and taking a long sip to buy herself more time. 

“Do you regret the way things ended? With us?” David finally asked, looking anywhere but at her and Julia let out a small noise of protest as she took another sip. 

“Does that really matter now?” she asked, her shoulders drooping. “You’re married... You have a family.”

“That isn’t what I asked.”

“You’re my PPO… I’m your principal.”

“Again, that’s not what I asked.” He let out a short laugh. “You’re just as stubborn now as you were then.” He turned so that his body was facing hers, his gaze studying her face closely. 

“Julia.” He said her name with a sigh on his lips. “Do you regret the way things ended with us?” He repeated. 

Her eyes met his shyly and she felt herself soften as she took in the earnest way he looked at her. The way he looked at her before everything was complicated and messy. It was the same way he looked at her the first time he had told her he loved her. 

“We both said things…” she stopped herself when David looked like he was about to interrupt. “Yes. I do,” she finally relented. “And now that you’re here … I wonder what it would be like if things had been different.”    
  


_ Julia didn’t hear David enter the room as she dressed, glancing at herself in the mirror and lost in her own thoughts.  _

_ “Hey, I called for you… Breakfast is ready,” he said softly, coming to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his head on her shoulder. Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on her cheek.  _

_ Turning in his arms, she rested her hands on the back of his head, running her fingers through his short unruly curls. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against his softly.  _

_ “Julia?” He asked, his voice faltering as they parted. “Is something wrong? You look like you’re a million miles away.”  _

_ She smiled wanly at him. “Fasten this for me?” she asked, quietly, handing him the simple gold chain he had gotten her for her birthday. Turning to face the mirror again, she watched as he hooked the clasp of the necklace, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her neck.  _

_ “I just have a lot going on at work,” she offered vaguely, meeting his still questioning gaze in the mirror. _

_ David frowned.  _

_ “Want to talk about it?” he asked, bringing his hands back to her waist. She leaned into him, closing her eyes.  _

_ ***** _

_ Things had been tense between them the last couple of weeks as David went back and forth about enlisting in the war. Their opposing political views usually led to an intense debate on the need for overseas operations and ended with both of them getting angry at the other for not seeing it their way. When David had come home last week to tell Julia he had enlisted, it had basically been World War III starting right there in David’s flat.  _

_ “I didn’t want to do it, Julia. I don’t agree with the war, and you know that. But I have an obligation to my country,” he had said with a heavy sigh as he entered the kitchen. _

_ “David, we’ve talked about this. You could get seriously hurt ... or worse over there…” she reminded him, not looking up as she cut vegetables for dinner, and David scoffed.  _

_ “Don’t you think I know that? That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Julia. Half of the men I train with will be coming home in body bags!” He had cried out angrily. “I thought you supported the war? Thought it would make the country safer? Or is that only if you’re not personally involved?” He asked, arching a brow.  _

_ “No, it’s just…” she trailed off, unsure how to explain all of the emotions she was feeling. _

_ “Typical Tory” he muttered. “As long as it impacts everyone else it’s fine, just not you.”  _

_ Julia’s fiery gaze met his, slamming the knife down on the cutting board, as she resisted the urge to smack him. _

_ “You know what? Fuck off, David,” she said lowly, her temper flaring, as she turned and stormed from the room angrily.  _

_ David rolled his eyes as he watched her go. How he had ended up falling for a Tory, he would never know.  _

_ They hadn’t spoken for almost two full days after that row.  _

_ ***** _

_ Now, as David watched her, he could tell there was something she wanted to say.  _

_ “Just tell me, Julia,” he said softly, still watching her reflection. Her eyes opened again.  _

_ “I’ve been talking to Ben at work,” she began. She chewed her bottom lip nervously, trying to figure out the best way to approach a topic she knew would cause another fight before they even started. “He… he thinks I’ve been doing really well on my cases, and … he thinks I should aim higher. He wants me to run for the Thames West Constituency in next year’s MP race.” _

_ She watched David’s face in the mirror, holding her breath for his reaction. She was quiet as she saw a myriad of emotions play across his face.  _

_ “Your boss… thinks you should become a member of parliament?” David asked incredulously, his eyes wide. “Julia… you’ve never expressed any interest in -- where is this coming from?” He asked, pulling away from her as he began to pace the room.  _

_ Julia leaned up against the wardrobe, watching him try to digest the information. No matter how many times she had played out this conversation in her head, she had known it was going to be explosive.  _

_ “This is a great opportunity, David. I became a barrister to help people,” she said calmly, fighting against the headache that was beginning to form in her left temple. “You know that … but maybe I could serve them better … represent them better … in a higher position.” _

_ Her statement came across as a question and David let out a groan. _

_ “In a higher position?” he repeated. “As a fucking politician?” The way he said the word made it seem dirty and Julia rolled her eyes in response.  _

_ “This is why I didn’t want to say anything,” she said, throwing her hands up in frustration as she finally lost the calm demeanor she had been trying to hang onto. “I knew this would be a battle with you. It always is!”  _

_ David was silent. And she was angry.  _

_ “If you just thought about it for a minute, it makes sense!” she responded, pushing herself away from the wardrobe and stepping closer to him. “If you would just grow up a little bit, I think you would realize why you’re overreacting here.” _

_ Her words were low and tense, and she regretted them as soon as she said them. In David’s eyes, she could see a mixture of hurt and anger that she wished she could take back. But she was stubborn, and she refused to back down from her position. Ironically, it was one of the things that made her such a good barrister.  _

_ “Grow up? You serious, Julia?” His eyes narrowed and Julia sighed. “Just because we don’t agree on politics doesn’t make me a child.”  _

_ “Christ. I never said you were a child. I didn’t mean it like that,” she was tripping over her words, but still refused to back down. “We have different life experiences... we see things differently. Maybe when you’re older…” _

_ David clenched his fist angrily at her words.  _

_ “No, it’s fine, really,” David said bitterly, putting hands up in mock surrender. “You go off and play politician for the little people. Be the hero to the feckless conservative party and see where it gets you. Meanwhile, I’ll just go off and fight in this war you know I don’t even support. Maybe I’ll get blown up in the process. It’ll all be great,” he huffed sarcastically. “All’s well that ends well, right?” _

_ At the mention of the war, Julia softened slightly. They had a week left until he left for training at a base in Helmand province in Afghanistan, his new home for the foreseeable future. Neither of them had been willing to talk about what that meant for them in the future. It was the very large elephant in the room.  _

_ “You know how I feel about you leaving,” she said, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill with the idea of anything happening to him.  _

_ “You don’t want  _ ** _me_ ** _ to leave, but you still want us to fight in this bloody war!” David said pointedly. “You know what? You’ll make a great politician, actually… with all the waffling back and forth you do.” _

_ Her eyes narrowed and she glared at him for a moment before finding her ability to speak.  _

_ “This is ridiculous,” she said angrily, reaching for her heels and slipping them on. “I’m so tired of fighting with you, David. I really am exhausted,” she said with a sigh, her shoulders sagging. _

_ She didn’t wait for a response as she strode into the kitchen, David hot on her heels. She whirled around to face him, pointing a finger at him angrily. “You know what? You don’t get to make this decision for me! This is my life and my career. If you won’t support me in it, that’s fine… but I think that’s probably our sign that it’s time to go our separate ways, don’t you?” _

_ David’s brow furrowed angrily in response.  _

_ “No one is forcing you to stay here, Julia,” he reminded her, watching as she tossed her things forcefully into her bag. “I think we both knew we were running on borrowed time anyway. This was never going to last.” _

_ If looks could kill, David Budd would be dead on his kitchen floor. She couldn’t believe this was really happening.  _

_ “Fuck you.” _

_ Tossing her bag over her shoulder, Julia stared at him, shaking her head in disbelief as a blank expression washed over her face. “Best of luck to you, David. I wish you every happiness…” she said dryly, staring at him for a moment before turning on her heel and leaving his flat. _

_ “Spoken like a true politician!” he called after her as he walked to the door, shutting it forcefully behind her as he balled his hand into a fist, hitting it hard against the wood. He couldn’t believe this was happening. The things they had said … that she left like that … All because he was so damn hot-headed. _

_ If he was honest with himself, it wasn’t just anger. There was fear there, too. A fear of going off to war and of losing everything he cared about. Now he had managed to accomplish the latter before ever leaving London. David contemplated going after her, but second-guessed the idea just long enough to make him hesitate. She had made it pretty clear she didn’t want anything to do with him. And he couldn’t blame her either. Glancing out the window, he watched as Julia disappeared into the drivers’ seat of her car. _

_ Julia had made it to her car before the tears started to flow as she sank into the seat, resting her head against the steering wheel. She felt so incredibly angry, and sad, too. But at the same time, there was a numbness there that surprised her. Just like that, three months of her life were over in the blink of an eye.  _

_ When she and David had first met, she had never thought they would last forever. There were so many elements working against them … but she had never expected to fall so hard for the young, handsome stranger who had approached her in a bar. She thought about going back inside, trying to sort things out and really talk them through with David. But her pride wouldn’t let her. They had both been so nasty to each other.  _

_ Turning on the car, she wiped at her eyes quickly.  _

_ “Pull yourself together, Julia. He’s just a man,” she murmured, rolling her eyes at her own little pep talk. She glanced at the clock on her dash and cursed under her breath. She was going to be late for work. _   
  


“We … were both pretty terrible to each other, weren’t we?” David said with a heavy sigh, his head dropping forward at the memory. “Especially me. I was just so angry with you… the things I said...” 

He looked up again, and moved so he was sitting closer to Julia, reaching for her hand. 

“That’s not an excuse, I know…” he murmured as her hand met his, her fingers brushing against his skin. “You were right, I suppose. I had a lot of growing up to do,” he offered as she took his hand in her own. 

“We both did,” she replied quietly, squeezing his hand in a sign of peace offering. “So much has happened...”

They were both quiet for a long moment, only the sound of a ticking clock on the wall counting the minutes between them. 

“Who would have guessed I was shagging the UK’s future Home Secretary back then?” he said after a minute with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. Julia’s jaw dropped in surprise at his boldness.

“David!” she cried out with a laugh, shoving him playfully with her free hand. “Do me a favor and don’t spread that around, okay?” she said with a smirk. “That would be quite the scandal, wouldn’t it? I can see the headlines now.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you picked me up in a bar and took me home to take advantage of me, ma’am,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and Julia gasped. She felt her cheeks flush a shade of pink with embarrassment.

“Don’t you dare! That’s not what happened and you know it!” she said as she burst into a fit of laughter. 

David looked between them at the hand he was still holding and looked back up at Julia, his laughter fading into seriousness as he stared at her. 

“I hope you know that my feelings for you were real, Julia,” he said quietly, examining the details of her face in the muted light of the dim living room. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

She couldn’t help but feel slightly deflated at the past tense of David’s statement. The more time she spent with David, the more she wondered about what could have been… especially when it was just the two of them together like this. 

She thought about telling him the truth about their fight. How she had been afraid of the feelings she had developed so quickly for him. How she had deflected and used his hot-headed temper as her way out. But what good would that do? He was married. He had a family. 

The past couldn’t matter anymore.

Julia was about to say something else, to try to find a way to change the subject, when David’s phone began to vibrate against the coffee table, making them both jump in surprise. Her eyes traveled to the screen, and then looked away quickly as the image of a blonde with two kids appeared. The name ‘Vicky’ was displayed in big letters across the top of the photo. It was as if she had been conjured by Julia’s thoughts in that very moment.

She cleared her throat, pulling her hand from David’s and reaching for her glass of wine, draining the remainder of the clear, crisp liquid as he picked up his phone off the table, muting the call. His eyes went to Julia and he frowned as he watched her completely avoid his gaze. 

Their moment was clearly broken. 

“You should probably get home,” she said as an awkward silence settled over the room. David nodded wordlessly, unsure why he still hadn’t told Julia that he and Vicky were separated. He hadn’t figured out if it was because he was still so determined to find his way back to his family or because he was worried about what might happen if he and Julia tried things again. So instead, he said nothing. 

Following Julia’s lead as she got to her feet, he followed her to the front door, pausing in the entryway. 

“Good night, ma’am,” he said softly, a small smile overtaking his features.

“I know we have to stay professional outside the walls of this building… but you can call me Julia here,” she said, her eyes meeting his. She found herself getting lost in the blue for the umpteenth time that night as he stared back at her. 

“Yes m--” he stopped himself. “Alright ... Julia.” It was a familiar sensation, but at the same time, it felt very strange. He reached for the door and then stopped, looking back at her. 

“I know you won’t believe me when I say this… but Tory or not, I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come in your career,” he admitted. She watched him for a moment, trying to decide if it was genuine statement, and smiled when she decided it was. She murmured a thank you under her breath, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the warm feeling that was taking over her body at his compliment.“But if you tell anyone I said that, I’ll deny it until my final breath,” he added quickly and Julia held a hand to her mouth to muffle the giggle that slipped from her lips. She felt the bubbles from the alcohol in her mostly empty stomach, and realized she had skipped dinner altogether. The wine had gone straight to her head.

“The Right Honorable Julia Montague,” he said shaking his head when she didn’t say anything in response. “If you would have told me 11 years ago … You didn’t even like politicians then.”

Julia reached around him for the door handle, opening it slowly and leaning against it. She felt emboldened, and she responded quickly, without hesitation.

“And you didn’t like blondes,” she said arching a brow as she teased him, the playfulness in her voice was apparent. David felt his cheeks go pink as he opened his mouth and then shut it again wordlessly, staring at her in disbelief. He thought he might actually be speechless.

“Good night, David,” she said with a knowing smirk that faded into a warm smile. 

“Good night, Julia,” he responded, reaching out and touching her face softly with his thumb before he left her flat.


	4. A Cuppa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know anything about your … relationship with … Vicky, wasn’t it?” She asked, uncertainly, and he gave a terse nod in response. “But if you want to talk about it?” 
> 
> It came out more of a question that a statement and Julia sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling as if she’d massively put her foot in it. 
> 
> “Of course, you don’t have to,” she added quickly. “I realize that may be strange for both of us, but I want you to know that you can always come to me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some flashbacks and filler to get us through to the next big thing. Still working on the show’s timeline as of late, so think the Heath Bank Incident, David’s Reassignments and the infamous cuppa. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Thank you SO much for your kind feedback. It really does motivate me to keep going. Xoxo.

“Shit.” 

The word was muttered under her breath, but still loud enough for Mike Travis to hear it. 

“You know the school?” he asked in surprise. 

“No.” 

‘Shit. Shit. Shit.’

Her eyes went to David who was standing watch at his post outside her office. He was speaking into his earpiece, but she assumed by his calm demeanor he didn’t know about the bombing or where it had taken place. 

‘I have to tell him,’ she thought to herself as she continued to stuff files into her briefcase and pulled on her jacket. ‘He has to hear it from me.’

Making an excuse to Mike, she moved from her office and into the hall toward David. 

As she came to stand next to him at the lift, she spoke quietly as they waited for it to arrive. 

“Have you heard yet?”

“Over the radio, ma’am.” 

“Deepest sympathies to those officers’ families,” she responded. She knew she was stalling as she chewed over the words carefully in her head. “Strictest confidence, but you’ve got a right to know … it happened near your children’s school,” she finally said, looking forward as David’s head whipped around to face her. 

“What?”

“None of the pupils were hurt, but you should call your wife and kids.”

Julia felt a pang in her stomach as the words echoed in her head and she chided herself for being so selfish at a time like this. All that really mattered was that David’s children were okay. She wouldn’t allow herself to think of any other alternatives. 

She could tell David was worried as he faced forward again, quiet for a long moment. 

“Thank you very much, ma’am,” he finally said as they stepped into the lift together, neither of them speaking during the descent. 

*****

There was a knock on her door, and Julia pulled her glasses off and rushed to open it, hoping to find David on the other side. She hadn’t heard from him since this morning at the office and she was beginning to grow worried. Instead, she was met with Kim, who gave her a forced smile. Julia tried not to let the disappointment clearly show on her face.

“Sorry to interrupt your evening, ma’am,” the blonde said looking around anywhere but at Julia. 

“Kim, you’re fine. Come in,” Julia stepped aside. “Please?” 

Kim looked apprehensive, but did as she was asked, shutting the door behind her and stepping into the entryway with her boss.

“I just wanted to let you know, I spoke to Skip -- to P.S. Budd,” she corrected herself, looking at Julia. “He’s been given desk duty, pending reassignment until they can figure this whole situation out.”

Julia felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs, but she tried to cover her reaction quickly. She wasn’t sure if she had been successful.

“I see,” she said tonelessly. “And his family?” 

Kim was thrown by the question. She had never known Julia to be particularly personal with her PPOs or to inquire about their families.

“I -- his children are fine, ma’am. He and his wife and the kids have been relocated to a safe house. Just to be sure.”

Julia gave a perfunctory nod, silent for a moment as she remembered David’s face when she had told him the news. She turned her attention back to Kim. 

“I see. Thank you, Kim.”

“Yes, ma’am. Tom and I will be splitting the duties of your team again until they send a replacement for your PPO,” she told her.  _ Replacement.  _ Julia paled. 

“Are you alright, ma’am?” Kim asked, reaching out to steady Julia. She didn’t look well. 

“Yes, Kim. I’m fine,” she said with a forced smile. “Just tired, I think. It’s been a long day.” 

Kim nodded. 

“Of course. I’ll let you get some rest. Let me know if you need anything,” she said before excusing herself and leaving the flat. 

Alone again, Julia looked around the room helplessly, unsure of what to do next. Had David re-entered her life only for them to be torn apart again? The irony of it all seemed to hurt more this time around. 

Reaching for her phone, she pulled up David’s contact information and shot him a text, hesitating slightly and rereading it twice before she pressed send. Placing her phone down on the couch, she poured herself a glass of white wine and disappeared into her bedroom to change into something more comfortable for the night. She had a case full of confidential files to get through.   
  


David had just tucked Ella and Charlie in for the night and had returned to his de facto bed on the sofa downstairs when he heard his phone beep. Pulling it out of his pocket, his heart began to beat a little faster when he saw he had a message from Lavender. 

_ I hope all is well at home. Glad your children are safe. - J _

Reading the message over three times, he couldn’t help but smile at the text, but then felt guilty for it. He huffed, looking up at the ceiling as he leaned back against the couch. He wondered if Vicky was upstairs on the phone with her boyfriend now and frowned at the thought. He had no reason to feel guilty, he told himself. 

_ Home doesn’t feel like home anymore…  _ he typed in response, staring at the words on the screen. He had never imagined how much things would change when he came home from the war. He had heard stories from so many of his Army pals about their home life being terrible. Some of them had ended up re-enlisting just to escape the demons that had greeted them at home on their return from combat. 

He had always scoffed, knowing that would never happen to him and to Vicky. And then the episodes had started. The nightmares that made him bolt up in bed with a cold sweat, the time he heard a car backfire and couldn’t seem to catch his breath as he fell to the ground in a panic, the night Vicky had suggested he started sleeping in the guest room. And he had to sit back and watch as it all began to crumble. He would lash out at the kids without meaning to, saying things he wished he could take back to Vicky, and he felt himself begin to fall apart. The scars that covered one side of his body were a physical reminder of his time in Helmand, but he battled with the emotions of combat every single day. And each day, he closed himself off more and more. 

He knew Vicky was doing what she thought she had to. To protect the kids and to protect herself. He couldn’t fault her for that. The night that he woke up from a dead sleep to find his hand squeezing her arm too tightly as she wrestled and struggled against him was the night he moved out. He wasn’t going to take the chance he could accidentally hurt them. It wasn’t worth the risk. 

He looked down at the blinking cursor at the end of his text message and groaned, deleting the words. No, he couldn’t go there. Not with Julia. 

Though he had only been on her security team for a week now, David couldn’t help but admit that his feelings for Julia were coming back more strongly than he had expected. After he had gotten his assignment from Craddock, he was sure he could push those old feelings down. He convinced himself he had to be over a relationship from more than a decade ago. Combine that with the fact that they had ended things on bad terms and that she was a big shot Tory politician now, he had assumed it would be easy to pretend they had no past at all. 

And he had known he was wrong the moment that he had laid his eyes on her again outside the Home Office. 

Now with the idea of his reassignment looming, he was torn. He and Julia had intentionally never let on that they knew each other to anyone else on her security team or otherwise. They couldn’t risk it getting back to Lorraine or Anne Sampson. He knew that alone would get him reassigned quicker than anything else, although now that he thought about it, he could see why. His objectivity around Julia did always seem to stay a bit … hazy. Especially now. 

He didn’t know what the past would have looked like if things had gone differently between them, of course. If he hadn’t enlisted, or if she would have waited for him … It still might have blown up between them.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. There was no use for thoughts like that now, was there? 

_ The kids are fine. Thank you for checking in. - D _

There. That seemed perfunctory enough. He pressed send. 

As he settled in, stuffing his phone under his pillow, he clenched his jaw tightly. He had to find a way to get back to Julia … as her PPO, of course… that was all. Wasn’t it?

A chime from her phone startled Julia, who had lost herself in another legal briefing as she poured over the files from her ministerial box. She felt her heart begin to beat a little faster as she saw David’s name come up on the screen. She hadn’t expected to get a reply from him.

Opening it, she read the text twice, trying to figure out his tone. But more than that, she stared at the single letter at the end of the text, and couldn’t help but smile. 

_ David’s phone buzzed with a text message as he waited for the train, tapping his foot restlessly against the platform. Pulling his phone from his pocket, a wide smile broke out on his face as he saw Julia’s name on his screen. He had just left her home in bed a couple of hours earlier as he had struggled to quietly get ready while she was still sleeping. Kissing her on the forehead, he had been out the door before she ever opened her eyes. _

_ Sorry I missed you this morning. Good luck today. You’ll be great. - J _

_ David smiled, despite the anxious feeling blooming in his chest.  _

_ J? Are we using codenames now? - D _

_ Julia stared down at her cell phone as she went over a case file on her desk. She couldn’t help but smirk at the reply.  _

_ Maybe. I kind of like it. It feels very secretive. Are you nervous about your interview?  _

_ David was thoughtful for a minute.  _

_ A bit.  _

_ You’ll be fine. It’s just an interview.  _

_ Before David could answer the first, a second text came through.  _

_ I’ll see you tonight, Police Constable Budd. Maybe we’ll have some celebrating to do. Sir. - J _

_ Don’t say it unless you mean it. See you tonight, love. - D _

*****

Julia stood with her arms crossed over her chest, looking out into the home office. Her eyes naturally fell where David would be standing if he were on duty and she frowned. 

She hadn’t meant to have an outburst during her staff meeting. And if the way Mike Travis approached her after they dismissed was any indication, she had raised quite a few eyebrows in the process. That wasn’t the collected and methodical Julia Montague everyone at the Home Office knew. 

She cursed herself under her breath for losing her cool as Mike’s words echoed in her head. 

“a bit heated in there… P.S. Budd’s removal is completely justified… a dangerous precedent.”

If only Mike really knew what was going on. With David, and with the security service, too… Julia was beginning to feel overwhelmed by it all. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep up the ruse. But she kept telling herself that the end justifies the means when it came to the security service. She would work with Stephen to take Vosler down, and get what she had finally been working toward for so long when she became Prime Minster. And then there was David...

It had been days since the almost-school bombing at Heath Bank and he had been reassigned to desk duty. Three days to be exact. Tom and Kim had taken over in his absence and though she knew they were both reliable members of her team, Julia was growing frustrated with the lack of movement at getting David back. 

They had intentionally kept their distance during their time apart, and if anything, it only solidified the idea that Julia wanted to keep David in her life. Even if it was only on a professional level.

Moving to her desk, she reached for the phone as she sat down, staring at her computer. She had to play her cards the right way if she wanted this to go well. Picking up the receiver, she dialed a number. 

“Yes, this is Julia Montague. I’d like to speak to Chief Superintendent Craddock.” She was met with a surprised silence on the other end of the phone as the secretary stammered something about CS Craddock being indisposed and Julia sighed. “Tell her I’m calling. I’ll hold.” 

*****

David and Julia stood in the lift together, neither of them speaking. Julia wanted to tell him how much she had missed him. How it hadn’t been the same without him. But she knew it wasn’t the time or place. 

David was experiencing many of the same feelings as they descended toward the ground floor. He was standing beside Julia, his fist clenched tight as he resisted the urge to take her in his arms and swear he wouldn’t let her go again. 

_ “Seems like you’ve made friends in high places,” Craddock had said when she told him he was being reinstated. _

David had taken that to mean that Julia had called in a favor to get him back into the Home Office. He couldn’t help but take that as an optimistic sign. If the way their eyes met across the office numerous times throughout the day meant anything… he felt his stomach do a small series of flip-flops. 

Three days without seeing her had seemed like a lifetime. And now that he was back, he felt the need to thank her. He wanted to know what she had said or done to get him reinstated, but he knew this wasn’t the place to ask. He opened his mouth to say something and realized he had waited too late as the bell signaled their arrival to their destination. As the doors of the lift parted, Kim greeted them both with a curt nod.

They walked to the waiting car together, Kim leading the way. 

As he opened the car door for her, Julia finally met his gaze. 

“Good to have you back, P.S. Budd,” she said. The words were simple and she offered him a sincere smile as she slid into the backseat. David found himself wishing they were going back to her flat so the two of them could be alone … to talk, of course. Instead, they were on to a business dinner. Talking would have to wait. 

“Thank you, ma’am,” he answered, the edges of his lips turning upward in a cautious smile as he closed the door.

*****

Had she really just asked him if he wanted to stay for a cuppa? Julia replayed the moment over again quickly in her head. Yes. She had. 

She wasn’t sure what had possessed her to think that was a good idea, but the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. How she had gone from telling him he should go and that she had work to do to waiting for his response with bated breath, she wasn’t sure. She would be properly mortified if he rejected her. 

“I should make it,” came his reply. She felt her shoulders lift slightly in relief and watched as the corners of his lips turned into a smirk. 

“Kettles, ma’am. They can be quite the danger in untrained hands.”

She watched as he left the room, before looking down at her hands that were fidgeting nervously with a file folder. 

Tonight had been a disaster. Dinner with Rob topping the list. He had some gall, to try to turn a work dinner into some sort of secret date. Julia had been fuming as they left the restaurant, leaving him gaping like a codfish in her wake. She had felt David’s eyes on her as they exited the restaurant and she realized with a sigh that she literally had no food in her flat. 

Debating on just having wine for dinner, she decided against the idea, asking David to stop at her favorite fish and chip shop on their way home. He looked surprised when she confessed it was a guilty pleasure of hers. The same look of surprise only magnified when she suggested he get something for himself as well. 

He was quick to protest, telling her he would eat at home after he had completed her security check. But she would hear nothing of it. After asking Terry if he wanted anything as well, she made David promise to get two plates, telling him they could eat dinner together when they got to her flat. 

David’s eyes narrowed slightly and then he smiled, which she returned warmly before looking away. She turned her attention to Terry to see if he had noticed the moment between the two of them. If he had, he didn’t say anything. 

So an hour later, here they were. Yes, the night had started out as a disaster, but now … Julia wasn’t sure what to consider it. The anxious feeling in the pit of her stomach told her it was a bad idea. But the way that David smiled at her… maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. 

As she heard David fumbling around in the kitchen, she chewed her lip, deep in thought. Tonight had been enlightening for a number of reasons, but most of all, the conversation about David’s disintegrating marriage. 

She had been shocked to hear him say it. She truly hadn’t known, and she was surprised it had taken him that long to tell her. But more than that, she felt sad for him. For the way he looked when he said it. Like he was admitting defeat in a battle. It was a feeling she knew well. At least when she and Roger had divorced, there hadn’t been children involved. It had just been the two of them, fighting tooth and nail until the very end. 

She hadn’t met David’s children yet, but she suspected that he was a terrific dad. He had always seemed like a giant kid himself, and the one time she had seen a picture of his family, you could tell they practically adored him. When he brought up Charlie’s new school placement, she had brushed it off as nothing more than a simple favor. Afterall, she hadn’t thought twice about putting in a call to a colleague at The Department of Education to get him in at Camberwell Park School. 

She would do anything for David, and his kids, too, she was beginning to realize. Just the idea of it filled her with more joy than she cared to admit. 

Hearing the tell-tale high whistle of the kettle, she stood and padded to toward the kitchen, her stocking-clad feet quiet on the carpet. It was obvious David hadn’t heard her approach. Leaning against the doorway, she stood wordlessly, taking in David’s appearance. He was leaning against the counter with his back to her, his muscular arms framing each side of his body. His shirt pulled tightly against rippling muscles, stretching across his back from his rigid stance. 

Julia resisted the urge to reach out and run her hands across the muscles there. She knew she would find them bunched and knotted, as she remembered the days David would come home from the police academy complaining of a stiff neck and back from carrying all his stress there. 

_ “You’re so tense, my love,” she whispered in his ear as she leaned forward, straddling his waist. David was stretched out across the bed, laying flat on his stomach, the same position she had found him in when she came home from work half an hour earlier.  _

_ He mumbled something inaudible from where his face was buried in the duvet and Julia chuckled lightly.  _

_ “Long day?” she asked, and was met with a wordless nod from David, his face still buried in the cover.  _

_ Placing a soft kiss right above his ear, she leaned back on her heels, feeling the mattress dip below her shifting weight.  _

_ “Mmmm. Maybe I can help with that?” she purred in a low voice, an air of suggestiveness laced in her words.  _

_ David turned his head to the side, making eye contact with her for the first time since she had gotten home. He arched a brow.  _

_ “Might be worth a try,” he said lifting his shoulders into a lazy shrug, his voice one of mock disinterest. Julia shoved his arm playfully in response.  _

_ “Shut up, and take off your shirt, David,” she said, arching a brow at him and he grinned. Shifting beneath her, he rolled over, now staring up at her from where she straddled his hips.  _

_ “I don’t know, Julia… I might be too tired. Maybe you should do it...” He suggested dramatically, unable to help the way one corner of his mouth turned upward into a smirk.  _

_ Julia laughed.  _

_ “Oh, you poor thing!” She murmured, tutting softly as she reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it free from his trousers. He gripped her hips as she started undoing the buttons, leaning forward and placing a light kiss on his chest with each new exposed portion of skin that appeared as she pushed the fabric down his arms.  _

_ “Julia,” he rasped, propping himself up on his elbows as she leaned forward to kiss him. Grinning as she met his gaze, she leaned forward, her mouth meshing with his.  _

_ “Stop trying to distract me, Constable Budd. Take your shirt off and roll over,” she instructed and David laughed.  _

_ “Is that how you sound in court?” he asked her with a grin, raising a brow. “You’re bossy. I like it.”  _

_ “You’re incorrigible.” Julia giggled, quickly growing serious. “Now, do what I said.” _

_ Moving off of him so he could remove his shirt, she watched as he pulled it off slowly, never breaking eye contact with her. She felt her throat go dry as she bit her lip, her eyes trailing down his body as she took in his handsome appearance.  _

_ “You know …” he began, his voice low as he began to crawl toward her across the bed. “A massage would be nice… but I can think of … other ways… to relieve stress that might be nice, too,” he said matter-of-factly.  _

_ He didn’t give Julia a chance to respond before he lunged toward her, knocking her back and landing on top of her body as she let out a loud squeal of surprise followed by a burst of laughter. David gave her a boyish grin before he leaned down and placed his lips gently against hers.  _

_ She let out a breathy sigh against his mouth, one hand coming to tangle in the curls at the nape of his neck, the other trailing lightly against his back.  _

_ “See? Best of both worlds,” he said with a grin before moving down to her neck, kissing and sucking lightly while her hands tightened on his back, pulling him closer into her. _

Julia pulled herself from the memory. There was something about being alone with him that made her go right back to those days. Back when nothing was simple, but they lived in each moment pretending it was. 

“Sugar is in the cupboard,” she murmured, watching him as he jumped in surprise at the sound of her voice. He turned to face her. 

“Aye. I found it,” he said, staring at her from across the room. 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier… about your marriage,” she said, choosing her words carefully. They had crossed the line of professionalism long ago, but she knew from experience how delicate the topic could be. 

David nodded wordlessly, letting her continue. 

“And I’m sorry, David,” she said, stepping closer to him, but still keeping some distance between them as he leaned back against the counter. “I’ve been there. And I know how it feels … to feel like it’s your fault that something fell apart. Even when you should know better.”

David clenched his jaw. That hit close to home. 

“I don’t know anything about your … relationship with … Vicky, wasn’t it?” She asked, uncertainly, and he gave a terse nod in response. “But if you want to talk about it?” 

It came out more of a question that a statement and Julia sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling as if she’d massively put her foot in it. 

“Of course, you don’t have to,” she added quickly. “I realize that may be strange for both of us, but I want you to know that you can always come to me…” 

David didn’t say anything for a long moment, silence filling the room as he turned to pour them each a cuppa. 

“Why don’t we go back into the den and get comfortable?” he suggested, holding a mug out to her. She nodded, wrapping her hands around the warm porcelain. It seemed like a good sign that David hadn’t reneged on her offer to stay. 

“You know, we really should stop spending so much time together,” Julia said, glancing over her shoulder at David as they walked back into the den together, David a few steps behind her. Some things truly never did change and she bit back a smile. “I can hear the rumors now, the home secretary and her bodyguard…It’s straight out of a cheesy movie.”

As she settled in on one end of the couch, she brought her knees to her chest, surprised to see that David had stopped and was staring intently at her. 

“What?”

“You mean that?” He asked, his tone even. Julia frowned. 

“No. I was joking… I only meant…” she stammered. Why did she forget how to speak like an intelligent human being when she was around him? She stared back at him, letting out a puff of breath. “I… want you to stay.”

“You sure?” He asked again, his anxiety apparent. She smiled again, wider this time, patting the seat next to her on the couch. 

“I’m sure. Now, come sit with me.” 

“Okay then,” David said with a nod, feeling the long-forgotten sensation of butterflies in his stomach as he sat down next to her on the couch. 

Each taking a sip of their tea, they sat together, not saying much. Instead, David reached for Julia’s hand, interlacing his fingers with hers and squeezing. That was all he needed to say at the moment.


	5. Confessions and Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Christ, David,” she said, still holding tightly to him. “You’ve been through hell. I am so sorry … for what you’ve been through … and for any part I might have played in that.”
> 
> “Don’t,” he said quickly. “I’m not angry with you anymore. When I first started this job, I wanted to be angry… but I can’t be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, shit is about to get real. David and Julia get really honest with each other and we find out the background with each of their dissolved marriages. About time, right? 
> 
> This chapter takes place directly after the ending of Chapter 4. So this is still my take on their cuppa that evening. It was a big night. 
> 
> Thank you all for your sweet comments and feedback. They give me such joy to read!

Somewhere along the way, what Julia had once considered awkward silence had become comfortable between them. Maybe it was the fact they were spending more time together. Or maybe it was because the energy had changed between them the moment he had admitted he and his wife were separated. Whatever it was, she was grateful for it. 

Looking over at David and taking in how much had changed in him, she couldn’t help but smile. There was a warmth there when he looked at her that she hadn’t seen in years. And it made her feel things that she hadn’t felt in years either.

Excusing herself from their time spent together over a cuppa, she had changed into something a bit more comfortable, finally worn down enough to admit defeat. It truly had been the longest day of the week and she was tired of wearing real clothes. Slipping into her favorite oversized charcoal cashmere sweater, she paired it with a pair of black yoga pants, glancing at her reflection in the mirror. Running her fingers through her hair nervously, she looked herself up and down and nodded. Yes, this would be fine. 

“Sorry about that,” she called out to him as she made her way back toward the den. She didn’t even know why she was apologizing, really. “I just needed to slip into something more... comfortable…”

Her words faded as she rounded the corner and found David placing his bulletproof vest on a chair across from the couch. 

“I’m technically off duty now… this okay?” he asked, pausing his actions. Julia nodded wordlessly, swallowing hard. While she had been gone, David had shed his tie and removed his earpiece, placing them on the coffee table. His button-down now hung loose around his body, with the sleeves rolled up to three-quarter length. She couldn’t help but notice the way his undershirt clung to his body and she was suddenly doubting her choice of wearing cashmere. The room seemed rather warm now. 

As they both returned to the couch at the same time, Julia settled in pulling a pillow in front of her body and crossing her legs as David sat next to her. 

Was he sitting closer to her than he had been before? She couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like he was. 

Picking up her mug and taking a sip, she stared at him over the edge of the porcelain. He tilted his head to look at her and let out a nervous laugh. 

“You still unsettle me when you look at me like that,” he admitted shyly and then it was Julia’s turn to laugh. 

“Unsettle you?” Julia repeated in surprise and David shook his head quickly, protesting. 

“It’s nothing,” he said quickly. 

Silence settled over the room again as they both regarded each other thoughtfully. 

“I didn’t tell you about Vicky on purpose,” David finally said, placing his mug down on the coffee table. Julia’s eyes stopped scanning the room absentmindedly as her eyes flew to his face, surprised by his choice of conversation. She hadn’t expected him to bring the topic up again after earlier. And she wondered what sort of Pandora’s Box was about to be opened between them. She thought flickered in her mind quickly that she should get another glass of wine. 

“Go on,” she coaxed gently, genuinely curious about his logic. 

“Well, I was thinking about it while you were changing … and I think I was afraid if I said it outloud … to you of all people, it made it real,” he said. “I’ve been in denial for a long time, but things haven’t been good between me and Vick for years now…” 

Julia frowned. The story sounded painfully familiar and Roger’s face flashed quickly in her memory as she remembered the arguments, the nights he didn’t come home, the slamming of doors as he left to sleep at the office after a particularly fierce row … Her train of thought was interrupted as David continued.

“I, uh, Vicky and I… I never meant to…” David was stumbling over his words now and Julia waited patiently, not saying anything. Her eyes sought out his, trying to reassure him without a look.

“We met the first time I came home on leave,” he began. “She was a nurse and we met at a clinic here in London. We hit it off pretty well and I asked her out. I was home for three weeks and then I left to go back overseas… I got a letter from her a couple of months later. We had talked of keeping in touch, so I wasn’t surprised … at first. But in the letter, she told me that she was pregnant and that she was planning to keep the baby.”

Julia’s eyes widened, as the dots began to connect in her head. She nodded slowly, encouraging him to continue with the story. 

“Her parents were pretty conservative and she couldn’t imagine… anyway. I wrote her back, telling her we would figure things out. That I would take care of her and the baby. And I meant it. I came home and we decided to get married. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time,” the last sentence made it seem like David was talking more to himself that he was to Julia. 

“David, you really don’t have to --” Julia stopped when he held up a hand in protest. 

“Just let me get this out Julia,” he murmured and she tilted her head to look at him uncertainly as he continued. “We were just trying to make it work the best we could. A deployment and an unexpected pregnancy isn’t exactly the way most relationships tend to get their start, but... We got married. Was given two weeks leave before I had to be back on base…”

“That was when your face started popping up in the headlines,” he added quickly. “The first time I saw you on a newspaper, I thought I had really lost it. You had gotten the MP seat and were starting to make waves in the country.” He gave her a wan smile that turned into a grimace. “It only served to remind me of that last fight every time I saw your picture or your name. And how badly things had ended between us.” 

Julia sighed. 

“I didn’t know…” she began and trailed off as David continued.

“I didn’t have much time to dwell on it,” he reassured her. “I worked hard and I trained harder, then I got word from Vicky that something was wrong. I made it back to London just in time for Ella’s birth in August. She was early. For a while, things were very touch and go. But Ella is our little fighter. She made a full recovery. We were happy after that. We really were. I got extended medical leave to stay home and help care for Ella and be with Vicky.”

“I’m so glad Ella was okay,” she whispered, breathing a sigh of relief she hadn’t realized she had been holding. She had no idea about Ella’s difficult start in life, and could only imagine what David and Vicky had gone through. 

“Yeah, that little girl is my world,” David said, finally genuinely smiling for the first time since the conversation began. “Both my kids are. Having children has a way of changing you. None of the little things matter anymore. You just want the best for them, always.”

Julia smiled at him, letting her mind drift, if only for a moment, on what might have been. If she had been the one having David’s children... 

“So, then what happened?” she asked quickly, needing the distraction. 

“The next couple of years are a blur, honestly. Vick was practically raising Ella as a single mum, though she had help from her parents, of course. But I was out of the picture. A lot. We exchanged letters often, and she would send me pictures of the baby to see how she was growing. But then the fighting began. The stretches between letters became longer and longer. I couldn’t answer the ones Vicky was sending me fast enough and they would pile up. I was doing the best I could trying to balance it all.” 

Julia noticed how David’s statement from earlier had changed from ‘we’ to ‘I’ but she said nothing as she sipped at her lukewarm tea. 

“I couldn’t get home for Ella’s first birthday. Vicky was furious,” David told her, his sadness obvious. “I finally managed to convince my lieutenant to send me home for a few weeks that fall. To see my little girl. Vicky was glad to have me home at first, I think. I got to be home for a couple of months at Christmas then. Ella was almost a year and a half old. Things seemed good. We were a family again. Vicky and I were making an effort. I was there just long enough for her to realize she was pregnant again.” 

David groaned then, covering his eyes with his hand. 

“We were young and stupid,” he said matter of factly, shaking his head. “We should have been more careful, considering... I didn’t even get to go to a doctor’s appointment with her. But she found out she was having a boy. Sent me the sonogram and everything once I was back in Helmand. We decided to name him Charlie. After my grandda.”

The reminder brought a smile to his face that had Julia smiling as well at the infectious nature of it. “I remember you telling me about your grandparents” Julia said, leaning back against the arm of the couch. “When we went to Glasgow for that long weekend.”

David nodded quickly. “Aye. I used to spend all my summers with he and my gram as a boy. It seemed fitting to name my son Charlie.” His smile faded. “The excitement was short-lived as they sent me out on the battlefield though. I watched guys I had trained with get blown to pieces. Watched the way the nightmares started to plague the men in my battalion. Always promised myself I would never let it get that bad. But you don’t get to decide how you deal with PTSD.”

“Oh, David,” Julia murmured. She said his name sadly, seeing his struggle written plainly across his face. 

“I was really having a go of it, but there weren't any options for getting help over there. You sucked it up and went on with your life. That was all you could do. I didn’t make it home for Charlie’s birth. I thought Vicky was never going to speak to me again after that. And it all just started to cave in around me.” He shrugged, his shoulders feeling heavy as he relieved those days as if they were just happening for the first time. “I didn’t get to even meet my son until he was almost two. They couldn’t spare the manpower. We had lost a ton of soldiers, some of them I called my best friends.”

Julia felt a stab of guilt in her stomach, but said nothing, letting David continue. 

“And then, when I did get home, things were tense between me and Vicky. We tried. We really did. But it was so hard. Our relationship had started out being strained, four years of war didn’t help. And then the nightmares started. I would wake up to Vicky shaking me from sleep. Then when that didn’t work, she would have to yell my name to break me from their grasp. They weren’t that often, then. We wrote it off as a side effect of war and I promised I would look into my recovery options when I got home.”

David paused, chewing at his lip as he hesitated. These were the things he wasn’t proud of. The things he wondered if I should tell Julia. If she would look at him differently because of them. But there she was, sitting in front of him, looking like she would erase all of his pain if she could. And he knew she was his safe space.

“You can tell me,” she whispered. Sensing his hesitation, she reached out to touch his shoulder gently, her fingertips ghosting lightly over the muscle she felt there. He took a deep breath.

“This is where it gets rough,” he warned and Julia nodded, her hand never leaving his shoulder. “The nightmares started coming more and more frequently. I was afraid to go home. Afraid of what I would do in my unconscious state. Worried for my wife and the kids. I started signing up for new assignments without talking to Vicky about it. Taking the dangerous ones that no one else wanted.” 

“David…”

“You married Roger during those couple of years I was away. Read about that in the papers, too. Britain’s Political Power Couple, Roger Penhaligon and Julia Montague,” he said it calmly, and without the accusation Julia had expected. But it still made her sigh. “I was still so angry at you. For agreeing to keep us in that godforsaken place. For signing off on a piece of paper that didn’t impact your life but changed mine every single day. I started to think about you more often then. I wondered what would happen if you could see what I had become. I knew you would be disappointed. Vicky was disappointed. I was disappointed in myself.” 

“No... I could never be disappointed in you,” she said, her words begging him to believe her. “Not after what I felt for you…” 

Past tense. David rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen some of the tension there as he spoke. “Years passed and I spent my time going between London and Helmand. Visiting the kids as much as I could and then being reassigned. Over and over again. Fighting those same demons as the nightmares continued. Vets don’t like to talk about it, but PTSD waged its own war on me. And I almost didn’t survive it…” He hesitated, a confession on his lips as his eyes met hers shyly.

“I thought about ending it over there,” he finally said lowly, while Julia leaned in closer to him, her mouth open, and tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “I just wanted to be free from it’s grasp. But I thought of my kids. And my parents. And of you.”

With his last sentence, the tears began to fall, and Julia placed her coffee mug on the table, her hand coming to her mouth as David’s narrative continued. 

“When I came home, Vicky convinced me not to sign a new contract. She asked me to stay home for the kids. So they could finally really get to know their dad. It was all for them. She wanted nothing to do with me, and I couldn’t say I blamed her. I was a different person than the guy who took her out to dinner during his first stay home. That guy was gone. I tried to convince her we could work on it for the kids. That we should try to do what was best for them and she agreed to at least try. To give it one last go. But I wasn’t really trying, if I’m being honest.” 

“I refused to go to the therapy sessions that she paid for, and the nightmares kept coming. They got worse when I drank, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to forget it all. To forget what I had seen and what I had lived through. A decade of my life that I could never get back.” His words were bitter and Julia wiped at her eyes, trying to staunch the flow of tears. “Vicky lost her patience with me and we legally separated last year. She still cared about me and wanted me to get better, she made sure I knew that, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk about what I was going through with anyone. So I just didn’t. She lied for me about my PTSD so I could get a job. It helped me feel like I was doing something right. For her and the kids. I think I felt a sense of obligation, to try to make their lives better. To be a family again. But it just wasn’t working.”

“I went back to my roots. Returned to the police force -- they took me in without question -- where I started working for Lorraine Craddock and the Royalty and Specialist Protection Branch of the Metropolitan Police Service. And … here I am. Sitting here with you after all these years.”

Before he had finished, her arms were wrapped tightly around David’s broad shoulders as she leaned into his body, hugging him tightly. He could feel the way her tears soaked through the arm of his shirt as she sniffled into the cotton fabric there. 

“Christ, David,” she said, still holding tightly to him. “You’ve been through hell. I am so sorry … for what you’ve been through … and for any part I might have played in that.”

“Don’t,” he said quickly. “I’m not angry with you anymore. When I first started this job, I wanted to be angry… but I can’t be.”

Sitting back on her heels, David shook his head as he took in her tear-stained face. He hated to see her cry, but the fact she was crying over him… it made David feel things he was sure he wasn’t supposed to be feeling anymore. He wished he could lean forward and kiss away her tears as his lips worshipped every inch of her skin. His gaze slid down her body and landed on the way her sweater had slipped off her shoulder as she hugged him. His eyes fixated on the bare skin there. 

As his eyes returned to her face, he realized she had caught him staring and he cleared his throat, chuckling nervously. 

“You know, I’ve never told the whole story to anyone before…” he admitted. “I don’t know what it is about you, Julia Montague, but you get me to open up in a way that no one else ever has…” 

She smiled brightly at him. 

“It’s my cheery personality,” she joked, both of them chuckling before she grew serious. “I’m glad you still feel like you can tell me things,” she whispered, her eyes locked onto his.The room was quiet as the two of them stared at each other, neither of them willing to break the moment. David’s eyes fell to her lips, then returned to her eyes, where she was watching him knowingly. 

David got to his feet, stretching as he paced the room a little and turned to look at her expectantly. 

“So, now that you know my story, it’s time for you to share yours. I really want to know how you ended up with your Mr. Penhaligon. One half of Britain’s Political Power Couple.” His words were teasing and Julia rolled her eyes.

“Ah, we’re doing that tonight, are we? I suppose that’s fair, although I think I need more wine if that’s the case…” She stood. “Can I tempt you?”

“Better than anyone I know,” he said with a sly grin and Julia let out a short burst of laughter, covering her mouth. 

“Some things really do never change, Sargeant,” she said with a smirk as she moved into the kitchen, pulling out her wine glass she had used at dinner and a clean one for David. Glancing at the clock, her eyes widened at the time. 

“You sure it’s not getting too late?” she called into the living room as she poured them each a glass of wine. 

“We can always save my tragic story of love lost for another time,” she continued as she entered the den again, handing David a glass with a rather heavy pour. 

He looked up at her, arching a brow. “Not a chance,” he said with a smirk and Julia rolled her eyes in mock annoyance. 

“Here goes nothing then,” she said, raising her glass toward his as she settled in next to him on the couch, their shoulders and thighs touching in close proximity.

“After you left, I regretted a lot of things…” she began, her index finger toying with the rim of the wine glass. “The things I’d said, the way things ended…” she sighed. 

David nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his wine, humming with pleasure at Julia’s choice as she continued. 

“After our argument, I thought about going back to your flat… to talk through things … to figure out why we had imploded,” she said, not meeting David’s eyes. “But I talked myself out of it. At least then I did…” 

She let the silence weigh heavy between them as she wondered just honest she should be with David now. It seemed like they were really putting it all out there.

“I came back, David,” she said softly, looking up from her glass. 

“Came back….?” He repeated in confusion. 

“For you. To see you… I couldn’t stand the way things ended between us. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t able to focus at work. I lasted two days before I caved,” she admitted ruefully. “I came back to your flat to apologize. To tell you I wanted to work things out. But you were gone.”

David’s eyes widened as he turned to look at her in surprise. He had had no idea. 

“You… I didn’t know, Julia…” 

Julia gave a noncommittal shrug. 

“I know. You were already gone. I ran into your landlord,” she said, biting her bottom lip. “He said you had left early for your training. You were gone. I had lost you.” 

“You didn’t lose me,” David argued quickly. “I just … couldn’t stand being in that flat anymore. It was filled with memories of you. And it hurt too much. So I took off. I ran. Away from you. Away from the memories. Away from my life.” 

Julia looked at him, giving him a sad smile. 

“I thought it must have been a sign. That we ran our course, and all we were then were memories.”

She took a long sip of her wine, angling her body away from his and leaning back against the decorative pillows that adorned the couch. 

“I buried myself in my work,” she told him. “Started working harder, working longer hours. I was the first one in and the last one out every damn day. Ben was really impressed. He kept pushing me to run for the MP seat. I figured I had nothing else to lose at the point, so I did it.”

Julia didn’t miss the way David’s jaw clenched as he nodded and she shook her head. 

“I won the seat for Conservative MP for Thames West. I met Roger shortly after that. He was an MP for Surrey North, and knew his stuff. I thought it was attractive then…” she admitted with a heavy sigh and David couldn’t help the laugh that slipped between his lips at her obvious disdain for her ex-husband. 

“We were in the same social circles, we knew the same people … we just kept running into each other. In my mind, it made perfect sense to start dating when he asked me out. You should have seen the press. They went crazy. Started playing up the political angle of it all.”

“Roger was on the rise on the political scene, and I was making waves as a first-year MP… It was a good career move for both of us,” Julia admitted, taking another sip of wine. “Though that’s hardly a reason to get married, looking back at it now.”

David nodded in understanding. 

“It doesn’t seem like either of us got it quite right, did we?” he asked with a smirk. Julia ignored his statement.

“He proposed to me over dinner at a fancy French restaurant,” she said with a sigh, remembering the moment in her head. “We hadn’t been together long at that point, but I think I saw the writing on the wall. I knew it was coming. A couple of months later, he was appointed Chief Whip.” She laughed at the irony of the statement. “I’m sure we loved each other at some point, though looking back on it, it seems hard to see it now.”

“It all happened rather quickly, but I didn’t think much of it,” she said shrugging. “For a while, I think we were happy. As happy as one can be in that kind of situation.”

“We got on well, made front page coverage with our new Political Power Couple pet name… and things seemed fine. It was beneficial for us both. But then things started to go south.” 

She took a long sip of wine, her brows furrowing. 

“I think I told you that Roger was frustrated that I seemed to still be rising in the political world?” She asked and David nodded, thinking back to the first time she had confided in him about her ex-husband after their tense confrontation outside the Houses of Parliament. 

“You did. You said it wasn’t what he signed up for when he married you,” David reminded her and Julia gave a bitter laugh in response. 

“No, I was not the trophy wife that Roger expected me to be. I guess I was supposed to let him have the spotlight, to let him be the one to get recognized out in public and when that didn’t happen… We fought all the time,” she said with a heavy sigh. 

“Roger started sleeping around with God knows who … I didn’t know, I didn’t care…” She looked up at David, unsurprised to see that he seemed angry. “It got him out of my hair,” she said with a shrug. “But in public, we kept up the charade. Acting like that powerful couple that everyone thought they knew.  _ The _ Roger Penhaligon and Julia Montague.. What a joke.” 

“By then, I had been an MP for 5 years… I guess we sold the title well enough, because the PM started taking notice of his Chief Whip’s wife. He would comment on the legislation I was putting through court, commenting on how well I did my job… when the position opened up for the Home Secretary position, he appointed me to the post.” 

Her eyes were wide now. 

“There are still some days I can’t believe it,” she said, chuckling. “I wake up and I wonder how I got here -- in particular, I wonder how I got here with  _ you _ , a lot more lately.”

She cleared her throat, as David’s eyes met her own.

“Anyway. I guess the promotion was too much for Roger… he couldn’t handle the power struggle any longer, despite being the fucking chief whip. We had never fought more than we did then. We went through a messy divorce my first year in the Home Office and I never looked back.”

“I think from that moment on, he took it upon himself to make my life miserable. Every interaction with him became acrimonious, professionally and personally. He began to question my every move, determined I was making a move for the leadership and for Number Ten.”

“And is he wrong?” David asked curiously. 

“At first, I didn’t have my eye that high. I wanted to see what I could do for the country as Home Secretary… but now… well, the idea of pushing for Number Ten is rather appealing… Do you hate me for that?” 

“I could never hate you, you know that,” he admonished. “I’ve told you as much tonight. I do have one question though…” 

Julia groaned. 

“Oh, no. This … should be interesting,” she said, laughing. “Hold on, let me prepare.”

Closing her eyes she took a big sip of wine, nearing the bottom of an almost empty glass. 

“Okay, do your worst…” she whispered, her eyes clenched tightly. 

“Are you happy?”

Opening her eyes again, she met his determined stare and fiddled with the stem of her wine glass as she stretched her legs out in front of her. Without hesitation, David reached for her legs, pulling them into his lap so she was stretched out across the couch. She smiled at the action and leaned further back against a pillow, starting to feel sleepy from the alcohol and the late hour. 

“I’m fine with where I am now, David.” She wasn’t sure if she meant her current position in her career or being with him on the couch, but she guessed both were true. 

“Fine doesn’t mean you’re happy, Julia,” he said pointedly. “And I want you to be happy. You deserve that.”

“I’m happy when I’m with you,” she offered and David felt his heart start to beat a little faster at her confession. David watched as her eyes started to grow heavier and he smiled at the way she was fighting sleep, her eyelids fluttering. 

“I should go,” he whispered. Her eyes popped open in response and she sat up again, hastily pulling her legs from David’s lap. 

“I’ll walk you out,” she said breathily as she got to her feet, unable to stifle a yawn in the process as David collected his things. 

She watched as he re-buttoned his shirt, pulling his tie back on. He hoped he would be lucky enough to catch a guard change when he left the building, but in case he didn’t, he needed to at least look professional. Tongues would be wagging because of the later hour as it was. They didn’t need any extra ammunition.

The two of them walked to the door together, and Julia leaned against the wooden frame as David opened it to leave. 

“Thank you… for opening up to me tonight,” she said gratefully, feeling the now-familiar sensation of butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. There was definitely something happening between them. David smiled and paused in the doorway, turning to look at her, his gaze going back and forth between her eyes and her lips.

“On a scale of one to ten… how bad of an idea would it be for me to kiss you?” he whispered, leaning in toward her face and stopping just short of touching her lips with his own. 

Between the alcohol and David’s close proximity, Julia was struggling to form proper words.

“I… um… probably… a 15,” she finally managed to get out, closing her eyes as she took in his scent. She could smell the wine they had shared on his breath, and it mixed with the scent of his cologne she had become so accustomed to. Her brain seemed to be in overdrive and her senses were muddled. It was a bad idea, that was true. But that didn’t mean she didn’t still want him. 

David frowned at the rating she gave. He knew she was right, and he hated it. 

“You should know that I want to… don’t think I don’t…” he told her quickly, his thumb running briefly over her bottom lip. “I’ve wanted to kiss you from the moment I saw you again, Julia. But you’re right. We shouldn’t… you’re still my boss… and I’m still your PPO.”

Julia opened her eyes quickly, suddenly feeling very sober. 

“No, you’re right,” she straightened then, as did David, pulling away from her face. 

“Good night, ma’am…” he said with a grin. Julia sighed at the formality. 

“Good night … Sargeant.” 

Leaning forward quickly, David placed a kiss on her cheek, lingering for only a second before practically forcing himself out the door. Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched him go. 

“See you in the morning, beautiful,” he called back to her over his shoulder as he started toward the stairs. 

Julia closed the door, locking it behind him as she leaned against the wood, her eyes closing and her hand coming to rest on her cheek. This was going to be a problem. 


	6. Thornton Circus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had called. And he had answered after two rings. That was the only thing that explained David’s presence as he approached The Blackwood Hotel this late at night. 
> 
> Three words were all he had needed to hear before he was changed and out the door. 
> 
> “I need you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think (and hope) this is the chapter you guys have been anticipating — the aftermath of Thornton Circus. Note the change in the story rating from Teen to Mature as David and Julia cope with their traumatic day in the best way they know how. (FINALLY.) ;) 
> 
> You know the drill, flashbacks are in italics as perspective changes back and forth. 
> 
> This chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I expected, but I just can’t seem to shut up about these two. 
> 
> Lastly, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for those of you that continue to leave the nicest comments every week. They mean so much to me and keep me writing. 
> 
> Okay, shutting up so y’all can read now. :)

She had called. And he had answered after two rings. That was the only thing that explained David’s presence as he approached The Blackwood Hotel this late at night. 

He double-checked the address she had sent him half an hour before and looked up at the building. 

Three words were all he had needed to hear before he was changed and out the door. 

_ “I need you.”  _

David’s throat felt dry. As soon as the name Lavender popped up on his phone screen, he knew he would do whatever she asked of him. But for her to be calling… the panic began to set in. What if something was wrong? What if something else had happened?

_ “Julia?” Her name slipped easily from his lips without a second thought. “Are you alright? I thought Kim was with you tonight…”  _

_ “She was... But I told her to go home to her family. That I would be fine. And I thought I would be...” She paused then, and David could hear the hesitation before the admission. “David, I’m not fine.”  _

_ Her words were slow and measured and David could practically hear the exhaustion in her voice. She sounded lonely. And afraid. He made the decision before they even hung up.  _

_ “I’ll be right there.”  _

_ He changed his clothes in haste, settling for a sharp dark suit jacket, a powder blue button down and a pair of dark jeans. While getting ready, the events of the day played out in his head. But today at Thornton Circus was not your normal day.  _

He felt a dreadful sense of guilt building in his stomach as he approached the service entrance of the hotel; for hiding an illegal firearm in his flat as she called. For his involvement with Andy Apsted. For lying to the police. But most of all, for putting her life in danger. That was all he could think about as the armed guards scanned his identification and let him pass through the building. 

In the lift, on the way to her floor, his mind wandered to how different the outcome of this day might have been. How she could have been injured... or _ worse _ . Andy had meant to kill Julia today. That much David was sure of. 

He thought back to the rooftop of Pascoe House. To the defeated look in Andy’s eyes as he’d raised the gun to his jaw and his body crumpled as he collapsed into a heap. David should have done more. He should have stopped him. He should have seen the signs.

The ding of the bell signaling his arrival on Julia’s floor finally broke him from his thoughts. Walking quickly toward Julia’s suite, he greeted the guard outside the door of room 610. 

“Here to see the principal,” David told the man who looked him over and gave him a curt nod. 

He recognized the man. They had been through training together when he returned from Helmand. Patrick something, he thought. 

“Go on in, Sarge.” 

David rapped swiftly on the door, hearing Julia’s voice from the other side as he reached for the door handle. Entering her suite, his eyes quickly found her settled on the couch in the den, not unlike they had been in her flat the night before. She was clutching a glass and David watched as she took a sip from an unsteady hand. He could see from where he stood at the door that she was trembling. 

“Julia…” he murmured, her eyes finally meeting his from across the room.   
  


At the sound of her name coming from his lips, Julia felt an overwhelming sense of relief and the strong urge to cry at his presence. Everything had happened so quickly after the shooting that she hadn’t even had the chance to see David. Not since she had briefly spotted him standing on the roof of Pascoe House looking down on her as Kim ushered her into the back of a waiting car. Not since he had saved her life. She had needed to see him. She needed to see with her own eyes that he was okay. That she hadn’t lost him all over again. 

When she was satisfied after looking him over and seeing no visible signs of trauma from their harrowing day, she breathed a sigh of relief before she spoke.

“No complaints about the surroundings, but it’s unsettling not to be allowed back into your own home,” she finally said. She looked around the room as she spoke. The Blackwood was a lovely hotel. Luxurious. Expensive. But it wasn’t where she wanted to be. She wanted to be in her own home with her things. She didn’t want to have a target on her back any more.

“Following an attempt on your life, ma’am, protection measures have been ramped up,” he reminded her stiffly. Professionally. As if she needed the reminder.

She stared blankly at him in response. 

“And do you think I’m still in danger?” Her words were quiet. David thought she sounded a lot like Ella or Charlie when they were afraid of something. He wished more than anything he could take that fear away from her. To wrap her in his arms, mollify her and make sure he knew that he would protect her … with his own life, if necessary. 

“It’ll turn out to be a nut-job acting alone,” he reassured her. It was a half-truth. 

She hadn’t moved from her spot on the couch. 

“SO15 don’t know anything about the gunman?” she asked, switching gears, and David felt his guilt return.

“I can’t imagine they’re telling me more than they’re telling you, ma’am,” he said it with a smile, pressing his lips tightly together as she analyzed him. She nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. 

“Well, I’ve got a meeting in the morning with Stephen Hunter-Dunn. So … maybe the Security Service can shed more light...”

David’s eyes narrowed, but he was quick to cover his initial reaction. His distrust of Stephen Hunter-Dunn was growing every day. And he wondered how Julia was involved with the man. He seemed slippery, like he would do whatever it took to get what he wanted, anyone else be damned. Julia included.   
  


“First priority is preservation of life.” His words were terse and meant to reassure her. But they missed their mark as she whirled around to face him angrily. 

“I was being shot at!” She reminded him, knocking over a glass in the process. And then he was at her elbow, reaching to steady her. It was the closest he had been to her all day. 

“Ma’am. Why don’t you sit down and let me take care of this?” He offered rigidly.

Julia sighed, letting her head hang heavily. She hadn’t meant to snap at him. The circumstances of the day were beginning to get the best of her. And she was tired of him calling her  **ma’am** . She watched where his hand hovered above the tray, turning her head the slightest bit to look at him. 

It felt as if there was a chasm between them. One that certainly hadn’t been there the night before, as he told her how much he wanted to kiss her at her door. He was standing so close to her now that she could have touched him. 

Instead, she leaned forward, brushing her hair against his face. Once. Then twice. She fully leaned her body into him, feeling breathless as she took in the masculine scent of his aftershave. His nose was in her hair, and she was suddenly grateful for the three showers she’d had taken to actually feel clean after the incident that afternoon. It had taken that many rinses to wash Terry’s blood from her hair and her body. She felt nauseous just thinking about it and tried desperately to block the memory from her brain. 

She turned her attention back to David, beginning to grow frustrated. He was standing still as a statue, not moving, not speaking and not even  _ touching _ her. He hadn’t touched her since he walked through her door. Even though it was all she wanted … all she needed. 

“I’m not the queen…” she finally whispered. “You’re allowed to touch me.” 

A softly spoken reminder. Encouragement, even. She wanted to laugh at her own words. Allowed to touch her… that probably wasn’t true. After all, she was his boss. He was her principal protection officer. But in that moment, Julia decided she didn’t care. She was tired of the back and forth. Tired of wanting him and pretending that she didn’t. Mostly, she was just tired.

She brushed her hand against his as it hovered in the air above the tea service. The touch was brief at first, weighing his initial reaction. When he didn’t pull away, she repeated the motion, her fingers brushing against his rough, calloused hands. Taking it a step further, she fully leaned into him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder, moving closer to him and wrapping her arms around his broad, muscular back. She didn’t miss the way his body tensed as she touched him. 

His arms were still at his sides and Julia could feel his internal struggle as her hands held onto him tightly. She felt the movement of his strong, sinewy arms as they slowly came to wrap around her slight frame. One across her shoulders, the other on her lower back. She relaxed into him, breathing a sigh of relief as she rested against his shoulder, her eyes closed. She had wanted him to hold her like this for so long.

It was then that the enormity of the day hit her. The fact that they could have lost each other again. Without ever getting to truly revisit their feelings for one another. She thought of their conversation from the night before. This was wrong. But nothing had felt more right to her than this did…for the first time in a long time. 

She couldn’t deny it any longer. She still had feelings for David Budd. And she was certain he felt the same way. 

Pulling back, she brushed her face against his, her mouth slightly open as a breathy sigh escaped her lips. Her eyes were closed as she nuzzled against him, the feeling of his skin against hers never feeling more real and more right than it did in that moment. 

She wasn’t sure who went in for the kiss first, but then their lips were on each other and nothing else seemed to matter. 

His hands were in her hair, holding her face to his as their lips tangled together in a messy embrace. His hold on her tightened, pulling her body into him as he latched onto her lips for a second, more passionate kiss. 

Fucking  **finally** . 

She let out a moan, feeling  _ every _ inch of David’s body pressed against her own. She had known it was inevitable that they would give in to their passion eventually. But she had never imagined it would happen like this. 

  
  


_ “I don’t normally do this,” she whispered breathlessly against David’s lips, wrinkling her nose at how cliche her declaration sounded.  _

_ David shook his head quickly at her words.  _

_ “Me either,” he said, pulling his lips away from hers just long enough to agree before returning to their kiss hungrily. Julia giggled against his mouth as his hand came to tangle in her long wavy hair.  _

_ As she had expected, the wine had gone straight to her head, leaving her feeling a bit like a schoolgirl with her crush for the first time. They had sat and talked for a while in the bar before she suggested he come back to hers; a suggestion that had made David’s brow raise in surprise as he nodded. “Alright,” he had said, making the quick decision without much hesitation.  _

_ Instead of a taxi, she had told him her flat was only a few blocks away and they elected to walk, huddled close together on the unusually chilly night. The rain had stopped just before they exited the bar, leaving the city covered in a dense fog. David’s arm rested around her waist as they walked, both of them silently musing about what they had gotten themselves into.  _

_ They had barely made it through the front door before they had been all over each other, neither of them unable to resist the other for any longer. _

_ David’s hands were everywhere on her now, breaking her from her train of thought, as she groaned and pulled away breathlessly.  _

_ “Christ, you have to be 10 years younger than me,” she whispered, taking him in, her eyes dark with lust. _

_ David shrugged, his unwavering stare never leaving Julia’s face.  _

_ “Does that matter?” he asked, emboldened by alcohol as he leaned forward, his lips falling to her neck where he began to kiss and nip softly, lapping at the sensitive skin. _

_ A sound of pleasure slipped from Julia’s lips and she blushed as David pulled back and looked at her, his brow arched meticulously as he stared at her with a knowing smirk.  _

_ “Not at all,” she murmured, wrapping her arms tightly around his body and pushing him backward toward her bedroom.  _

_ The back of his knees hit the bed and he fell backwards onto it, grabbing her hips and pulling her down with him as she let out a cry of surprise. They both laughed as she climbed over him, straddling his thighs and feeling him hard and ready beneath her. She bit her lip, closing her eyes as she ground her hips against him and David let out a groan of pleasure.  _

_ “You’re sure?” He asked, looking up at her with heavy eyes as she sat astride his legs, hovering over his body as he leaned back on his elbows. This was the moment of truth. Part of him was afraid she would change her mind. That the effects of the alcohol would suddenly fade and she would see him in a whole new light. One that found him less appealing than she had in the bar where he had so boldly introduced himself. David wasn’t sure if he believed in God, but he found himself praying to some unknown Deity, willing this to happen.  _

_ She smiled widely in return, finding his uncertainty charming. “Oh, I’m sure,” she murmured, leaning down and pressing her lips against his as she pushed him back on the bed, bracing her arms on either side of his shoulders as he began to undress her.  _

  
  


David’s eyes scanned the room quickly, taking in all of their options. The couch was closest, but he wanted to take his time. To get this right with Julia. It had been over a decade since they had been together… this wasn’t some easy fling for him. And he needed her to know that.

Sensing his indecision and the reason for it, she took him by the hand, leading him to the bedroom with him following closely behind, his hands resting on her hips. As they came to stand at the foot of the bed, David eyes met Julia’s and he offered her a bright smile which she watched appear then disappear just as quickly as he reached for the hem of her shirt, growing serious. 

She felt her legs begin to tremble in anticipation as he pulled the silky fabric over her head and tossed it to the ground where it landed in a heap. She leaned forward, kissing him as she took a step closer to him, reaching for the button of her trousers and undoing them. Grabbing his hand, she guided him to the waistband, pulling away and letting him take control of the moment. 

It wasn’t easy for Julia to cede control to others, but right now she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than to let David take the lead on this. 

Making sure he was reading her signals correctly, David began to push her slacks down from her waist, pausing and meeting her eyes. She gave him a brief nod, as if granting him permission and watched as he lowered the fabric to the ground, kneeling in front of her and helping her to step out of them. He ran his fingers slowly up and down her thighs as he met with bare skin and leaned forward, placing quick kisses where his fingers had been only moments before, his eyes looking up at her.

Getting to his feet, his gaze travelled up from her long, shapely legs, taking in the appearance of her covered in matching black lace and he let out sound of appreciation that left Julia giggling breathlessly in a way neither of them had expected. 

She shouldn’t have been nervous, she thought, but there was something particularly intimate about baring yourself to the man who knew you better than anyone else ever had. Especially after such a long time being apart.

He whispered her name against her lips as he leaned in to kiss her repeatedly, his hands coming to brush against the skin of her stomach and her waist lightly. 

The idea that he had almost lost her today sprang to his mind unwelcomed and he frowned, just thinking about it again. 

“When I heard those gunshots at Thornton Circus …” he whispered, punctuating the sentiment with tiny kisses. “I can’t imagine…” he murmured, his words trailing off quietly.

Julia nodded quickly, her hand taking his and intertwining their fingers together. He didn’t have to finish the sentence for her to know exactly what he meant. She shushed him, her index finger coming to cover his lips. 

“It’s not worth thinking about now,” she told him softly, trying to push the memories away for both of them.

Leaning in and capturing his lips with her own, she bit lightly against them. Reaching for the buttons of his shirt, she began to undo them painstakingly slow, her eyes trained on the meticulous task.

In her head, however, all she could hear were the sound of gunshots. Of bullets hitting the metal. And her screams drowning out everything else. Her hands paused mid-action as she lost herself in the gruesome memory, and she felt the tears begin to pool in her eyes unexpectedly. 

“You’re shivering…”

It was David’s voice that finally pulled her from the garish nightmare that she had relived over and over again since that afternoon. She looked up at him, unsure how long she had been locked in the memory. He was staring at her, the concern obvious on his face.

“I was just … thinking... about today…” she finally offered, her shoulders falling heavily with the weight of the experience.

David frowned, reaching forward and without permission, wiped a stray tear that had slid from her eye. “I shouldn’t have said that earlier about almost losing you. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

Julia knew his apology was genuine and she shook her head. 

“No, it’s okay… you … you didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. Whoever that was today …. I should be dead right now.” 

The words came out rapidly and jumbled together, but David still reeled at the way she said it. That she should be dead. So straightforward. He wanted to protest. Wanted to tell her that he would never let anything like that happen to her ever again, but then he noticed she was still trembling and he frowned. 

“Stay right here,” he told her, touching her arm gently. Disappearing into the bathroom, he looked around for something he could wrap around her body, finding success in the form of an expensive white terrycloth robe that hung on the back of the door. 

When he entered the room again, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her arms wrapped self-consciously around her waist as she stared down at the floor. He hated that someone — that  _ Andy _ — had done this to her. Julia Montague was a powerful, assertive woman. And now, he was sure he could see a haunted look in those beautiful hazel eyes that he knew all too well.

Approaching her carefully, he made sure she noticed he had entered the room again before placing the robe gently around her shoulders. 

“Staying warm will help with the shaking…” he explained as she looked up at him with wide eyes, her hands fidgeting nervously. 

Julia nodded wordlessly, slipping her arms into the robe as David tied it tightly around her waist, his hands rubbing up and down her shoulders to try to comfort her. Everything seemed like it was moving in slow motion around her. 

“I’ll stay with you tonight,” he whispered softly, kneeling in front of her, his palms coming to rest on the warm, thick material that covered her thighs. “But I’m not sure we should…” he looked around the room, avoiding her gaze and willing himself not to think about what had almost happened between them just a few moments earlier. 

“Are you hungry?” He finally asked, his eyes meeting hers. “I can order room service and …” he trailed off, standing and turning away from Julia to begin moving into the kitchen, but was surprised when he felt her hand grab his. 

Moving slowly from the bed, she pulled him back toward her, her fingers interlacing with his for the second time that night. 

“I want you to  _ stay _ with me, David…” her words were soft, and she hated how it sounded like she was pleading with him. 

David opened and shut his mouth wordlessly, watching the way her gaze travelled from his eyes to his lips and back again. 

The two of them stared at each other for a long minute before Julia took another step toward him, reaching boldly for the tie of her robe and undoing it so the material fell away from her body, hanging off her shoulders loosely. 

David cleared his throat, taking in the sight of her as it was revealed to him again.

“I want you to make me forget…” she whispered, leaning into him and hesitating so their breaths mingled together in the lowly lit room. “I don’t want to think about today… I don’t want to remember … I just want to  **be** with you.” 

“You… you sure?” He stammered, closing his eyes as the smell of lavender soap began to take over his senses. He swallowed hard. 

“I’m sure,” she murmured against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him. “I’ve been wanting to do this for weeks…”

That was all David needed to hear. He responded quickly, his hands coming to rest on her waist and pulling her roughly against him as she let out a whimper that was a mixture of surprise and pleasure, feeling his hard body pressed against hers. 

Then they were on the bed, the weight of him pinning her down against the mattress, their lips tangling together again.

David bit her bottom lip and she smiled against his mouth, bringing a hand up to grip his shoulder tightly. She cursed the robe that he had thoughtfully retrieved for her before their tryst began. Her body was on fire, and the fuzzy white fabric wasn’t helping either.

She glanced up at him in the darkness, her eyes heavy with desire as she met his lust-filled blue gazed.

She gripped the fabric of his shirt rigidly between her fingers, using it to pull him on top of her further. She had only managed to half undress him before he had lifted her onto the bed. He was still wearing his shirt and his boxers, a fact Julia intended to correct as soon as possible. 

His lips brushed over hers tenderly as she buried her face in his neck, whispering his name into the silence currently filled with heavy breathing and their panting as the moment intensified between them. 

No longer able to deny him, Julia tucked her thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, intentionally brushing against the obvious bulge she found as he lifted himself up from her body to make the task easier. She pushed the material down in one solid motion, releasing his cock, hard and heavy as it brushed against her stomach. 

She let out a contented sigh, not hesitating as she reached for him, running her palm over his cock lightly, smirking as his hips bucked into the air to meet her hand eagerly. Taking him in her palm, she admired him, pumping a few times before he let out a hiss of pleasure. 

“Enough teasing,” he rasped hotly, leaning forward and removing the black lace that still covered her. Sliding her knickers down her legs, he sat up on his knees, taking in her appearance. He might have grown even harder, if that was possible. 

Julia looked up at him, her eyes hooded with desire as he towered over her, throwing the lace somewhere behind him. Leaning over her again and pressing himself against her, she sucked in a breath. 

“Come on, David,” she murmured, her eyes closing as she felt him begin to tease her mercilessly, rubbing himself up and down against her slick folds. 

He leaned his forehead against hers as he thrust into her unexpectedly, finding her wet and ready, and she let out a gasp of surprise, biting her bottom lip as she moaned loudly. Her hand came to tangle in the hair at the back of his neck, playing with the short hair as she wrapped her legs around his waist. 

Setting the pace slowly as he thrust in and out of her again and again, David leaned his head against her neck, his mouth hanging open as the movement of his hips became faster and harder. His thumb stroked her jaw as he kissed her, never breaking his rhythm as she squeezed him tighter within her. 

Reaching his thumb down to rub gently against her clit, David watched as Julia’s eyes widened and then slammed shut from the pleasure of his discovery. He could feel the way she started to shake beneath him, her leg coming to wrap stronger around his ass as they bucked against each other. 

Her nails scraped against his back, and he shivered as he felt the contact through the thin material of his shirt. Both of them were covered in a light sheen of sweat as he pushed the robe slightly off her shoulders, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses where the terrycloth had been. 

Reaching for his jaw and redirecting him to her mouth, she recaptured his lips with her own, grinning against their kiss as she felt herself drawing closer and closer to the edge. Sensing her need, David sped up his pace, his pants becoming louder in the room as she met him thrust for thrust, taking everything he had to give. 

Letting out a sharp cry as she tumbled over the edge of her orgasm, David kissed her hard on the lips to stifle the sound as he followed behind her, emptying himself into her with a muffled moan. 

Spent, he collapsed on top of her, kissing her forehead and reclaiming a steady pattern of breathing before he rolled off of her, settling in next to her with a satisfied sigh. The words ‘I love you’ were dangerously close to spilling from his lips, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Julia, so he bit them back, settling for a soft kiss instead before he collapsed onto his back, exhausted from their lovemaking. 

The two of them laid beside each other for a long time, both of their minds racing but neither of them saying anything. David wasn’t sure what to make of her silence and his jaw clenched as he looked up at the ceiling. She had re-tied her robe around herself, suddenly feeling inexplicably self-conscious as she fiddled with the tie. David was about to say something when the weight of the bed shifted as Julia got up, moving wordlessly to the bathroom. He heard the click of the lock and winced, as if the closing door symbolized a lot more than just a physical door. 

Sitting down on the closed lid of the toilet, Julia ran a hand through her hair and buried her face in her palm. It wasn’t so much that she regretted sleeping with David, but it was more about the stress of the situation and the furor this would cause if anyone found out. 

But on the other hand, Julia felt an immense sense of relief to realize that not much had changed between them after all these years. He still made her feel like a giddy schoolgirl, silly and much less responsible than the Home Secretary ought to be. Yet, she found that when he was away from her, she craved being with him. She felt lighter than she had in years. And the sex … well, it went without saying it was just as good -- if not better -- than she remembered.

That didn’t change the fact that she was technically David’s boss. And he was her employee. She frowned. More than that though, he was the man that had saved her life and made her feel more alive than she had in months. All in one day. 

With her mind drifting back to Thornton Circus, she felt the tears began to well in her eyes again. Julia’s shoulders slumped heavily. She was so tired of crying, yet it seemed like she couldn’t stop. Wiping at her eyes with the edge of her robe, she sighed at the unwelcome emotions that were beginning to creep in again. 

She had always known she was putting herself in the line of fire by being in the spotlight … but for someone to attempt to  _ kill _ her? Julia knew she wasn’t exactly liked by a lot of people in the country … but for someone to try to shoot her? She thought of Terry and his family. And of David and his wife and kids … back to that picture she had seen on the screen of his cellphone when Vicky had called. It was one thing to put her own life in danger for her beliefs … but to risk the lives of others? That seemed unfair. 

There was a steady stream of tears falling now, and Julia sniffled, wiping at her eyes stubbornly. 

She willed herself to pull it together before she returned to bed… returned to David. But she knew he would see right through her. He always had. And the last thing she wanted was for him to see her being so emotional again. She was the Home Secretary, damnit. She had to keep it together. 

There was a knock at the door then, startling her. She jumped slightly at the unexpected sound. 

“Julia?” David asked from the other side of the door and she frowned. “Are you okay?” 

She could hear the uncertainty in his voice, and she closed her eyes, willing herself -- unsuccessfully -- to stop crying. She didn’t speak.

“Julia?” She heard him ask again.   
  


Her silence was beginning to unnerve him as he waited by the door, chewing at the inside of his cheek. When she didn’t come back to bed after disappearing a few minutes earlier, he began to worry. His hand rested against the cool metal of the door knob and he weighed the pros and cons of trying to open it without her permission. He wanted to give her space if she needed it but it was killing him to not know what was going on with her.

He pressed his ear against the door, trying to hear if there was any noise on the other side. 

Nothing. 

He waited, leaning against it. He would hate himself for a very long time if Julia regretted what had happened between them tonight. He wondered if he should have shown more resistance. If she was in too fragile a state to make any sort of decisions like the one she had. 

_ Fragile _ . David imagined her slapping him if he had said that out loud. Julia Montague was the least fragile person he had ever met. But after today …. well, that would be a lot for anyone to handle. 

He thought of the way she firmly grasped his hand in the car while they waited for the ARVs that never came. How she had clung to him like he was her lifeline. That staying with him could keep her alive. He thought of her terrified look as he climbed over the front seat, and into the back with her. If he could have stayed there, just sitting and reassuring her, he would have. But he knew the longer they sat there, the higher the risk. So he had done what he had to do to protect her. Climbed out of the car and located the threat. 

He had grimaced as he pulled Terry’s lifeless body from the driver’s seat. But his job was to protect the principal. To protect  _ Julia _ . And he had never taken his task more seriously than he did in that moment. 

Then he was on the roof. With Andy. A man he had fought alongside and considered a friend. The man that had just tried to kill the woman he loved. 

David was startled by his own thoughts.  _ The woman he …  _ He frowned. He knew, deep down, that he had always loved Julia. That he would love her until the day he took his last breath. But that didn’t make their precarious situation any easier. 

He thought of Andy’s hatred for her. The haunted look in his eye before he pulled the trigger, taking his own life. Of Craddock and Sampson, and their suspicions about Julia. And of Vicky and his kids, and how this whole situation could easily turn their lives upside down. 

But above all, he thought of Julia. The way she had relaxed into his body, letting the stress of the day slowly ebb away as he kissed and caressed her. The way she had gasped and whimpered, crying out his name as he brought her to the edge of pleasure. 

He thought about knocking one more time before giving up when her voice from the other side stopped him in his tracks, his fist hovering above the door. 

“You should probably go,” she finally said and David frowned. 

So she did regret it then. David felt his face flush, and the guilt began to settle heavily in the pit of his stomach. His hand pulled away from the door as if he had been burned. 

“You really want me to leave?” he asked lowly, his brow furrowing as he waited for her response. When she didn’t say anything, he leaned in closer to the door. 

“I’ll go if you want me to, but I’d like to see you first…” he said. “I just want to make sure you’re okay…Please... open the door.” 

Julia was standing at the door now, her hand outstretched and resting on the handle. She chewed her lip anxiously. Why was he so stubborn? Why couldn’t he just leave like she asked. She frowned. 

Julia didn’t really  _ want _ him to leave, of course. But it seemed like that would make things easier. Although none of this was easy. 

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and groaned. It was obvious she had been crying, as her eyes were tinged red and there were tell-tale rings of mascara under her eyes. She thought she looked like a very unattractive racoon. Wiping at them quickly, she moved to the sink splashing some water on her face, and drying it with a towel.

Returning to the door, she took a deep breath, and turned it. When she didn’t see him, she frowned. Walking into the bedroom, she looked around uncertainly. 

“David?” It came out softer than she meant for it to, and she rolled her eyes at herself, realizing even if he was still there, he never would have heard that. 

“David?” she called out again, louder this time. 

She let out a sigh of relief she hadn’t realized she was holding as he appeared, turning around the corner from the den. He looked nervous, but relieved to see her. 

“Hi…” she said softly, a faint smile on her lips, and David finally allowed himself to breathe normally again. 

“Hello,” he said calmly, hesitating in the doorway. 

“I thought you had left…” she said sheepishly. 

“You asked me to, didn’t you?” he reminded her and she nodded slowly. 

“Yes. Why didn’t you?” she asked curiously, moving and sitting on the edge of the bed and curling her legs underneath her. 

“I … wanted to see with my own eyes that you were okay,” he offered, moving to stand in front of her, but still keeping his distance from her in case she wanted space. “Are you? Okay, I mean?” he finally asked, bringing his hand to the back of his neck and rubbing his fingers back and forth as he looked over her.

“I was just thinking … about today,” she said slowly, beginning to fidget with the tie of her robe again. 

“Today … or tonight?” David asked vaguely as she finally met his gaze. 

“Both,” Juila answered instantly. “Tonight probably shouldn’t have happened,” she began gently and David looked away, breaking their eye contact as he nodded swiftly. 

“I see,” he said in a rush. “I’ll excuse myself then. Good night, Home Secretary.” 

His words were tumbling out before Julia could stop him to correct what he had taken her words to mean. He was already turning to walk out the door when she stopped him. 

“Wait,” she said hastily, holding out her palm to him. He turned to look at her, slightly annoyed at the unexplained change in demeanor. 

“Do you need something else, ma’am?”

“That’s not what I meant, David,” she said immediately, sighing heavily. “Just because I said it shouldn’t have happened doesn’t mean I didn’t  _ want _ it to…” she told him, motioning for him to come and sit beside her on the bed. 

David hesitated before doing as she asked, eagerly.

“I enjoyed tonight,” she told him honestly. “Very much,” she added with a bright smile as he scanned her face for any sort of remorse. He couldn’t help the smile that appeared in return, before he instantly grew serious again. 

“You’re always so serious…” Julia half-teased as she reached to caress his face and he chuckled, leaning into her hand. 

“I didn’t mean that I didn’t want tonight to happen,” she explained, her thumb stroking his jaw absently. “Only that it’s a tricky situation … with your job … and my position…” 

“I didn’t hear you complaining about  _ positions _ earlier,” he mumbled under his breath, but purposely loud enough for Julia to hear. Her eyes widened at his comment as she brushed against him, both of them beginning to laugh somewhat awkwardly. Julia felt a short burst of guilt for being able to laugh after a day like today. But then again, what better reason to laugh than because she could? She looked over at him, leaning into him so their shoulders touched as the laughter began to fade. 

“You know … you saved my life today,” she finally said, pulling the tie of the robe through her fingers distractedly as she looked down at her hands, remembering them being covered in Terry’s blood and tangling with David’s in desperation as she wondered when the next bullet was going to come for her. 

“Of course, I did, Julia…” he finally said, reaching for her hand an entwining their fingers. “I’ll always save you,” he whispered. 

Julia felt the tears began to flow for the third time since his arrival and she silently cursed herself at the rampant show of emotion she was displaying. She was usually much more stoic than this. But, at least if she had to fall apart in front of someone, it was David. 

He was watching her carefully and reached to brush away a tear as it trailed down her cheek. 

“You’re allowed to cry, love. You don’t have to be so strong all the time,” he reminded her gently, which caused the tears to flow again as she leaned forward into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders firmly, pulling her further into him as his lips brushed the top of her head. 

“Just let it out,” he murmured into her hair. “I’ve got you, Julia. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” 

Finally feeling like she didn’t have to hold back any longer, she let herself go in David’s arms, her cries wracking her body as he held her securly. His hand stroked her back lightly as he held her, whispering reassuring things at her temple as his lips skimmed over her smooth skin. 

“Do … you want me to stay with you tonight?” he asked, after her crying had mostly subsided, leaving her with a case of the hiccups. 

She sniffled as she looked up at him, her eyes red-rimmed and glassy, as she nodded. 

“Please…” she said in a small voice, suddenly feeling exhausted from what felt like a day that had gone on forever. 

“It’s settled then,” he said in agreement. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Going over to the stack of clothes Kim had brought over from Julia’s flat, he went through it until he found what he was looking for. Picking up a black silk camisole and short set, he returned to the bed and sat it down next to her, carefully pulling her to her feet. 

His eyes met hers before he reached for the tie of the robe and pulled it free, pushing the material down Julia’s body and onto the floor, leaving her standing naked in front of him. 

Keeping his eyes trained on hers, David reached for the pajama set, and grabbed the shorts, his gaze never breaking from hers as she stepped into them and he pulled them up her legs. Next, he reached for the top, watching as she lifted her arms above her head for him to put the camisole on her. 

There was something extremely intimate about him dressing her and he cleared his throat as he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on her lips. There would be plenty of time for that later, he told himself. For now, Julia needed her rest. 

Leading her toward the bed, he watched as she climbed in, leaning against the pillows with a satisfied smile. Tucking her in, he kissed her temple as he began to strip down to his boxers, turning to look at her as she let out an appreciative hum as she watched him undress. 

“Enjoying the view, Miss Montague?” he asked, brow raised and Julia giggled, nodding as her eyes began to droop closed. 

He chuckled, leaving his things in a neat pile on the yellow lounge chair in the corner of the room before he crawled into bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest protectively. 

“Good night, Julia,” he murmured, leaning down and kissing her again. 

“Good night, David… And thank you … for  _ everything _ .”

  
  


When she woke up the next morning, Julia was surprised to find David had gone while she slept. She hadn’t even heard him stir. 

Reaching for the robe on the floor by the foot of the bed, she wrapped it around herself as she padded into the open room, the tiled floor cold on her bare feet. Making her way into the kitchen, she noticed a box on the counter with a note. She couldn’t help the smile that took over her face at his words.

_ Meeting with Craddock at 8. Didn’t want to wake you. Snuck out and got you some pastries for breakfast. Milk is in the fridge. Are the donuts with the pink icing still your favorite? - D  _


	7. Necessary Precautions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I knew,” she finally whispered, her confession filling the quiet room and the silence between them heavily. 
> 
> “Knew what?” He asked in confusion, his gaze falling to her face, which now looked incredibly guilty.
> 
> Julia steeled herself for his anger, knowing it was properly justified. She had taken a huge risk not telling him about the possible threat to Heath Bank. Luckily for everyone involved, the risk had paid off. 
> 
> “I knew the name of your kids’ school because it was on a list of possible targets that Stephen Hunter-Dunn presented to me,” she explained, sitting up on the couch pulling up the throw to cover herself self-consciously as she untangled her limbs from his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so buckle up, guys. Cause this is where the timeline gets a little weird. This chapter is a combination of parts of episode 2 and 3, reworked as one sort of confrontational scene. So consider this David and Julia's second time + their argument from episode 3 + her explanation of Heath Bank, too. 
> 
> From this point on, I'll probably be going off script from the timeline of the show, so bear with me as I figure out how to make that work for our couple. 
> 
> Anyway, all that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think. :)

The ding of the lift signaled their arrival on the sixth floor. Neither of them had spoken a word since entering the small space together, the tension palpable in the air between them. 

David was angry, but he was doing his best not to let it show as they walked the halls together toward her room … their rooms. 

Adjoining rooms. If only Sampson and Craddock knew what was really going on between him and the Home Secretary... They intended for David to watch Julia, but having a room next door would only make their trysts going unnoticed a lot easier. There were only so many times he could convince Patrick to turn his head. And with the little smirk that always tugged at the guard’s lips when David appeared at Julia’s door, he had a feeling that at least one person was in on their secret already. 

He frowned and was grateful that Julia’s back was to him as she walked ahead of him to her suite. 

_ “A politician who happens to regard you as her blue-eyed boy.” _ Anne Sampson’s words echoed in his head. It was obvious people had picked up on  **something** between them…. They would have to be much more careful if things were going to continue between them. 

_ “The minister ingratiates himself with the PPO, a favor here, pulling strings there… it’s so you’ll keep their secrets, no matter what.” _

David had wanted to argue with his superior. To tell Craddock that wasn’t what this was. That Julia would never … but then Anne dropped the bomb about the Heath Bank attack and everything else faded away. 

Had she  **really** known? 

And then there was that oddly-timed remark from Mike Travis, cast offhandedly as David switched shifts with Kim earlier in the day. 

It didn’t make any more sense to him now than it did then, and he had been wracking his brain all day, trying to figure out what he could have meant. 

_ “Ah, P.S. Budd,” Mike stopped him as he was just about to leave the building. “A moment?” _

_ David took in the bespectacled man before him, wondering what he could possibly have to say to him. They had never had any type of exchange before and he felt his stomach tighten suspiciously without explanation.  _

_ “Sir?” he asked quickly. He glanced at the clock overhead in the Home Office lobby. He was supposed to be meeting with Craddock in half an hour.  _

_ He could feel Mike’s eyes on him, watching him carefully and he finally met the man’s stare as they stood in silence for a moment longer than necessary.  _

_ “I wanted to commend you on your actions at Thornton Circus,” Mike finally said, clasping his hand on David’s shoulder in a sort of proud, fatherly way. David resisted the instant urge to shrug it off.  _

_ “Just doing my job, sir,” he said flatly, watching as the man’s smile only grew.  _

_ “Yes, well it seems appropriate now that you’ve been tasked with protecting the Home Secretary after she saved you in Helmand all those years ago, doesn’t it? A sort of poetic justice.”  _

_ David’s brows furrowed.  _

_ “I’m not sure what you mean…” David said, his confusion evident as he stared at the man. Saved him? In Helmand? What was he talking about? _

_ Mike clapped his shoulder again, giving him a quick nod as David’s jaw clenched involuntarily.  _

_ “I’ve kept you long enough, Sergeant. I’m sure you have somewhere to be…” _

_ With that, he moved past David, sidestepping him as he headed for the lift. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at his ingenuity as David was left standing in his wake, still playing his words in his head.  _

_ David glanced at the clock again.  _

_ “Shit!” he mumbled under his breath as he hurried out of the office. He was going to be late. _

What a strange day. 

As they reached her room, he gave a stiff nod and a curt hello to a guard he didn’t know and scanned her key card, entering the room first. He no longer had to instruct her to stay by the door as he did his security checks, though thankfully with the added security at the Blackwood, they never needed to be as thorough as the checks at her flat had been at the start. Going into the bedroom, he flipped the light on, his gaze falling briefly to the bed as memories of their night together flashed in his head. 

The last few days had been filled with conferences and meetings, security briefings and protocol updates in light of Thornton Circus. David and Julia had barely had any time together at all. 

Returning to the living room, he found her standing in the foyer with her ministerial box at her feet. Her eyes were searching his, and his resolve hardened to not give anything away. Not until he knew more about either subject currently clouding his mind.

He didn’t know anything for sure. Sampson and Craddock could easily be lying to get him on their side to spy on Julia. 

_ “She’d been given prior intelligence it was a target. All your precious Home Secretary had to do was say the word and your kids would have been out of harm’s way, but she sat back and let it happen.”  _

Yes, he was finding more and more that Julia was a woman of many secrets. A staunch politician. David’s jaw clenched tensely. 

“Is anything the matter?” She finally spoke up, regarding him curiously. 

“No.” Short. And to the point.

She asked about his family then and David resisted the urge to question her then and there. She seemed genuine enough. And he would be hard-pressed to believe she could play the game that well if she truly was using him. 

That didn’t explain their night together though. And the way she had softened toward him since then.

But then there was Lorraine. And Anne. And Mike. What were they all playing at? He considered he might be going a bit mad being caught in the middle of this web.

“You can always come to me…” she offered softly, breaking him from his scattered thoughts.

“That would be asking you to circumvent security protocol,” he responded. He knew his answers were clipped and could tell she was growing frustrated with him. 

“Protocol.” She scoffed, picking up her cases and moving closer to him before setting them down again. “It’s your family…” She hesitated only for a moment in reassuring him. “None of the code words retrospectively associated with your family have been detected in communications with other cells on the watch list…”

So she  _ had _ been looking out for him and his family then. The niggling feeling in his stomach went back to Mike. What else had she done to protect him, he wondered.

“That’s good to know,” he said cooly. “Thank you.” 

“Is there something more?” She arched a brow, suspicious of his answer.

“No,” came his flat response.

Julia exhaled heavily, her eyes finally moving away from him. She glanced at the clock on the wall. He had been here for too long. Security would start to get suspicious. Times would be entered in charts and tongues would start to wag. And it didn’t seem like David really cared to be there much anyway, though he clearly didn’t feel comfortable telling her why. She resisted the urge to push him, to dig at whatever had made him so out of sorts. But she decided against it. After everything they had been through… he would tell her when and if he felt the time was right. Or at least she hoped he would. 

Opening the door, she leaned against it. 

“Thank you, Sargeant,” she said dryly, meeting David’s gaze again. She spoke louder than needed, ensuring the security guard would hear her from where he was stationed in the hallway. “Have a good evening.” 

And just like that, he was dismissed. David’s brow furrowed as he looked at her in confusion.

“Ma’am,” he uttered sharply, before brushing past her out the door without another word. 

Julia admittedly closed the door with more force than she meant to. But it had been a shit day — like most of them since the attempt on her life at Thornton Circus — and she really didn’t feel like dealing with David and his cryptic behavior. 

And yet.

She hadn’t meant to let on that she was keeping an eye on the watchlists for his family, though she doubted there was much harm in him knowing that. What he didn’t need to know what just how carefully she combed those lists for his name every day. And that it wasn’t the first time she had used her position to look out for him either. 

Yes, being the Home Secretary had its perks. 

_ “Special assignments, Home Secretary,” Mike Travis told her, sitting a stack of papers on her desk as he pushed his glasses up on his nose. “These are for high risk assignments, they’ll need your signature for approval.” _

_ Julia gave Mike a slight nod.  _

_ “Alright. Thanks, Mike. I’ll take a look…” she told him, her fingers coming to rub her temples and sooth away the headache that was beginning to form right above her right eye. She watched out of one eye as Mike left the office and turned her attention to the forms in front of her.  _

_ Skimming the mission and then the list of names, she was looking for one in particular, grimacing when she found it.  _

_ “Bloody hell, David,” she murmured under her breath, reading the assignment for a second time. This was the third time this month she had found his name listed on the roster for his battalion’s short list of candidates for dangerous missions.  _

_ She bit her bottom lip in frustration.  _

_ The first time she had seen his name listed, she felt like it had sucked the air out of her lungs. Mike had been with her then and had looked at her curiously as she coughed to cover the noise of alarm she had made. It was during her first month in the Home Office and the blast from the past threw her off her game more than she cared to admit.  _

_ She had thought of David often since that day in his flat… when things ended so badly. And she replayed the day she had come back to apologize, to try to make peace with him, only to find him gone. _

_ But to see his name right there in print in front of her. To know he was still fighting overseas, even after all this time… it seemed like too much for her heart to handle.  _

_ Making a phone call, she had requested files on David, adding in a few of his fellow soldiers as not to rouse any sort of suspicion from any of the military personnel she was questioning. It was sneaky behavior for the newly appointed Home Secretary, but it was a risk she was willing to take if she could save him. _

_ “Just routine checks,” she had said passively when a commanding officer questioned the request. “Just checking details as she took over the job as Home Secretary,” she told him. He had no reason to guess she was looking for history on a certain soldier stationed in Helmand and had granted her all the access she needed. _

_ She was crestfallen to find out that David had already been through a number of dangerous situations, even getting caught in an IED blast that took out half of his convoy. She read, with her stomach in knots, how he had been cared for in hospital with his unit and returned to the battlefield only two weeks later, against the advice of his doctors. That sounded like David. But this … the file on her desk detailed the most dangerous mission yet. Of course he had been the first to volunteer. _

_ “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” she wondered aloud, striking a large red X beside his name on the form. No. This was where she drew the line. _

_ Rejected.  _

_ She glanced at her watch, knowing her daily itinerary meeting was set to begin in five minutes. Getting up, she placed the files on the corner of her desk for Mike to collect and send through the appropriate channels. She glanced again at the red X on the top of the list before leaving her office and going to the conference room. _

_ When she returned an hour later, the short stack of requests had been collected. She had thought about David throughout her meeting, finding it hard to focus on much else as she feared for his safety and for his life. No, she couldn’t lose him. Not again. Not like that. Reaching for her phone, she placed a call.  _

_ The Lieutenant was surprised to hear from her and even more surprised when she asked about the procedure to have one of his soldiers sent home. She was prepared for his confusion and his anger, having made sure her facts were backed up by what she had seen in David’s military file. His lengthy service career and the sacrifices he had made as a soldier were admirable, but he was no longer needed with his unit. He should be able to return home to his life in London -- whatever that may look like. _

_ As she hung up the phone, she felt rather pleased with herself. She may not have been able to keep David from enlisting and subsequently serving in Helmand 10 years ago, but she would be sure to protect him in any way that she could now.  _

_ She fought the temptation to dig deeper into David’s life, to find all she could about him, but then she reminded herself that nothing could come of it. That was a chapter of her life that was closed, whether she liked it or not.  _

Looking back on the memory, Julia let herself briefly consider how things could have been different. If she had gone to him and told him what she had done, would they have ended up together sooner? Or would he have only been angry that she dictated his life again? 

Knowing the fiery David Budd she had fallen for all those years ago, she was almost sure it would surely be the latter. 

She thought about his confession when he told her about Vicky, and how she had convinced him to stay home for their kids. She felt a pang of guilt deep in her stomach then. She had so much she needed to tell him. About what was going on with the security service. Her suspicions about Vosler. About Heath Bank. She needed to come clean about all of it. Even if it meant losing him. 

Her eyes drifted toward the door of their adjoining room, then to the entrance to her suite. When she had been told he would be moving in next door, she had pretended to be angry about the lack of privacy that provided for her, but in all reality, she couldn’t deny where her mind went first. Clandestine meetings in a posh five-star hotel certainly seemed thrilling and sexy. And she hadn’t had anything like that in her life in so long. 

It wasn’t that she was a prude, that she never met men. But once they got one good look at her and recognized who she was, they usually ran in the other direction. The few that did bulk up their courage to pursue her anyway usually couldn’t deal with her long hours and brash attitude. 

But David … he was different. He always had been. 

Moving toward the door, she hesitated, not sure what she would find on the other side. Running a hand through her curls nervously, she willed herself to just open the door and let whatever was going to happen happen. 

The cold metal of the lock on her fingers almost made her come to her senses. Almost made her turn and walk away from the door to busy herself with something else. But she couldn’t. 

Hearing the echo of the lock as it clicked into place, she turned the handle slowly, not realizing she was holding her breath. 

David was angry. At her dismissal. At her attitude. But more than anything, he was angry about the gut feeling that told him what Sampson had said earlier was true. And at the certainty that she was keeping so much from him.

He might not have known what Mike Travis was getting at earlier, but Julia had  **known** his kids were at risk. And she didn’t say a word to him. She didn’t say a word to anyone. 

He thought back to her meetings leading up to the Heath Bank attack. Stephen Hunter-Dunn had been in and out of her office a number of times leading up to the day, and David’s eyes narrowed as he tried to remember any details that stuck out in his mind about those meetings. 

He had only watched from a distance, but his eyes had met Julia’s across the way numerous times while she was with Stephen. She quickly looked away each time, and David had assumed it was all to keep a professional veneer, but … There must have been something more. 

Entering his room, he began to remove his gear. First his earpiece, followed by his jacket and his holster. He cocked his head to the side, listening for any sound of movement from next door. He was met with silence. 

Removing his tie, he pulled it quickly from his collar, popping the first two buttons of his shirt open. He needed to talk to Julia. That was the only way they were going to move past whatever this was. He needed her to be honest with him. And in all fairness, he needed to be honest with her. About Andy. About the spying. 

Moving toward the door that separated their rooms, he raised his hand, pulling it away as if he had been burned and clenching it into a fist just as quickly. Was this really a road he wanted to go down with her? 

He held his fist to his mouth, trying to sort out his emotions as he turned away from the door. Maybe he should just let it be for tonight. Give them both time to cool off and sort things out for themselves. 

There wasn’t much that got to him these days, but his kids and Julia seemed to be at the top of the list. He was about to call it a night, to crawl into bed and force himself to sleep when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door. The clack of her heels gave her away and David frowned. She was ** right ** there. As if he had conjured her with his thoughts alone. 

He took a step closer to the door, the muscles of his body stiffening as he waited for her to make the first move. 

There was a click as the door unlocked, and he watched as the handle depressed, proving she certainly was right on the other side of the door. And then it was open, swinging back to reveal Julia on the other side. If she was surprised that he was there waiting for her, it didn’t show. Her face was blank as she met his gaze steadily, her hand still on the door as they stood there, analyzing each other for a moment longer than what would be considered normal. 

He took in her appearance, the way her wide brown eyes stared at him, her chest rising and falling heavily with every breath she took. Her lips were parted as she watched him and he hated to admit that in that moment, he wanted her. Badly. Secrets be damned.

He moved closer. One step. Then two. Then three. His nostrils flared as he stared at her, moving in so they were only inches apart. He wondered how this woman could equally infuriate him and turn him on beyond measure. 

Her eyes finally looked away from him, and he watched, smirking smugly as her gaze fell from his eyes to his lips and then back again. David knew in that moment that she felt the same way. He wasn’t even sure who had made the first move, but then her soft lips were on his, her palm pressed to his face as she pulled him in closer to her body, feeling every inch of it pressed against her. His hand came to her waist, holding her there as Julia let out a quick moan of approval. 

He was a goner. 

He felt, instead of saw, her hands at the waistband of his trousers, never breaking their kiss as he steered her backwards into her suite. Everything was a blur as he kicked off his shoes and pushed her blazer from her body, letting it fall to the floor without consequence. She kicked off her heels as her hands reached for the button of his pants, purposefully brushing against his erection. She grinned knowingly as he sucked in a sharp breath at her touch, hardening beneath her palm and the friction she was causing as she stroked him slowly, biting the inside of her cheek as her eyes traveled down to where her palm rested. 

They were standing in the middle of the living room now, still having yet to exchange a word between them since she opened the door to his adjoining room. 

David pulled her into another hot, hard kiss as he reached for her wrist, stilling the motion of her hand. Instead, he led her back to the waistband of his trousers, taking her bottom lip between his teeth and biting down as she began to unbutton and unzip the offending article of clothing. 

Julia gasped in surprise at his roughness. This would be nothing like the first time only a few nights before. Letting out a hum of approval, she felt her lips swelling from the pressure of his kisses against her mouth, as she reached for the fabric of his pants, pushing them away from his hips until they fell into a heap on the floor. 

She stepped backward over her blazer, her eyes traveling south as she admired her prize. David stepped out of the pants that joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor, taking a step closer to her as his eyes scanned the room. 

The bedroom was too far, and David was tired of waiting. Glancing around, his eyes fell to the desk where their first tryst had started earlier that week. Deciding to take advantage of the set up, David grasped her hips in his large, masculine hands and steered her across the room until she backed into the desk. 

She let out a noise of surprise as she bumped into into the hard surface behind her, the edge hitting her ass. Julia finished unbuttoning his shirt, yanking it off of his body with his help as his hands seemed to touch her everywhere. 

She glanced down at David’s bulletproof vest, and decided it wasn’t worth the time to figure out how to undo the unfamiliar Kevlar. But she wanted to taste his skin, and badly, she so ghosted her lips across the strong line of his shoulder over the vest, feeling the fire beginning to surge low in her belly. 

The fire was only stoked as David gripped her neck strongly, pulling her into him and claiming her lips greedily with his own. Moving from her mouth, he trailed kisses across her cheek, settling behind her ear as he kissed at a spot he knew she particularly enjoyed as his hands trailed to the button on her trousers. 

He leaned down, ridding her of the offensive item of clothing, his rough fingers brushing over her bare thighs. Julia missed his lips on hers instantly and pulled him back to her quickly, grasping his shoulders as she kissed him. Their harsh breathing against one another’s mouth was the only noise that filled the room as David pushed her against the desk again, lifting her in his strong grasp and setting her on top of it. 

Shedding his own boxers, he reached for Julia, pushing her black silk knickers aside as he left a trail of hot, open mouthed kisses against the skin of her neck, nuzzling into her. 

“My job … your job … it just complicates everything,” she panted hotly. He thrust into her unexpectedly then and she let out a loud cry of pleasure as she felt him fill her completely. 

“Nothing complicates my job,” he countered, gripping her shoulders tightly as he thrust into her again, slightly lifting her from the edge of the desk. “It’s to protect you.”

She was wrapped tightly around his body now, her thighs digging into his bare ass as they bucked wildly against one another. She thought she might come just from hearing the way he fiercely corrected her. 

Julia met him thrust for thrust, her hand coming to tangle in his curls as she bit her lip to keep from crying out too loudly. For all the guard outside her door knew, David had returned to his room for the night as they each wound down from their chaotic day. 

David’s hand reached down between them, stroking her slowly as he pushed in and out of her at an agonizingly slow pace. 

“David…” she said in a warning tone, her eyes slamming shut as she threw her head back from the slow burn building inside her. 

“Ma’am?” He asked with a wolfish grin. He felt her legs begin to tremble around him and he picked up the pace without hesitation, knowing she was close. 

“Open your eyes, Julia,” he whispered in her ear, loving the way goosebumps appeared on her skin. “I want to see you when I make you come.” 

Julia did as instructed, staring into his eyes and holding tightly to his shoulders as her body stilled, feeling the flash of white, hot orgasm taking over. Her body convulsed around him as she leaned into him. She cried out his name and David pulled away, kissing her as he strongly held her face to his, following closely behind and emptying himself into her with a satisfied grunt. 

His legs felt weak as he lifted her from the desk, her thighs still wrapped around his body. He carried her to the couch where he settled down, pulling her down on top of him. He grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch, tossing it over them both haphazardly as their skin cooled from their heated encounter, both flushed and sweaty. 

They lay tangled and half-dressed in each other’s arms for a long time, bodies pressed together as they each worked to catch their breath, coming down from their high. Julia’s head rested against David’s chest, feeling it rise and fall with every breath he took. 

Her eyes were closed while her nails traced a steady path over the strong muscles of his arms where they were wrapped around her body tightly. 

She found herself replaying his words over and over again before. He had to know about Heath Bank. It was the only thing that could have made him this upset. He must have found out. She didn’t know how. But he had. She knew she owed him the truth, but she was finding it a hard pill to swallow now that they … 

_ Now that we what, Julia?  _ She asked herself. There was hardly any excuse for keeping it from him any longer.

“I knew,” she finally whispered, her confession filling the quiet room and the silence between them heavily. 

“Knew what?” He asked in confusion, his gaze falling to her face, which now looked incredibly guilty.

Julia steeled herself for his anger, knowing it was properly justified. She had taken a huge risk not telling him about the possible threat to Heath Bank. Luckily for everyone involved, the risk had paid off. 

“I knew the name of your kids’ school because it was on a list of possible targets that Stephen Hunter-Dunn presented to me,” she explained, sitting up on the couch pulling up the throw to cover herself self-consciously as she untangled her limbs from his.

David frowned, turning his head to watch her as she fiddled with the edge of the throw. He felt a flash of sudden anger and surprise at her confession. Anne had been telling the truth. He had been a fool.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Julia? You could have warned me.” His tone was measured and low.

“I know. And I should have. But we didn’t even know if it was a credible threat. I didn’t forewarn you, or any one else for that matter … due to the fact the threat was non-specific. We’re still not clear as to why Heath Bank was singled out. ”

“Oh, I think that’s pretty clear, don’t you?” he asked hotly, watching her in his peripheral vision as his eyes moved around the room. He was afraid if he looked at her, the overwhelming emotions he was feeling would spill out and he might say something he would regret. 

Julia reached for his arm, flinching and feeling the sting of rejection as he pulled away from her.

“If we had alerted the attackers that we knew of the threat, they might have changed course,” she tried to explain half-heartedly. “We used our available resources to make sure nothing happened to the children … to your children…” 

“I could have lost them. I —“ he stopped short, his emotions getting the best of him. “Those kids are the best thing I’ve ever done with my life, Julia ... if anything ever happened to them...” 

Julia could see the tears welling up in his eyes and she blinked back her own quickly. 

“We took the necessary precautions. We made sure your children and their classmates were safe. I ordered ARVs to deploy near all schools identified as being at risk … and thanks to that measure, no school children came to any harm.”

David breathed a sigh of relief, glad at least that the secret was out in the open. But he couldn’t deny the sense of betrayal he felt at how she had blatantly lied to him.

“Necessary precautions?” He repeated, his jaw clenching. “Julia, I hate this.” 

Pulling her legs up to her chest, David briefly thought that she resembled a petulant child. How she reminded him of Ella when she didn’t want to talk about something. 

“David … there are parts of this job … that I can’t always share with you,” she said quietly, looking up and meeting his eyes as she chewed her bottom lip. 

At her words, he felt a sharp pang of guilt in his stomach. He was keeping secrets, too. It hardly seemed fair to berate her for the exact same thing he was doing. He pushed the feeling away.

“I know that, Julia,” he said tersely. Realizing his tone, he softened, reaching for her hand. “Just … don’t lie to me anymore, okay?” 

Julia nodded slowly. 

“All is forgiven?” She asked, a shy smile pulling at the corner of her lips. 

David leaned forward, placing a kiss on her temple. 

“Aye,” he said quietly, pulling her into his arms as they leaned back into the sofa, closing their eyes. “All is forgiven.” 


	8. A Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bloody hell, Julia, did you do it?” 
> 
> Julia pushed the folder back into his chest, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. 
> 
> “I don’t know what you expect me to say, David,” she said evenly. “It’s written right there in the file. Obviously, I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Finally back with this one. I was writing in advance, but I caught up with myself. So it took me a little longer to crank this out. 
> 
> This one is equal parts fluff and angst, so I hope it was worth the wait.

David didn’t want to play the “hero card.” 

He didn’t even consider himself a hero, despite the praise his superiors had heaped on him every chance they got. He had tried to argue that the two times he had “saved” anyone, he was only doing his job. First on the train and then at Thornton Circus. But apparently that didn’t matter. 

So, David “the hero” Budd sat across from his superior, hands clasped together tightly in his lap, his jaw clenched. The room was silent, save for blaring horns and traffic sounds filtering up from the street below. David’s unusual request weighed heavily in the air between them. 

He watched as Lorraine considered him for a moment over the edge of her desktop computer. 

“Your personnel file?” She repeated in surprise. 

David shrugged his shoulder non-committedly. 

“It’s silly really,” he began to explain. “My wife —” he hesitated for a minute before pushing through. “Vicky and I are having an argument about my time over in Helmand…” 

He sighed heavily, mostly just for impact. 

“She won’t let it go, ma’am.” He continued. “Swears she’s right and I’m wrong. I figured if I could get my hands on my military personnel file … I could settle it once and for all.” He gave a short chuckle. “Prove I’m right, you know?” 

Lorraine smirked, shaking her head as she unknowingly bought right into the tale David had been weaving in his mind over the last couple of days. He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that Mike had planted some sort of knowledge on purpose, and he needed to know what it was.

“Ah, the joy of marriage, P.S. Budd,” she said, lowering her voice in a conspiratorial tone as she leaned forward. 

David nodded, forcing a smile. This sort of behavior with Lorraine Craddock went against every instinct he had. But the more he thought about the offhand comment, the more it had baffled him. 

He had a sinking feeling in his gut about it. 

“I’ll see what I can do, David,” she said, making a note in the pad on her desk. “How are things going with the Home Secretary?” She asked without looking up. 

David’s stomach jolted and his eyes widened, but he covered his reaction quickly before meeting Craddock’s gaze across the wide mahogany desk. 

“I… how’s it going, ma’am?” He repeated, faltering slightly. 

Lorraine stared at him blankly, not covering her frustration well.

“Have you found out anything else about what’s going on with the Home Secretary and Stephen Hunter-Dunn?” She asked, her brow furrowed. “Anne Sampson is determined to figure out what they’re up to.”

“Oh. That…” David said, looking out the window and fixating on a billboard for some show called ‘Six’currently running in the West End. He stared at it for a moment longer before he turned his attention back to his boss. “No ma’am, I have nothing new to report…” 

“Ah, well, keep at it, David. We need to know what she’s up to. She’s a very dangerous woman.” 

David nodded, getting to his feet and feeling rather uncomfortable with the conversation all of a sudden. 

“Is that all, ma’am?” He asked and Lorraine gave him a quick nod. 

“Yes. I’ll keep you posted about the file you requested.”

As David made his way downstairs, giving a nod to Kim and Tom in passing, he thought about Julia. And what a mess this was all becoming. He was beginning to feel like there was something in the universe determined to keep them apart. It was a cruel twist of fate that the two of them had found their way back to each other, only to have this chasm of secrets lying between them. 

He and Julia had spent the weekend lounging around her suite at the Blackwood. Their time together had been filled with binging Netflix, bubble baths, making love and room service in bed. In that particular order.

There was clearly an elephant in the room, but they both avoided mentioning it, never addressing it after Julia’s post-coital confession about Heath Bank. 

There were so many times he had wanted to ask her what Mike meant. Wanted to come clean about everything else, too, but he didn’t want to jump to any sort of conclusion without having the means to back it up.

They were laying in bed early sunday morning with sheets wrapped loosely around their naked bodies as they cuddled together, Julia leaning back into him as he wrapped a tan, muscled arm around her bare shoulder. 

She let out a satisfied hum as her head fell back, resting against his chest that was still heaving as they each caught their breath from their early morning tryst as the sun rose over the city. 

David opened his mouth and closed it several times, trying to build up the nerve for the conversation he knew they needed to have. 

“Do you have something to share with the class, Mr. Budd?” she asked, her eyes still closed as she giggled a bit. 

David frowned. 

“What?” He asked, not sure of her meaning. 

“You seemed like you had something you wanted to say…” Julia murmured, looking back at him over her shoulder. 

David took in her appearance then, the way her eyes crinkled a tiny bit when she looked at him, and the way the corners of her lips turned up into a smile as she regarded him wordlessly. If he looked closely enough, he could see a scar on her chin that was usually well-hidden with make-up in the public eye. She’d gone over the handlebars of her bike when she was 8. It had left her with a scar that had gradually faded over time, and a deep mistrust of bicycles he had often teased her about when they first got together. 

“Okay, if you won’t say it, I will,” she said matter-of-factly, turning back so that her head lolled against his body again, the picture of utter relaxation. “Let’s go somewhere…” Her words were quiet and David stared down at the top of her head. 

“Where do you want to go?” He asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. “You don’t have anything on your agenda for today, so if you want to go out for a bit, I’ll have to call in…” He started to move from the bed to make arrangements for the car to pick her up. 

“Not today,” she said laughing as she sat up, leaning on an elbow as she turned to face him. “I mean like go away,” she told him, pulling the sheet up around her body as she readjusted, leaning against her pillow. 

_Oh. _

David chewed at his lip for a minute, watching her curiously. 

“And where exactly would you like to go … ma’am?” He finally asked, not missing the spark of mischievousness he could have sworn he saw cross her face. Just as quickly, it was gone. 

“I want to go…” she reached for his hand, taking it in her own, intertwining his fingers with hers. “Somewhere where I can hold your hand in public … and not care who sees us.” Her words were whispered as she looked down at the interlocked fingers. “I don’t know where that is,” she offered with a small shrug. “But I want to go there.”

David felt himself soften at her sentiment, forgetting momentarily about the stress of everything else going on. 

“Julia, I --” He stopped, not sure what to say. 

“Let’s go back to Scotland,” she suggested, looking up at him with wide eyes. “It’s been so long since I’ve been… we could rent a cottage away from the village like we did when you took me before.”

“Do you remember that trip?” she asked in a child-like voice and David nodded quickly. 

“Of course,” he said with a smile. “You made me take you around to all of the places I grew up in Elderslie… I remember thinking that had to be the most boring tour,” he said with a laugh. 

Julia shook her head in response. 

“No, I loved it. I loved getting to see what made you you…” she told him with a soft smile. 

“People will recognize you in Scotland,” he reminded her, reaching out and stroking her face with his fingertips. “You have a pretty face. People notice.” 

Julia laughed. 

“Is that why people notice me?” She asked, a slight blush beginning to color her cheeks. 

“I’ll wear a hat and sunglasses or something … or we could avoid going into public,” she continued. David thought he noticed her hesitate before she spoke again. “Would it be such a bad thing … for people to recognize us together?” She asked, peering up at him with questioning eyes. 

David was surprised by the question. 

“What are you saying, Julia?” He asked, his brow furrowing. 

“I’m saying maybe I don’t care if they see us,” she said, flopping back onto the bed. “The sneaking around was fun at first … sexy, even… but I just want to live my life, David. Is that such a bad thing?” 

David’s brow furrow. He had no idea where any of this was coming from. 

“Not a bad thing… just surprising, that’s all.”

Julia suddenly looked self-conscious.

“Is that what you want, David?” She asked, sounding unsure of herself now. “How do you feel about jumping into this circus with me?” 

“There’s a lot to think about … the press will be all over Vicky and the kids…” 

“Yes. Of course,” she replied quickly. He didn’t miss the look of disappointment that crossed Julia’s face. David instantly felt guilty. 

“You didn’t let me finish, love. Let me talk to Vicky … and I’m in. I want to at least give her a heads up about it. Do you think we can set some ground rules with the press?”

Julia’s face lit up when she realized what he was saying. 

“We can arrange all of that,” she said nodding. She smiled, settling into his embrace. She couldn’t help the feeling of pleasure that settled into her chest at his agreement. The words slipped from her lips before she could stop them. 

“I love you, David Nathaniel Budd…” she said softly, looking up at him from where she rested against his bare chest. “You know that, don’t you?”

“I love you, too, Julia Elizabeth Montague,” he replied, leaning down and kissing her before he shifted their position, rolling on top of her as Julia let out a soft moan, feeling his body pressed hard against hers. 

  
  


Their bubble of happiness was short lived as David received the report he had asked for from Lorraine a few days later. He had shoved the folder into his bag to read when he returned to the Blackwood. And now he found himself stretched across his bed, his eyes pouring over the file, he noticed the stamp of rejection on one of the last missions he had asked to be assigned to. He was sent home shortly after, his commanding officer offering his growing family as the reason for the end of his service. 

He felt his breath catch as he looked over his discharge papers. 

It was there written in black and white. 

_Requested by Home Secretary Julia Montague. _

David frowned and re-read the sentence a second time and then a third. What had she done? 

Shoving himself off the bed, he was pushing through the door that separated their rooms before he could collect his thoughts or his anger. She turned, surprised at the intrusion as she looked up from her ministerial box and the files she had been perusing. 

“Hello to you, too,” she said with a laugh that faded as she saw the look on his face. “What’s wrong?” She asked quickly, her eyes falling to the folder he was clutching in a clenched fist. 

“What the hell is this?!” He asked, his tone accusing.

Julia didn’t flinch. 

“I don’t know,” she said, standing from the desk she sat behind and crossing the room to stand in front of him. “But I assume you’re about to tell me.” 

“Cut the bullshit, Julia,” David said sharply and Julia frowned. “Did you have me sent home from Helmand?” He asked lowly, shoving the folder at her. 

“Ah. That.” Julia frowned, taking the file from him and glancing over the page that had made him so angry. 

“How did you get this?” She asked suddenly, wondering how long he had been suspicious of her. 

“That’s your response?” He asked incredulously, his accent deepening with his anger. “Bloody hell, Julia, did you do it?” 

Julia pushed the folder back into his chest, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. 

“I don’t know what you expect me to say, David,” she said evenly. “It’s written right there in the file. Obviously, I did.” 

In that moment, David felt completely and utterly betrayed. He felt the breath leave his lungs as he stared at her. He had been betrayed by the one person he thought he could trust more than anyone. 

“You had me sent home like a was a child!” He cried out angrily. “Like you were my mum looking out for me!” 

“I just wanted to keep you safe, David,” Julia said, trying to keep her tone level as she began to pace the room. 

“You didn’t get to decide,” he reminded her, his eyes flashing dangerously as he looked at her. “You lost all right to decide the moment you walked out the door of my flat and didn’t look back.”

His words stung, and Julia stepped closer to him. 

“And what was I supposed to do? Let you get killed?!” She argued, feeling the prickling of tears in her eyes as she stubbornly willed them not to fall. 

“That wasn’t up to you!” He said, taking a step back and pointing his finger at her accusingly. “You signed on the dotted line. You didn’t care what that meant for the men over there.” 

She opened her mouth to speak and David shook his head. 

“Those were my _friends_ over there. I sat back and I watched them die.” 

His tone was broken then and he brought a hand to his face. 

“They died and I got to live because the Home Secretary thought it was her job to babysit me. What the fuck, Julia? That was a power play and you know it.”

Julia sighed heavily. 

“Yes, it was. But I had that power, David. Was I supposed to sit back and just watch all these special missions pile up on my desk with your name at the top of the list?” 

Her frustration was quickly turning to anger the longer this argument went on. 

“You know what, David? You can piss off. You got to come home to your wife and your family. I won’t apologize for that. You’re here with me now, and I’m not sorry for what I did. I was protecting you.” 

David’s jaw clenched, and he felt like he had been punched in the gut as the realization washed over him.

“It’s always gonna be like this, innit?” He asked, turning to look out the window of her suite. “You making me think I’m in control… but you’re the one holding all the cards here.” 

He shook his head, turning to look at her again as she softened.

“David…” she began.

“I … I can’t do this, Julia,” he said, shaking his head ruefully. “This is too much … I need some time to think.” 

“Please don’t turn out to be another bloke who can’t handle a woman having more power…” 

The words were harsh, but she had too much experience to prove otherwise. Women in positions of power scared men. She had just never thought David was one of them. She should have known their reunion was too good to be true.

David hesitated at the door, turning to look over his shoulder at her.

“Be careful who you trust, Julia…” He said the words before he could stop them and closed his eyes, wishing he hadn’t. 

“What the bloody hell does that mean?” She asked, her tone rising sharply. 

In that moment, David wasn’t sure if he had said it because it truly slipped out or if he wanted her to feel the same hurt and betrayal that he was feeling. 

“Craddock and Sampson … they hired me on purpose,” he told her slowly, turning to face her. “They were having me spy on you. Reporting back to them.” 

Julia’s jaw dropped. She was utterly speechless for the first time in a long time. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to formulate a thought. 

“David.” The way she said his name made him flinch. “You didn’t… please tell me you didn’t.” 

A single tear made its way down her cheek, though Julia wasn’t sure if it was a tear of anger or sadness.

“Leave.” 

David’s brow furrowed as he looked at her, noting what he thought might be disgust on her face. He thought about arguing with her. Telling her that he didn’t want to do it. That they had blackmailed him. But he held his tongue.

“Whatever you’re up to with Hunter-Dunn, cut it out,” he advised and Julia rolled her eyes. “It’s a dangerous game you’re playing here, Julia.

Julia’s eyes narrowed. “I see. So only one of us is allowed to micromanage the other. And it’s certainly not me. Noted.” 

She wanted to ask him for details. Wanted to question if that was the only reason he had stayed. If his “mission” had been the only reason he fell back into her bed and into her life after all. But then she realized she might not want to know the answer. So she said nothing. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment in silence. 

“I believe I asked you to leave, Sargeant Budd,” Julia said flatly. “Good night.” 

“Ma’am,” David replied, grateful for the dismissal. Turning, he strode from the room, slamming the door behind him. 

As she heard the lock click into place behind him, Julia reached for the first thing she could find, hurling a paperweight at the door and letting out a shriek of frustration before she began to cry. 

David heard a thud against the door and had to strongly resist every urge in his body to open the door and check on her. But he couldn’t let go of the anger. Julia could have her temper tantrum without an audience. 

The more he thought about the situation, he wondered if his reaction had been justified. His discharge had been a long time ago … but for him to have been so wrapped up in Julia and for her to never tell him … to find out from Mike Travis … that stung. 

Three days ago, he had been starting to plan a future with Julia. And now, he wasn’t sure what the hell they were doing anymore. 


	9. Chequers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re doing it, aren’t you?” He asked slowly, the realization dawning on him. “You’re making a run for Number 10…” 
> 
> Julia sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you, David…” she said softly, her gaze finally meeting his own. “But if I have this chance … and I don’t take it… I can add it to the things I think I would regret for the rest of my life…” 
> 
> David opened his mouth to speak and closed it again.
> 
> “Does Vosler know you’re coming?” He asked curiously, merging back on to the backcountry road. Julia couldn’t help the laugh that slipped from her lips. 
> 
> “He has no idea.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all of the sweet comments you've left on this story, the last chapter in particular. You guys really do keep me writing with all of your kind words. 
> 
> This chapter should have a good balance of everything, for everyone asking. Some brutal honesty, some resolution and some hotness at the end. Note: It's not Poundtown, but I think it does the trick. ;) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! :)

Julia leaned closer to the mirror, applying another coat of concealer under her eyes to cover the dark bags that had formed there in the last 12 hours. Honestly, she felt like shit. 

She had tossed and turned all night, and thought she might have only gotten a full hour of sleep. Two at most. Between the lack of sleep and the crying … well, it was going to be a long day.

_ Come on, Julia. This meeting is important. Pull yourself together.  _

She chuckled sardonically as her pep talk to herself fell uncharacteristically flat. 

Applying the rest of her make-up, she leaned in closer to the mirror as david’s words played over and over again in her head. 

_ “You didn’t get to decide. You lost all right to decide the moment you walked out the door of my flat and didn’t look back.” _

She should have seen the warning signs from the beginning. They fell apart once already, why would they make it work now? There was a part of her that wished David had never been assigned to her. That he had never fallen into her life and into her bed again the way that he had. But there was another part of her, her heart, that wondered if it was better to have experienced that love again, to have opened herself up to that, even if it meant losing it again in the long run. 

Julia prided herself on being a smart woman. But when it came to David Budd, the lines always seemed to get a bit blurry. Her heart seemed to speak louder than her head. It always had. 

_ “What do you mean you want to take me to Scotland?” She asked, staring at him blankly as she dropped her chopsticks into the takeout container she was holding in her hand.  _

_ David watched her reaction, stifling a laugh at her apparent surprise.  _

_ “I mean … I want to take you to Scotland with me,” he repeated with a chuckle. “I just think it would be nice to get away before I start my training and we both know you could use a vacation.You’ve had so much going on at the firm lately.”  _

_ Sitting his Chinese food on the coffee table in front of the couch, he turned to look at her questioningly.  _

_ “Unless you think it’s a bad idea… or don’t want to go,” he added quickly. “I totally get that.” _

_ Julia toyed with one of the chopsticks, twisting it idly between her fingers as she chewed at her lip thoughtfully.  _

_ “It’s not that I don’t want to,” she reassured him. “ I just … don’t you think that’s moving a bit quickly, David?” She asked, looking up at him with wide eyes. “We’ve only known each other for a month…” she reasoned.  _

_ David grinned. Always logical. Always a barrister. He spoke again before he could think about the words coming from his lips.  _

_ “It’s a vacation, Julia,” he said softly. “Not a marriage proposal.”  _

_ They both blushed at his words and Julia looked away as David cleared his throat uncomfortably. He didn’t know why he had said that.  _

_ “No, I know that!” she protested quickly, trying to collect herself. Then softened. “Would I …” she hesitated, chewing over the words before they spilled out. “Would I meet your family?” She asked nervously and David frowned. That explained her hesitation. _

_ “If you wanted to, you could … though I’ve never exactly brought a girl home before,” he confessed. “But if not, we could stay somewhere else. Find a nice bed n’ breakfast somewhere. Just relax for the weekend, you an’ me.” _

_ His response seemed to mollify Julia, though he had to admit he rather liked the idea of introducing her to his family at some point. He had never felt this way about a woman before. And the idea both thrilled and terrified him.  _

_ The truth was that Julia was scared, too. She hadn’t even known David for that long, and had never expected some casual fling in a bar to turn into this. She was frightened by how intensely she felt things for the man sitting in front of her. Passion … desire … love, even.  _

_ Even just the thought scared her.  _

_ “Let’s go,” she finally said, throwing caution to the wind. “We can rent a place to stay and go from there,” she said with a soft smile, leaning forward to kiss him gently.  _

_ David smiled brightly against her lips. _

_ “Aye. I hoped you would say that,” he murmured, his mouth still pressed against her. Reaching for the remainder of her dinner and placing it on the coffee table, he lowered her onto the couch, placing himself on top of her. Julia looked up at him with wide eyes as her gaze met his and she smiled as he kissed her again, his intentions for the rest of the night very clear.  _

_ Her head told her they needed to slow down and be a bit more cautious, but her heart wanted her to give every part of herself to this man.  _

_ And it seemed like her heart was winning.  _

  
  


Breaking from the memory, Julia gave herself a quick glance-over in the bathroom mirror. Her fingers lightly traced the thin gold chain she was still wearing around her neck. She had debated taking it off after her argument with David, the memories seeming like too much to deal with in the moment. But she had decided against it. She examined her make-up, determining it was satisfactory, and glanced over the fitted black suit she had donned that morning. The fabric of a purple lace blouse underneath peaked out from between the lapels of her jacket. She ran a hand quickly through her curls.

_ Not too shabby, all things considered.  _

Finally having herself put together, she let her mind drift to what she had been dreading since she had opened her tired, swollen eyes that morning. Seeing David. 

Almost as if on cue, there was a knock at the door and Julia took a deep breath, gathering her belongings. Picking up her briefcase in one hand and her ministerial box in the other, she let out a shaky exhale as she opened the door to her suite, as prepared as she could be to come face-to-face with him after last night. 

She stopped short as she finally looked up. It wasn’t David. Julia tried to hide her surprise as she came face-to-face with Kim Knowles instead. 

“Kim?” The woman’s name came out more a question than a greeting and Julia cursed herself for being so transparent. 

“Morning, ma’am,” Kim said with a quick nod as Julia moved past her down the hall. 

Julia glanced sideways at the door to David’s room as they passed, her mind rapid-firing with a myriad of questions. 

Where was David? Could he really not face her after last night? She knew he had said he needed time, but she had assumed he meant one night … 

Her mind seemed to jump to the worst possible conclusion as she wondered if he was already in Lorraine’s office, asking for a new assignment. One that wasn’t the cold, emotionless Home Secretary that everyone talked about behind her back. 

Her brow furrowed as they waited for the lift to arrive, glancing up at the sound of the ding as the doors opened. She and Kim entered wordlessly, the two standing wordlessly beside each other in the lift, much like she and David had done over the past several weeks. 

Julia almost had to physically bite her tongue to stop herself from asking questions. That would be suspicious. And the last thing she needed was Kim figuring out there was something going on between her and David. Past  _ and _ present. 

A thought occurred to her and she felt her blood run cold at the idea. Did she and David still have a present?

Just then the doors opened again and she and Kim stepped out ahead of Julia, heading for the lobby. 

They were almost to the car when Kim leaned forward, her voice low. 

“P.S. Budd had a family emergency, ma’am,” she said and Julia swallowed hard, wondering if she hadn’t covered as well as she had hoped. “One of his children was sick this morning. Had to take him to the doctor. Should be back tomorrow.” 

Julia gave a curt nod. “Thank you, Kim,” she said flatly, but internally, she breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t avoiding her. She let her mind briefly flit to the possibility that Kim knew about her and David. But she brushed it aside quickly.

Stepping into the car, she felt her thoughts finally begin to calm. Even if it was only for the moment.  _ He wasn’t avoiding her.  _  
  


David exited the police station, the past 18 hours weighing heavily on him as he glanced at his watch. 

_ His confrontation and the resulting argument with Julia had caused a restless night of pacing back and forth in his room. He imagined he looked a lot like a caged animal as he walked in circles around the room after their fight.  _

_ There was a part of him that still wanted to go next door and explain the whole situation with the spying to Julia. To ask her to come clean with him once and for all so they could move past this. But his pride made him a stubborn man. It always had. And it was hard not to think about the first time it had cost him his relationship with Julia. He finally flopped back onto the bed with a frustrated groan.  _

_ He had only just managed to finally fall asleep when his phone buzzed against the nightstand and he jolted up in bed, his first thought of Julia.  _

_ He frowned as his wife’s name appeared on the screen, accompanied by his favorite picture of Vicky and the kids. He made a mental note to consider changing the photo later.  _

_ “Vick?” He answered uncertainly, worried by the late hour of the call.  _

_ Vicky had explained that Charlie had come down with a stomach bug making the rounds at school and that she needed David to take him to the doctor the next morning. The hospital was short staffed and she had signed up for a double shift starting at 5 a.m. She would have to try to find someone to cover for her if he couldn’t get away. _

_ David agreed quickly, his mind briefly flitting to Julia and what she would think. But Charlie had to be his first priority. He was a dad, first and foremost. He would have to talk to Julia later.  _

Now, one stomach bug diagnosis later and spending a day with a very pitiful little boy, David was grateful for the reprieve when Vicky managed to swap her second shift with another nurse at the hospital. Though getting to spend time with his children was one of his favorite things -- a dinosaur movie marathon and tomato soup included -- he hated seeing them feel bad. 

After Charlie had left, he showered and dressed, relieved for the distraction of the day. He’d barely had a chance to think about how he and Julia had left things at all. Checking his phone, he frowned when he realized he had missed a call from Craddock. But she had left him a message, asking him to come in that afternoon when he got a chance. 

He wasn’t surprised when she had asked for another update about Julia and if she had met recently with Stephen Hunter-Dunn. He couldn’t help the feeling of apprehension that prickled in his stomach at Craddock’s questioning. It felt like he was taking a test. And if he didn’t get the answer right, his family would pay the price. He  **hated** this.

He was quick to tell her that, to his knowledge, Julia hadn’t met with Stephen in the past several days, which was true. And then, he politely dismissed himself, telling his boss he wanted to check in with Vicky about Charlie. 

Now, as he exited the station, he was surprised when his phone began to ring in his pocket. He was even more surprised when he looked down at the caller ID and saw the name Lavender written across the screen. 

He cleared his throat, unsure what to expect as he answered. 

“P.S. Budd,” he said evenly. 

“It’s me.” Julia hesitated on the other end of the line, and David wondered if she was second guessing calling him now. When she spoke again, it sounded formal and David realized with a twinge of disappointment that this was a work call, not a personal one. “I need to go out of town tonight.”

“Uh… Where to?” He asked, stalling outside of the police station, looking around.

“Get everything organized and I’ll give you the necessary information just before we set off.”

Again, no explanation. David was beginning to grow irritated with how short and mysterious she was being. 

“Sure,” he answered flatly.

“You’ll drive. No police escort. No support vehicle,” she instructed. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

David frowned, feeling a knot in his stomach. What the hell was she up to? 

“Julia, I can’t authorize that,” he softened. “You’re a target.”

It seemed silly to remind her of that. Thornton Circus had made that fairly obvious. But he couldn’t help it. Despite whatever personal problems they were having with their relationship, or the lack thereof, it was still his job to protect her. He was still her bodyguard. 

“I’m a target because of leaks,” she reminded him. I’ll take responsibility.”

There was silence on the other side of the line. Then came the words that stopped David in his tracks. 

“Please, David. You’re the only one I trust.”

The ride to Chequers was a quiet one. 

When David used a guarded back entrance to exit the Blackwood that night, Julia was grateful for him not questioning her request. She could tell it was taking everything in him not to turn down her mysterious favor. 

Giving him a forced smile, she thanked him for his discretion as he ushered her toward a small sports car parked not far from the service entrance they had come out of. 

Setting off toward the prime minister's country home, she was grateful for the low tone of music coming from the radio as they rode along in silence. Things were tense between them. And she fiddled with the corner of the folder in her lap for a distraction.

David had been driving for about half an hour before Julia spoke. 

“How is Charlie?” She asked softly, reaching for the volume on the radio and turning it down. “Kim said he was sick today?” David nodded. 

“He’ll be fine,” he answered. “Just a bit of a stomach bug. Picked it up at school, I think,” he said, his eyes never leaving the road. 

“Ah, I see…” Julia said nodded. “That must happen a lot with kids in school…” she said, glancing out the window as their small talk began to fade into uncomfortable quietness again. 

“Aye.”

The silence settled between them and Julia watched as the trees rushed past in a dense forest. There were no street lights on the long, winding road, and she found herself staring up at the full moon in the sky. She willed herself not to think about the meeting she was about to have with the Prime Minister. Her fingers brushed against the front of the file folder marked only with the word ‘confidential’ as they continued the ride in silence. 

She briefly thought about telling David to turn back. To forget this ever happened. The unflappable Julia Montague the country knew was suddenly feeling very nervous. And second-guessing her decision completely. But she also knew this was a conversation that had to be had. A confrontation that was for the good of the country and its people. Whether Vosler would see it that way was a whole different matter entirely. 

She needed to think of something else. To distract herself from the thoughts running rampant in her mind. She turned discreetly to watch David as he navigated the car effortlessly through the turns and curves of the road.

“I was afraid you had left when Kim showed up this morning.”

The words were out of Julia’s mouth before she could think better of it and David’s head snapped toward her in surprise only for a brief moment before he turned his attention back to the road. 

“Why would I leave?” He finally said after a long moment of silence. Julia took in the way he seemed to grip the steering wheel tighter as he spoke. She frowned. 

“You  _ know  _ why,” she said tersely, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes as they continued their journey.

“And did you miss me?” David asked quietly. It was Julia’s turn to look at him in surprise.  “When you thought I had left, I mean,” he added quickly for clarification, his eyes flitting to hers for a quick moment. 

She didn’t dare to say it out loud, but she  _ had  _ missed him. It was amazing how quickly she had adjusted to having him in her life again. And in her bed. Almost every night since that first encounter, he had dropped her off at her door, said good night and exited the same way he had entered. He would speak to the guard on his way to his room, where he would lock the door and join her in her suite through the adjoining door. Chatting quietly over a glass of wine, one thing would lead to the other and they would end up making love on the couch or in the shower or in her king-sized bed. Sometimes they skipped the wine and small talk entirely, not able to get enough of one another after a particularly stressful day.

“What do you think?” She asked, raising a brow with a smirk she couldn’t quite hold back, despite the argument they had had only 24 hours before. 

David said nothing, but Julia noted the way his lips tugged up at the corner, a pleased smile taking over his features as he nodded wordlessly. He reached the volume button on the stereo, turning up the music again. The silence between them hung in the air, but it didn’t seem as uncomfortable now. 

They had been riding in silence for a while when David finally spoke up. 

“Julia, what are we doing?” He asked, uncertainly. His tone was agitated and she guessed that their current situation was making David very nervous. 

“I can’t tell you,” she answered quickly, her voice flat. David turned to stare at her for a minute, his jaw clenched as he turned back to stare at the road. 

As they came up on a layby, David pulled sharply to the edge of the rest stop, putting the car in park. 

Julia’s started out the window of the car, avoiding his gaze. She didn’t have to wait long for his outburst.

“You kiddin’ me?” He said sharply, his voice raised. 

She turned to look at him, swallowing hard.

“You call me up after dismissing me last night and want a favor. For me to swoop in and take you on some secret mission that you can’t tell me about, all while asking me to forgo the necessary security clearance for the trip. And you can’t tell me what’s goin’ on here? I didn’t sign up for this, Julia!” 

Julia’s shoulders slumped in defeat. She knew he was right. He deserved to know what he had gotten himself in the middle of. 

“You’re taking me to see Vosler,” she finally said, her voice low as her eyes stared at the folder still in her lap. She had spent so long staring at the file, she could see the contents in her head without ever opening the folder. “The address I gave you is for Chequers.” 

When David said nothing, she assumed he was waiting for her to continue. 

“I’ve found … some information on Vosler … that I believe he needs to answer for. It’s my job as a public servant to ensure that the people of this country are protected … by whatever means it takes. Even if it puts me directly in the line of fire.” 

David studied her face for a long minute. 

“You’re doing it, aren’t you?” He asked slowly, the realization dawning on him. “You’re making a run for Number 10…” 

Julia sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you, David…” she said softly, her gaze finally meeting his own. “But if I have this chance … and I don’t take it… I can add it to the things I think I would regret for the rest of my life…” 

David opened his mouth to speak and closed it again, allowing himself briefly to think that she might be speaking about him. 

“We should get going…” she said, glancing at the clock on the dash. “It’s getting late. And who knows how long this will take.” 

David nodded, starting the car again and pulling back onto the deserted road. It wasn’t everything. And it wasn’t all of the secrets between them. But it certainly was a start. 

“Does Vosler know you’re coming?” He asked curiously, merging back on to the backcountry road. Julia couldn’t help the laugh that slipped from her lips. 

“He has no idea.” 

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, though David thought he could feel the energy change in the air the closer they got to the Prime Minister’s country home. He glanced over at Julia, who had opened the file folder in her lap and was studying it intently, illuminated only by the single overhead light above her. Reading her body language, David reached out and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. He was relieved when she didn’t pull away and turned to look at him, her features softening. He thought he might have seen the smallest trace of a smile just then. 

David released her hand as they approached the entrance to the estate. He took in the way the guard’s eyes widened at Julia’s unexpected arrival, speaking quickly into his earpiece. 

_ “It’s Lavender.” _

As they were directed up the drive, Julia took a deep breath, summoning her courage one final time. “Well, here goes nothing,” she said lowly to David as he slowed the car, finally stopping in front of the extravagant home. She turned to look at him again, their gaze meeting in the darkness. 

“Don’t mention this to anyone,” Julia said seriously. “This never happened. And if I don’t come back, go to the Death Star.” 

And with that, she flashed him a brilliant smile and exited the car. David stared after her, his confusion evident.  _ Go to the Death Star? What did that mean?  _

The silence in the car was deafening. 

He turned on the radio and listened for approximately 17 seconds before he switched it off again. He couldn’t focus on anything other than the looming home in front him. 

_ “Please, David. You’re the only one I trust.” _

He fidgeted with his hands nervously, staring at the door and willing it to open. Should he had gone inside with her to meet with Vosler? He quickly dismissed the idea. Julia wouldn’t have let him even if he had tried. He sighed heavily. 

_ The only one I trust.  _

The words played again and again in his head. Despite their argument the night before, he had still been the one she had called when she needed help.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he put it back on the dash when he remembered he had shut it off so his movements couldn’t be tracked. A half hour passed. Then another. And his eyes never left the front door.

David was beginning to brainstorm ways he could get inside to get to Julia if he needed to, when he watched as the large oak door at the front of the house swung open. He watched as Julia turned to the Prime Minister, offering her hand, which Vosler begrudgingly took. David bit back a chuckle. No one could say Julia Montague wasn’t ballsy. 

As she climbed back into the car, he stared at her for a moment, waiting for her to indicate how the meeting had gone. Her poker face was both impressive and frustrating. 

“Drive,” she instructed, buckling her seatbelt as David sped down the driveway and back onto the road. 

Once they had left Chequers behind them, Julia finally breathed a sigh of relief. It felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders when she had emerged from the house and seen David there waiting for her. 

“Well?” David finally asked, unable to get a clear read on her emotions. 

“We’ll see,” Julia said carefully, but the satisfied smirk she wore gave David all the information he needed. He had resigned himself to not asking questions while he waited for Julia. Whatever she wanted to tell him, she could. When the time was right. But, he knew there was a much more important conversation the two of them had been avoiding. 

“Julia… About last night…” David began, glancing over at her and watching as she visibly tensed. “I just … is this a conversation we can have now?” He asked and Julia nodded. 

“I think we should,” she agreed. 

“I … might have overreacted a bit …” David admitted, gripping the steering wheel hard. Julia laughed sardonically.

“You didn’t,” she reassured him. “If the roles were reversed and you had done that to me… I would be livid.”

David nodded. 

“But that was a long time ago… you did what you thought was right,” he reasoned. “But I was more upset about the fact you didn’t tell me, Julia. I had to find out from Mike Travis, of all people.”

Julia arched a brow in surprise. 

“Mike Travis?” she repeated.

“He approached me after Thornton Circus,” David explained. “Said something about how fitting it was that it was my job to protect you after you saved me in Helmand all those years ago.”

Julia’s eyes narrowed. 

“He said that to you?”

“Aye. Called it poetic justice, if I remember correctly,” David said frowning. As they passed another layby, he pulled into it, putting the car into park and turning his body so he could look at Julia. This was a conversation that needed to be had face to face. 

“That bastard…” Julia muttered under her breath. “I should have known….” She caught herself and looked over at David. “Well, despite finding out the way that you did, I’m glad it’s out in the open… Even if you are angry with me.” 

She frowned. 

“I knew you would be,” she admitted. “I knew I had overstepped the boundary lines back then… but then you came back into my life and I thought about telling you. But it only seemed like it would cause more problems. I didn’t think it had hurt anything,” she admitted. “I was just so worried about you … and when I got the chance to do something about it…” She sighed. “I’m sorry, David. I know that wasn’t my place…” 

David shook his head and found himself reaching for her hand. 

“If I was the same hothead I had been 10 years ago, I would be furious with you … so I can’t say I blame you for not telling me. At least not completely,” he admitted, interlacing his fingers with hers. “If anything, I should probably be thanking you…” he said, his voice quiet. “I had a death wish out in Helmand, Julia,” he almost whispered. “Everything in my life was falling apart. My marriage. My family. I watched my friends killed right beside me in battle. And I saw you everywhere… It was almost too much to handle. So thank you … for intervening. Even if I wouldn’t have understood it back then.”

Julia blinked back the tears she felt beginning to pool in her eyes. 

“I still should have told you, David,” she admitted, knowing she had been wrong. “You asked me not to lie to you anymore, and that should have been the first thing that I confessed. For that, I am sorry.” 

David nodded. 

“I’m sorry, too. For letting it slip about Sampson and Craddock…” he said, looking away from her, feeling guilty. “That wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you. But I was just … so angry at you.”

Julia frowned. 

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot since last night, actually….” she admitted. “I had to sit across from Anne Sampson in a meeting today, and it took everything in me to not put her on the spot right there… But I didn’t want it to come back on you. I wanted you to be able to say your piece first.” 

David nodded. 

“It’s not as black and white as it seems, Julia.” He pulled his hand from hers and clenched it into a fist. “Christ. That sounds bad. What I meant was … I didn’t want to do it.”

“But you  _ did _ do it?” Julia prodded gently, feeling her heart seize at his words. 

David nodded half-heartedly and she felt a tear begin to fall. 

“Why?” she whispered, closing her eyes, trying to keep more tears at bay. 

“They threatened my family,” he said quickly. “They said they didn’t know if they could afford to keep them in the safe house any longer if I didn’t do it. I was terrified for Ella and Charlie. And for Vicky, too.” He admitted. “That was right after the bombing at Heath Bank … and we still didn’t know if they were going to try again. I had to make sure they were safe, Julia.”

Julia swallowed hard, suddenly understanding David’s motivation a bit more. That was just like Anne Sampson. To use what someone loved to get them to do your bidding. She was furious. She closed her eyes, slowly counting to five, and opened them again to find David still looking at her. 

“What did you tell them?”

“They wanted to know about your connection with Stephen Hunter-Dunn,” David explained, rubbing his palm against his trousers absentmindedly as he looked down. “They provided me with equipment … to monitor your meetings … from my room.”

Julia’s face suddenly seemed to light up with understanding. 

“The adjoining room…” she said slowly. “I thought that was for my protection after Thornton Circus…” 

David shook his head, still focused on his pants. 

“Anne Sampson arranged it.. It made her  _ request  _ easier….” he said, frowning as her hand came to rest on top of his, stilling his movement. 

“You have to know I didn’t want to do it, Julia,” he said quickly. “I told them no. That I would rather focus on my duties as your PPO… but they wouldn’t have it. So I kept my reports brief. I tried to lie to them the first time, said you never met with Hunter-Dunn, but they caught me in the lie. I evaded them as much as I could. You have to believe me.” 

“They played on my emotions. On my love for my kids…. On you knowing about the Heath Bank attack. Anne told me you could have kept my kids safe, but you didn’t.”

Julia gritted her teeth. 

“David, I told you what I did in that situation --” she began, but David cut her off. 

“I know. But I didn’t know that at the time. I was just so upset with you for keeping that from me…” 

“Anne Sampson really knows how to play the game, doesn’t she?” Julia asked tensely, ire evident in her tone and David frowned. 

“Aye. She’ll do whatever it takes to get you on her side…” he agreed. 

“And … your spying on me … is that why you … why we….” she trailed off uncertainly, not sure that she wanted to continue her line of questioning. Fearful of the answer he might give her. Sometimes it was better not to ask if you weren’t prepared for the answer.

“Why what, Julia?”

His tone was firm, but gentle, encouraging her to continue. 

“Is that why you slept with me?” she asked, her child-like voice soft as the question hung between them in the air. “So you could get closer to me? To spy on me? Is that why you’re fucking me now?” 

David didn’t miss the accusation in her voice as she looked up at him, her eyes fierce and her tone sharp. 

“No!” David answered quickly, his heart breaking that she could even think that. “That was never … this was never about …  _ we _ were never a part of the plan, Julia. Revisiting us and our past was the last thing I  _ ever _ envisioned happening here… But I’m glad it did.”

Julia physically felt the sense of relief flow through her her body.

“I never could stay angry at you, you know,” she admitted with a chuckle. “It’s really infuriating, actually.” 

David laughed in response, grabbing her hand in his. 

“I think it just means we’ve got something good, love,” he said, his charming smile taking over his face as she resigned herself to knowing he was right. Leaning back in her seat, she watched as he lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently. 

“No more secrets?” he whispered against her palm and she nodded. 

“No more secrets,” she agreed. “Now, let’s go home, Sergeant Budd. I missed falling asleep with you last night.” 

“Mmmm, I missed you, too, ma’am,” he said, leaning over and kissing her before putting the car into drive as they set off for the Blackwood.

  
  
  


An hour later found David and Julia having snuck back into The Blackwood during guard change. Julia kept waiting for the interrogation into where she had been to come. But no one seemed the wiser to her disappearance. 

“You really didn’t tell anyone we were going did you?” She asked, sounding almost surprised as she shed her black trench coat, hanging it by the door and moving into the suite toward the kitchen. 

“You told me not to,” David said with a shrug, watching her move to the mini-bar and then following after her. He stood at her side as she pulled two wine glasses down, then leaned down to get a bottle of rosé from the fridge. 

Providing them each with a generous pour of the bubbly pink liquid, Julia smiled at David over the edge of her her glass, her eyes meeting his expectantly. 

“Thank you for tonight,” she said with a knowing smile that he returned as they sipped at the alcohol slowly. 

“Mmmm,” David hummed in agreement, swallowing hard as the bubbles tickled his nose. He watched as she leaned against the mini bar, her eyes still on him.

“Thank you … for confiding in me,” he said softly. 

“Are you tired, David?” She asked suddenly, her gaze going to the clock on the wall. It was late. And he had been up with Charlie since early that morning. “You’ve had a very long day.” 

He watched her for a moment, weighing how he should answer. He had been up early with Charlie, but had managed to doze with his son a few times as they watched cartoons together at Vicky’s. Now, the thrill from the secret mission tonight had gotten his blood pumping steadily. 

He thought he recognized a hint of mischievousness in Julia’s voice. She was up to something.

“No ma’am,” he finally said, his brow arching. “Why do you ask?” 

He couldn’t miss the brilliant smile that crossed Julia’s face at his answer. He had chosen the right one, apparently. 

“I was just thinking we could … slip into something a little more comfortable,” Julia suggested with a shrug as she held her wine glass to her lips. “Just enjoy each other’s company for the night.” 

Her grin told David all he needed to know and he cleared his throat, taking another sip from his glass as her intentions became clear. 

“Unless you’re too tired?” She added with a Cheshire cat-like grin. “Then we can just call it a night. You can go back to your room and we’ll get back to work tomorrow?” 

David shook his head quickly in protest. 

“No, I’m not tired,” he reassured her, watching as she finished the last of her rosé. 

“Good. Why don’t you get us a refill on our beverages, and I’ll meet you in the bedroom?”

David said nothing, only nodding wordlessly as she slipped past him and disappeared around the corner into her room. He worked quickly to refill their glasses and entered the bedroom behind her. 

“Put the glasses on the table and have a seat on the bed,” Julia instructed. He was surprised to see that she hadn’t changed clothes at all in the few minutes it had taken him to appear. 

Following her directions, he placed both glasses of wine on the table next to the bed and went to sit on the edge of the mattress, eyeing Julia curiously as she fiddled with the button on her suit jacket. David watched as she popped the button open, letting the jacket slide down her arms and land on the floor. He swallowed hard, resisting the urge to reach for her as she stood in front of him. 

Her hand reaching for the button on her trousers, her eyes never left his as she continued to slowly undress, her pants falling to a pile on the floor. Stepping out of them and moving closer to David, she grinned as he reached out to touch her and she sidestepped the contact. David poured briefly, but couldn’t help the sly smile that appeared on his face a moment later. 

Getting the message, he leaned back, content in watching her undress as he took in the view of her body, becoming more visible to him with each passing moment. He could feel himself growing more aroused as she pulled the purple lace blouse over her head and added it to the pile, leaving her in nothing but black, silky undergarments. 

Staring open-mouthed at Julia, he bit the inside of his cheek as his gaze traveled from her head to her toes. 

“Can I touch you, Julia?” he finally asked into the silence of the room and Julia nodded slowly in agreement, still not saying anything. The air in the room was stifling and as David reached out to touch her, his hand toying with the silk of her underwear. Julia’s breath was becoming more shallow as she looked down, feeling his fingers slip underneath the edge of the material and grab onto her hip possessively.

She let out a whimper of equal parts surprise and anticipation as he pulled her toward him, his free hand interlacing with hers as he pulled her into his lap so she was straddling him on the bed. His hands began to wander and Julia closed her eyes, feeling him on her everywhere. Pulling her down so that she was sitting on his lap, she could feel the obvious signs of his arousal from her strip tease and she grinned proudly at him, rubbing her lower body against him as he moaned with pleasure. 

She felt his hands at her back as he reached for the clasp of her bra, both of them sighing as the oppressive item of clothing fell free from Julia’s body. Ghosting his fingers gently across her back, his grasp became more intentional as he ran his hands down her spine, one hand coming to rest on her ass, the only part of her body still shrouded from his view. 

“Can I kiss you, Julia?” he asked, the other hand coming to the nape of her neck, applying a bit of gentle pressure there as she closed her eyes in response to his question. 

“Please do,” she said breathlessly, her eyes still closed as she anticipated feeling his lips against her own. She didn’t have to wait long as he leaned forward, pulling her into him with his hand still on her neck. Their bodies were as close as two bodies could get as she wrapped both of her arms around his neck, her fingers threading through the unruly curls she loved so much. 

They continued to kiss as Julia rocked back and forth in David’s lap, cursing the fact that he was still dressed. 

“I believe I suggested … we slip into something … more comfortable,” she reminded him, her pointed suggestion punctuated by her lips pressing against his. She took his full bottom lip into her mouth, biting down lightly, grinning as he gasped in response to her. 

“Can I help you with that, P.S. Budd?” she asked pulling away from his mouth with a knowing smirk, reaching for the button on his shirt. David instantly missed the contact and frowned before moving forward to kiss her again. 

This time it was a quick kiss as he pulled away. Julia began to protest. That is until she felt his lips begin to move lower, from her mouth to her neck as he nuzzled into her, his arms pulling her closer into him. Throwing her head back to give him easier access, she paused only for a moment before resuming her task of unbuttoning his shirt. 

By the time she was done, David had focused his attention elsewhere, his lips coming to rest on her collarbone where he began to suck insistently at her skin, taking it into his mouth. 

“David Nathaniel Budd, are you marking me?” Julia asked sharply, and David pulled away, looking like a guilty child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. “No?” he said with a sly smile, his gaze going back to the bright red, circular mark beginning to form just below Julia’s neck. 

Julia rolled her eyes at his coyness and shook her head with a little chuckle. 

“What am I going to do with you, Sargeant?” she asked, her voice suddenly taking on a salacious tone as she removed his shirt and pulled his undershirt over his head to follow. 

“Oh, I can think of a few things, ma’am,” David said with a grin, leaning forward and capturing her lips again as his tongue began to toy with hers impatiently. 

Smirking, she pushed him back on the bed, leaving him flat on his back as she slid down his body, reaching for his trousers and undoing them torturously slow. She didn’t want to rush tonight. She just wanted to be with David and for them to enjoy each other without hurrying through the motions. Their argument the night before had reminded her how close she had come to losing him again. And she never wanted to take his presence in her life for granted. 

Feeling him lift his hips from the bed beneath her, she pulled his pants down his legs, pushing them until they fell to the floor with the rapidly growing collection of their other clothes. She returned to where she had been, straddling his strong muscular thighs, squeezing him slightly as she leaned forward, her lips meeting his again. 

Everything seemed like it moved in slow motion as she braced herself with a palm on each side of David’s head as they kissed slowly. She could feel his hands on her ass as the kissed, encouraging her to continue what she had started. And she could feel him -- growing harder against her stomach with each passing minute. 

Reaching between them, she stroked him lightly a few times, the only thing between her hand and him was the thin cotton of his boxer shorts. Sitting up again, still astride his lap, she watched as David lifted himself on his elbows to look up at her with dark eyes. Lifting herself up slightly, she held her breath as David removed the boxers, kicking them off and finally releasing his cock, hard and ready for her, into the cool night air. 

David reached for the soaked through material of her knickers, pushing them to the side as she lowered herself onto him, her head thrown back wantonly. David didn’t dare close his eyes as he watched as her face transformed from one of anticipation to one of pure pleasure. 

Giving her a minute to adjust, David thrust his hips upward into Julia, grinning as she let out a small whimper. If it wasn’t for the quietness of the room, he wasn’t sure he would have heard her. Julia opened her eyes again, looking down at him, as she began to slowly move up and down against him, squeezing him with every movement she made. Moving her palms to ghost over his chest slowly, she ran her nails across his muscled upper body, her fingers tangling in the dark patches of hair there. 

Resting her palms against his chest, she began to ride him slowly, moaning as he met her thrust for thrust, holding her hips in his calloused, rough grasp. Time seemed to slow as they moved together, going deeper, slower and longer than they had ever taken the time to do before. Julia could feel herself starting to come apart and picked up the pace as she cried out David’s name, her eyes clenched tightly as she lifted herself up and down on his hard shaft again and again. 

Feeling David reach for her hand, she intertwined her fingers with his, as he sat up, bracing his free hand against her back and kissing her as her body began to tremble.

“David,” she repeated his name over and over again against his own lips as she felt the white hot heat take over her body and she began to quake as she braced herself against him, squeezing him tightly inside her as her orgasm took over. 

Feeling her tighten around him was all David needed to send himself over the edge, emptying himself into her with abandon as he thrust into her body a few more times. With that, the two of them collapsed in a heap in the middle of the bed, both breathing hard as they collected themselves. David was the first to speak. 

“We should fight more often … if that’s what it’s like to make up,” he suggested, with a laugh. Julia raised her head only slightly to look at him, rolling her eyes. 

“Shut up, David,” she said flatly, her head flopping back down onto the bed as she began to laugh. She was sore all over and could tell she was going to have trouble getting out of bed the following morning. She made a mental note to herself to wear flats instead of heels. 

David laughed at her reaction as he cuddled up next to her, spooning against her heated body. 

“I love you, Julia,” he said quietly, leaning over and kissing her temple. Sleep was quickly overcoming him as the weight of the day began to catch up to him. 

“I love you, too,” she murmured, her eyes already closed. “But on a scale of 1 to 10, how much am I going to hate you in the morning when I see that love bite?” she asked, the corner of her mouth turning up into a smirk as David’s eyes widened.

“Oh, definitely like a 13,” he answered, kissing her shoulder before they fell into a fit of giggles before drifting off to sleep tangled up in one another. 


	10. European Geography... And Other Matters at Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia would have almost felt bad for the man if the circumstances were different. She really had looked up to Mike during her appointment to the Home Office. He was a friendly face, always willing to offer to help her with whatever she needed, and he was quick to point out the ins and outs of government work when she wasn’t quite sure of procedure. In some way, he reminded her a bit of her father. But her father never would have been stupid enough to let himself get in over his head the way he had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it has been a WHILE, friends! I didn't realize just how long. Hopefully this update has been worth the wait! This is a big transition chapter that is going to push David and Julia toward the end of our story. (Just a few more chapters to go!) And what is a good transition chapter without some added smut in it? Maybe, heed the rating on this chapter...
> 
> And let me know what you think.
> 
> Thank you, as always, to my favorite proof readers and the best encouragers a girl could ask for Candi, Linn and Laura, y’all are the best. 
> 
> xoxo.

Julia popped her head out of her office, stopping as her gaze landed on her bespectacled minister of state with a glare. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the older man’s appearance as he chatted with a colleague from counter-terrorism.

“Mike? A word?” Julia said simply, not giving any emotion to the request as she popped back into her office. 

She threw David a smug look from behind the glass wall of her office that disappeared just as quickly as it had come as Mike entered her office, shutting the door behind him with a decisive click. 

David watched with keen interest, thankful for his task of watching Julia at all times as he watched the scene unfold in front of him as Julia moved to sit behind her desk. 

A power move, he thought with a smirk. He was thankful Mike’s back was to him as he watched. Julia was speaking now, and despite not being able to hear what was said, he watched as Mike pushed his glasses up on his nose, a nervous habit that David had commented on to Julia more than once. It looked like Mike was protesting whatever Julia was saying before she cut him off sharply. David knew one thing for certain, he sure was glad he wasn’t Mike Travis right now. 

“Do you enjoy working in the Home Office, Mike?” Julia asked, clasping her hands together in front of her as she watched the man shift uncomfortably in his chair. 

“Of course I do, Home Secretary,” he said quickly, unsure where this line of questioning was going. He cleared his throat anxiously, a habit that irked Julia more than usual in the current moment. 

She tilted her head slightly, watching his discomfort grow the longer the silence between them went on. 

“Have you been sharing information from classified documents in this office?” she finally asked and Mike’s brow furrowed in confusion. 

“No, Julia, I never --” 

She held up her hand to stop him. 

“Did you or did you not share with Sergeant Budd that I requested his leave from Helmand after I was appointed Home Secretary?”

Julia thought she might have seen the man pale. Before he could answer, she continued. 

“You see, Mike, what we do in this office … is sensitive information,” she reminded him curtly. “By sharing that knowledge with anyone … well, you put the country at risk, honestly.” 

“Ma’am, I didn’t -- I would never undermine the security of the Home Office!” He protested. “I was just --” Julia cut him off again. 

“Do you think I’m stupid, Mike?” She asked shortly, crossing her legs under her desk and leaning forward. 

“Of course not!” He argued. 

Julia would have almost felt bad for the man if the circumstances were different. She really had looked up to Mike during her appointment to the Home Office. He was a friendly face, always willing to offer to help her with whatever she needed, and he was quick to point out the ins and outs of government work when she wasn’t quite sure of procedure. In some way, he reminded her a bit of her father. But her father never would have been stupid enough to let himself get in over his head the way he had. 

“And do you think I don’t know about your grand plan?” She asked flatly. “The one where you and Rob and Roger all team up against me to bring me down?” 

Mike looked like he was going to be sick. There was a small part of Julia that had to admit she was enjoying this a bit. Moving to stand in front of her glass window, she couldn’t help the tug at the corner of her lips as her eyes met David’s across the room. His brow furrowed, giving her a discreet thumbs up at his side before she turned away, growing serious again. 

“It was Roger’s idea,” Mike blurted, bringing a shaky hand to his lips. “He thought it would be better for the country if there was someone that was a bit more … compatible… with the PM appointed to your position. I never intended to hurt you, Julia. But Roger … he has … some information he’s using against me… if it ever got out … my career would be ruined.”

Julia’s eyes widened. She had truly had no idea, though it didn’t seem above Roger to use blackmail as his preferred method to get what he wanted. 

“What could he possibly have on you, Mike?” She asked, watching as he got up from his chair and began to pace her office. Glancing at David from behind the glass, she gave a slight shrug, watching as David tensed as the man moved back toward her. Giving David an almost imperceptible shake of her head, she frowned as Mike returned to his chair. 

“I’d really rather not say…” Mike began, avoiding Julia’s gaze as he looked down at the floor in embarrassment. When he looked up again, Julia was still staring at him, her arms crossed over her chest. He sighed heavily.

“Alright…” He began. “It’s just … I have a quite a bit of a gambling debt … Roger found out … I don’t know how ... and he said if I didn’t help him, he would leak the information to the press. I had no choice. If anyone found out, I would be ruined. A career of public service... wiped out by a single headline…”

Julia felt herself soften as the man began to stammer over his words. She knew what it was like to feel trapped by Roger. 

“What did you hope to achieve by getting David involved?” she asked curiously, coming to sit behind her desk again. She realized her slip up as soon as her PPO’s name left her mouth. No principal would ever call her PPO by his first name while discussing him with another colleague. 

Mike looked up at her for the first time since his uttered confession, his brow knit together in confusion. 

“David…” he repeated, his eyes boring into Julia’s curiously. Deciding not to push the matter when she said nothing, he continued. “It was Roger’s suggestion. To get P.S. Budd to turn against you.”

Julia scoffed. 

“Of course he would be concerned about --” she stopped short, willing herself to not say anything that could incriminate she and David before they made any sort of decision about where to go from here. 

“Roger seemed to think that you and Sergeant Budd … have a closer relationship than principal and PPO should,” Mike said, glancing over his shoulder at where David was stationed in the hall, his hands clasped in front of him as he surveyed the room. Julia thought Mike seemed a bit unnerved when he met David’s blank stare and quickly looked away. 

“Did he?” Julia asked curiously and sighed, beginning to rub her fingers against her temple. She could feel the beginning of a headache coming on and rolled her neck, begging the persistent thumping to go away. 

“Well, nothing in this office — or in my personal life --” she added quickly, “is my ex-husband’s business. Is that understood?” she asked, fixing him with a pointed look as he nodded quickly. 

“Take the rest of the day off today, I don’t want to see you for the rest of the day,” she finally said, leaning back against her chair. “Tell Rob and Roger I know all about your plan, and I’m not going anywhere,” she said matter-of-factly. 

Mike said nothing, staring at her for a long minute in silence. There was something different about Julia that he couldn’t place. 

“That’s it. Fuck off,” she added, motioning to the door with a tilt of her head in the direction of the glass wall. She turned her attention to a file on her desk and began to read it. The world kept moving on, after all. 

Moving quicker than he could remember moving in years, Mike was at the door, his hand on the handle when he paused. 

“I’m awfully sorry about all of this, Julia,” he said, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. 

Julia looked up at him, surprised to see him still there.

“So am I, Mike. So am I,” she murmured softly, finally feeling the sting of his admission. 

Not saying anything else, the man disappeared from her office and out the door toward the elevator. 

  
  
  


“Roger really is a lil’ shit, isn’t he?” David asked in astonishment, hearing Julia relay the events of her meeting with Mike. He really wasn’t sure why the things that man did still surprised him, and yet... 

Julia couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from her lips.. 

“The biggest shit,” she agreed as she leaned back against David’s chest. 

If you would have told her two months ago that she would have been laid up on the couch with her ex-boyfriend-turned bodyguard-turned boyfriend again, watching some silly trivia show after stuffing herself with pizza, she would have laughed quite a lot. And honestly, she couldn’t remember a time when she had been happier than she was right now. 

“Aye, you remember a few weeks ago, when you mentioned us going away?” David asked, his arm coming to rest around her waist and pulling her body further into his. 

“Mhmmmm?” she murmured, closing her eyes as she relaxed into his embrace, the stress of the day finally beginning to catch up with her. 

“Why don’t we go?” He suggested. “It might be nice to get away for a bit. Get some space from the Roger, Mike and Rob situation…”

Julia was thoughtful for a moment. 

“You have yourself a deal… on one condition,” she said, arching a brow as she looked over her shoulder at him. “I’ll go to Scotland with you … again … if we don’t mention my ex-husband’s name again tonight.” 

Both of them began to laugh and David nodded quickly in agreement. 

“Deal. A week in Scotland, just you and me,” he murmured, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. “When can you get away?” He asked, beginning to make a mental list of all the things he would need to start planning for a trip. 

“How about tomorrow?” she asked with a smirk, only half joking. 

David sat up straight. 

“Julia, I can’t plan a trip to Scotland in twelve hours!” He protested and she giggled, rolling her eyes at how frantic he suddenly sounded.

“Fine. I’ll give you two days. We leave on Saturday,” she said with a smile as she nestled back into his embrace, losing herself in the trivia questions on the telly. 

She had just drifted off to sleep when she felt David’s hand sneak under the hem of her shirt, his fingers gliding over the smooth skin of her stomach. She let out a breathy sigh as she felt him shift behind her and her eyes cracked open slowly. She couldn’t help but giggle as his fingers tickled her slightly, tracing a pattern on her waist. 

“David, I’m trying to watch this,” she teasingly protested. 

“You can still watch your show,” David said lowly, his voice close to her ear and Julia shivered at the way his warm breath wreaked havoc on her senses. She closed her eyes again, feeling his other hand wrap around her waist and then slip under her blouse.

“Mmmmm,” she began, leaning further back into him. “You’re making it awfully ...  _ hard... _ to concentrate on European geography,” she told him, referencing the trivia category contestants were currently debating on. 

David couldn’t help but grin at her choice of words. 

“Am I?” He asked, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Julia’s shoulder through the silk that still covered her skin. “I find trivia shows to be very boring,” he admitted, reaching for the button on her trousers and undoing them deftly with one hand. “So, I’m just … making my own entertainment. That alright with you?” 

Julia let out a hum of approval as he unzipped her pants, suddenly not caring a thing about which country in Europe had the highest population density. 

“I suppose so,” she breathed, lifting her hips slightly as he pushed the material down her thighs. Grinning as she settled back in between his legs, he began a slow trail of his fingers from the top of her body, over her breasts and stomach, all the way down to the apex between her thighs. Running his palm against her through the material of her silk knickers, he felt his groin tighten as she thrust her lower body reflexively against his hand. 

Julia let out a breathy sigh as he retraced his path in reverse, one hand reaching under her blouse and pushing the cup of her bra down to tweak one pink, perfectly hard nipple with his thumb. His other hand returned to the hem of her underwear and he smirked knowingly as he slipped his hand beneath the material, finding her already wet and ready for him. 

David smirked. 

“European geography turn you on this much, love?” He murmured lowly in her ear as she relaxed wantonly against him, feeling as if she were melting into his embrace. 

“Mmmmm,” she mumbled in response. “Population density, in particular,” she joked with a smirk, biting her lip as he slid a finger inside her, then another. She gasped, taking a deep breath as a moan slipped unexpectedly from her mouth as he thrust in and out of her with firm strokes. Her hips bucked against his hand as David’s thumb traveled down to her clit, circling the bud of flesh persistently. Julia could feel the fire deep in her stomach as she slammed her eyes shut. Arching her back, Julia began to pant David’s name, pushing back into his chest and feeling his growing arousal at the small of her back. 

As she approached the edge, she turned her head to kiss David, her hand grasping onto his wrist, squeezing tighter as his fingers continued to work her toward orgasm, delving in and out of her as his pace increased. David bit her bottom lip as she cried out, feeling herself start to give in to the overwhelming pleasure. And then … nothing. 

Julia’s eyes widened at his sudden withdrawal and she opened her mouth and shut it again.

“What?” She finally stammered, her eyes piercing his over her shoulder as she glared at him. 

David said nothing, only grinning at her as he gripped her hips, turning her body toward his and pulling her so that she was straddling his lap as she climbed over him clumsily. 

Lowering herself down onto his lap, she wanted to curse him for bringing her to the edge of pleasure and then denying her. But feeling him beneath her, hard and straining against the denim of his jeans, she couldn't help the flutter of anticipation that had begun low in her stomach. She hummed as she began rubbing herself against him slowly, letting out little breathy sighs that she knew drove David wild. 

“Fuck geography,” David murmured under his breath, leaning forward and capturing her lips with his own. 

“Mmmm…” Julia moaned in approval against David’s mouth as she continued to rock slowly in his lap. “Or you could just fuck _me_ instead?” She offered, arching a brow and he grinned widely. 

“Ma’am,” he said with a cursory nod of agreement, stilling her against him as he held her to his chest, moving them so that she was beneath him, the weight of his body pressing her between him and the soft cushions of the sofa. 

Reaching for the button of his jeans, she began to undo it, closing her eyes as David leaned down and began to trace a sloppy path down her neck haphazardly with his lips. 

With her hands trapped between their bodies, she grasped his zipper and pulled it down agonizingly slow as David continued his assault on her neck and chest. Pulling her up into a sitting position, he took hold of both her arms, raising them over her head and pulling her shirt off quickly, tossing it onto the other side of the couch. Looking down at her as she lowered her body flat to the cushion again, his gaze moved slowly over her body, appreciating the view he now had. 

Julia let him stare for a moment before she reached for the waistband of his pants, pushing them down in a swift motion, along with his boxers, too, letting the material rest low on his strong, muscular thighs. 

It was Julia’s turn to stare now, biting her bottom lip as she took in just how ready David was for her. Reaching a questing palm out, she rubbed against him, her thumb brushing over the tip of him as David’s head fell back from the pleasure of her hand on him as she pumped him slowly a few times. 

Scooting up on the couch, he laid himself on top of her, propping himself up on his arms as she shoved her underwear aside and guided him into her. They both stilled their bodies as David thrust into her once, then twice. Arching her back against the couch, she cried out as she met him thrust for thrust, as her nails scratched roughly across his back, causing a sweet mixture of pleasure and pain. 

Not able to get him close enough to her body, she wrapped her ankles tightly around him, urging him on. Leaning forward as he moved in and out of her, he took one of her breasts into his mouth, alternating between sucking and biting lightly as Julia’s whimpering encouraged him to continue doing exactly  _ that. _

Between the movement of his hips and the way his mouth was toying with her, it didn’t take Julia long to feel like she was truly coming apart at the seams. Slamming her eyes closed, she felt David’s lips slant over hers to keep her from crying out too loudly as her walls tightened around him. 

Feeling her legs begin to tremble, she hugged him tight to her chest, panting his name into his ear as she felt herself come  _ completely _ undone. Watching the pleasure play out on her face and feeling the way her ankles dug into his arse to spur him on was all it took for David to explode with one final thrust inside her. His head came to rest in the crook between her neck and shoulder, leaving open mouthed kisses against her collarbone as he breathed harshly against her balmy, heated skin. 

A series of beeps filled the looming silence in the room -- David had shut it off as soon as that annoying theme song started to play -- as David and Julia both came down from their high, wrapped in one another’s embrace on the couch. Neither of them had moved as David slipped from her body and pulled her tighter into his frame. At the noise, David stretched out, reaching over Julia for his phone. 

“Uh uh,” Julia protested as his body shifted beside her. “Don’t move, please.” 

David laughed, his palm coming into contact with his phone on the coffee table. Pulling it toward him, he couldn’t help but smile as Julia rested her forehead against his hard, muscular chest, still working on regulating her breathing as she came down from her intense orgasm. 

“Craddock wants to see me in the morning,” David said with a sigh, reading over the text that had come through from his boss. 

“Mmmmm. Talk about a mood killer,” Julia said laughing. “That’s what I would call bad timing, Lorraine.”

“Bad timing would have been about 7 minutes ago, actually,” David joked and Julia let out a sharp laugh as she cuddled into his neck, humming in satisfaction. 

“You’re right. That ... was a good seven minutes ago,” she agreed, closing her eyes. 

“Good night, love,” he murmured, kissing her temple as he reached for the cashmere throw that covered the back of the sofa and pulling it over them as he yawned. 

“Night, my love,” Julia replied sleepily. David thought she might have been asleep before the words even fully left her mouth. 

“Sorry, what did you just say?” Lorraine Craddock asked, staring at David wide-eyed from across her desk. 

“I quit, ma’am,” David repeated, tapping his foot nervously on the carpet as Craddock stared at him in disbelief. 

“David, if this is about listening in on the Home Secretary…” she began and David shook his head. “No, that’s not it. Well, at least not all of it,” he added on second thought. 

“Well, what is it then?” she asked, her ire at his evasiveness only growing with each passing moment. 

“I’m afraid I can’t go into specifics at the moment, ma’am,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve put in for a transfer. Counter Terrorism. I should receive my new assignment in two weeks. I can serve that time working … under the Home Secretary, if you’d like, though I doubt that will be the case...” He said cryptically, unable to help the smile that crossed his features at his chosen phrase. 

_ Yes, working under the Home Secretary would certainly be okay. Above her would be satisfactory, as well. _

“What aren’t you telling me, Sargeant?” Craddock asked, eyeing David suspiciously as he placed his badge on her desk. 

“Thank you, ma’am,” David said with a genuine smile. “For everything you’ve done for me during my time here.”

_ And for reuniting me with Julia,  _ he thought with a smirk. He really did owe Lorraine and Anne Sampson a huge thank you. Even if they had no idea why. 

“David?” Craddock questioned as he turned to leave the room. Turning, he flashed her a bright smile, not saying anything before he left the room leaving a very confused Chief Inspector staring after him as he crossed the squad room and exited out the front door, giving a small nod to Kim and Tom as he passed their desks.

  
  


The headlines began to break Sunday morning. They were everywhere. On TV. In the papers. Splashing across social media platforms. 

**Mystery Man and Montague go off the grid? **

_The Times._

**Home Secretary seen at airport with former PPO! **

_The Guardian._

**Home Sec shagging her Protection Officer? **

_Daily Mail._

**Home Secretary leaving the country on romantic trip with bodyguard! **

_The Sun._

And those were a few of the less _lewd_ click-bait titles circulating online. 

Anne Sampson had just poured herself a cup of coffee as she unfolded the Sunday edition of The Guardian in the kitchen of her flat. Her eyes widened as she took in the headline, then a grainy picture below it of Julia holding hands with a mystery figure at London Heathrow. 

Narrowing her eyes, Anne gasped.  _ No. No, no, no.  _ Picking up the paper, she pulled it closer to examine the picture. Yes, that was definitely Julia Montague and David Budd. Their pose was unmistakably intimate and Anne shook her head. This was no accident. Julia wouldn’t slip up like that.  _ This was intentional. _ Their way of letting the world know they were … they were what? Together? She frowned, throwing the paper down on the kitchen table.

“That cheeky bastard…” she murmured under her breath. All the pieces began to fit together. David’s hesitation to spy on Julia. The tantrum Julia had thrown when David had been assigned to desk duty. The adjoining room. And now this.

Lorraine had called her in a huff on Friday, saying that David Budd had asked to be reassigned without any provided explanation. After some investigation on her own, she found out that he had been hired to work with DCI Deepak Sharma at SO15. But Lorraine had no idea why he had left. Or why he had been in such a hurry. 

This certainly explained _ that.  _

Picking up her mobile phone, she dialed a number and waited as the line rang. 

“Lorraine, it’s Anne,” she said brusquely, taking a long sip of her coffee. “Yes, I’ve just seen it. No… I had no clue. Did you?”


	11. Making Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I never imagined it turning out like this,” she admitted, looking over at David. Most men probably would have run away screaming from the chaos of it all. “Thank you for staying,” she whispered and David softened. 
> 
> “Of course I did, Julia,” he reassured her. “I’m not going anywhere … except North of here. Tonight. With you,” he teased, breaking the sappy moment and making her laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The short version of this chapter summary is that David and Julia attempt to make their escape! And they make some other big plans in the meantime, too.
> 
> This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I hope it is wonderful and fluffy and hot and everything you hoped for our couple. Thanks for reading! And keep an eye out for the epilogue (and me being sappy about finishing this story) later this week!

David looked around the cabin of the airplane, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He wasn’t sure he had ever had this many people looking at him before. They weren’t even openly staring either. Any time he caught someone’s gaze, they quickly looked away, pretending to be preoccupied with something else. But honestly? That might have been worse than blatantly staring. 

He glanced over at Julia, who was sitting beside him, her head leaned against the window frame as she looked out at the landscape far below them. Feeling his eyes on her, she turned and looked at him, flashing him a reassuring smile and reaching for his hand, squeezing it. 

They had both woken up that morning to their phones going mad with calls and texts and emails, all of which they had been fully expecting. Julia must have ignored Roger’s call 10 times. And that was before they even left for London Heathrow. 

As promised, while biding the short window of time before their news went public, David had planned a full trip to Scotland for them. In addition to all the regular tourist attractions, he also had a few special moments planned, as well. 

_ “I’ve been looking up a list of things we can do during our week away,” David said, taking a bite of toast as he looked at Julia from across the table.  _

_ “Mmmm. Have you?” she asked, arching a brow as she looked up from the newspaper she was holding. “You’re sure you don’t want to just spend the week in bed?” she said suggestively, her voice going low as she eyed him over the edge of the world news section. _

_ David cleared his throat, chewing at his bottom lip before swallowing hard.  _

_ “Oh, there will be plenty of time for _ that _ ,” he reassured her with a cheeky wink. “But we can’t go all the way to Glasgow without you at least seeing some of the sights,” he told her matter-of-factly. _

_ “We  _ could _ do just that,” she argued pointedly, and David bit back a smile, ignoring her statement.  _

_ “So, there are a few museums we could go to,” He offered, looking at the list he had made on his phone. “We have to go to Glasgow Green and the botanical gardens. Then there is  _ ** _my_ ** _ personal favorite, The National Piping Centre and the Bagpipe Museum,” he said with exaggeration, looking up as Julia let out a snort of amusement, finally setting her paper down.  _

_ “The only way you’re getting me to the bagpipe museum... is if you’re wearing a kilt,” she reasoned with a smirk. David let out a sharp bark of laughter.  _

_ “I’ll consider it,” he said, his eyes meeting hers as they both grinned.  _

_ “Okay, David, let’s get serious,” Julia said, taking a sip of orange juice.  _

_ “I  _ am _ serious about the Bagpipe Museum!” He argued, and Julia rolled her eyes.  _

_ “Not about that, darling,” she said, laughing. “About this. About us… Are we really ready to go public with this?”  _

_ David could hear the obvious concern in her voice, and he reached for her hand across the table, intertwining his fingers in hers. _

_ “I think it’s a good idea,” he said, nodding. “I’ve given Vicky a heads up, and I think letting it ‘slip’ as we’re leaving town is brilliant,” he told her seriously.  _

_ “It will be a media circus,” she reminded him, and David nodded.  _

_ “I know,” he said softly. “But we can handle it,” he reassured her.  _

_ Julia had to admit that his confidence was doing a good job of putting her more at ease about the whole situation. Making their own statement to the press seemed like a daunting task, but one that she was willing to go through to finally let everyone know that David was hers, and she was his. Plus, if they made the statement, they at least got to be the credible source. _

_ “What time is your meeting with Craddock?” she asked, glancing at her watch.  _

_ “9,” he said, looking at the time on his phone. “Aye, I better get going.” _

_ Julia watched him as he stood, finishing off the last of his breakfast.  _

_ “Good luck,” she offered, as he approached her side of the table and she looked up at him with a smile. “I hope it doesn’t get too messy when Lorraine’s head explodes,” she said, unable to stop the smirk that took over his features.  _

_ David chuckled. “You would love that, wouldn’t you?” He asked.  _

_ She was thoughtful for a minute.  _

_ “Mmmmm. I might, but don’t tell her that,” she said laughing as David leaned down to kiss her.  _

_ “I love you,” she murmured against his lips.  _

_ “And I love you,” he told her, giving her lips one last peck. “I’ll stop by after I’ve gone to see the kids tonight,” he reminded her. “Make sure you start packing! We leave early in the morning.” He called out, as he crossed the threshold back into his suite so he could be seen leaving from his own hotel room.  _

Meeting the curious gaze of a woman sitting across the aisle from them who kept glancing at his hand that was interlocked with Julia’s, he huffed slightly under his breath. 

Julia turned to look at him then, her eyes questioning him as she stroked the back of his palm with her thumb. 

“Are you regretting our decision to go public so soon?” She murmured quietly, leaning in and speaking softly so they wouldn’t be overheard. 

Though he would have never imagined it, David was grateful for the privileges affronted in their First Class seats. There were fewer people to look at them here. And less whispers. The complimentary alcohol didn’t hurt either. 

“Of course not,” he replied quickly, his eyes taking in Julia’s face in earnest as he made note of the little details that most people had never taken the time to notice about the Home Secretary. The way her eyes crinkled at the edges when she smiled. The way it almost looked like her eyes lit up when she looked at him. And the way she chewed on her lip nervously when she was tense. Like she was now. He smiled when he saw her relax the tiniest bit, leaning closer into him with a sigh of relief. 

“Do you?” He asked. 

Julia was thoughtful for a minute. 

“This wasn’t exactly the way I thought going public would go,” she admitted, taking a sip of her wine and shaking her head. “But as long as I’m here with you, that’s all that matters to me.”

_ Julia’s assumption had been right. The press had been out in droves as they approached the airport, her driver navigating expertly through reporters and photographers alike. No one wanted to miss the ‘anonymous tip’ they had received the night before.  _

__ She noticed the slightly panicked look in David’s eyes as he took in the chaotic scene around them. But it was gone when he looked at her, leaning forward and kissing her gently. Taking a deep breath, they exited the car holding hands, surrounded by flash bulbs and people yelling their names. Social media had already picked up the story by the time they were through security and settled in the lounge waiting for their departure to be announced. They were ghastly headlines, making it seem as if this was only some forbidden tryst of the moment. Something that would fade away quickly. Julia wished she could publicly tell them all to fuck right off.   
  


“Everyone is staring at us,” David said matter-of-factly. Julia chuckled at the fact that he assumed she hadn’t noticed. 

“Of course they are,” she said gently. “We’ll be on the cover of every front page in the country tomorrow morning. The Daily Mail has already labeled us a knock-off from that Whitney Houston movie,” she told him, rolling her eyes. 

David laughed at the comparison. 

“Hated that movie,” he confessed under his breath and Julia found herself laughing, too. “Doesn’t it bother you though? People always watching you?” 

“David, you were _ paid  _ to watch me,” she reminded him with a smirk and David tilted his head to look at her, his eyebrow raised. “I’m used to it.”

“That’s fair,” he finally agreed. “And look where it got me,” he added, wiggling his brows conspiratorially. 

“Mmmm,” she agreed. “I have to say, I think it worked out well for both of us.”

Leaning forward, Julia kissed his lips lightly and David smiled against her mouth. 

The woman across the aisle cleared her throat, glaring at them both. David rolled his eyes as Julia pulled away, her gaze flitting back out the window where the sun was just beginning to crest over the clouds. A new day was beginning. 

“I’ll get used to it,” he finally said, watching the way Julia leaned against the window frame, watching the clouds come to life in hues of pinks and purples and oranges. David found himself unable to look away from her and the way the sunlight hit her face in just the right way, stopping his breath a bit as he stared in wonder at her, thinking about how they had gotten here. 

She looked relaxed. For the first time in a very long time. Reaching for her hand again, he laced his fingers between hers, letting it fall to her denim-clad thigh. And in that moment, David knew he would do all of it all over again just to see her happy. 

A little over an hour later, when their plane had landed, Julia flipped her phone back on and sighed heavily as the notifications began to come in. 14 missed calls from Roger Penhaligon. She rolled her eyes. She guessed she could only avoid him for so long.

“I’ll have to call Roger,” she muttered under her breath, showing her phone screen to David.

“I’m sure he’ll have plenty of pleasant things to say,” he replied sarcastically. “When we get off the plane, I want to call Vick and check on the kids, that alright?” 

Julia softened. 

“Of course it’s alright. They’re your children,” she said with a soft smile. “They’re part of you, which means I love them, too,” she reminded him and David’s smile brightened. 

“How did I get so lucky?” He asked and Julia shrugged, before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“Just by chance, I guess,” she joked with a smirk. 

David shook his head. 

“No. It wasn’t by chance,” he told her, growing serious. “We were meant to be here. I believe that.”

As David and Julia entered the terminal, he could swear he felt the energy in the room change. There was something particularly strange about finally knowing how Julia felt with so many eyes on her all of the time. His hand came to rest on the small of her back as they walked together toward the car that was waiting for them to take them to their hotel. 

Before they rounded the corner, he could hear the clamour of people on the other side of the gate and he tensed. Rounding the corner, they were met with more flashbulbs and journalists yelling in their direction. It didn’t look like they had left the media circus at home in London, after all. 

“Shit…” He murmured under his breath, instantly slipping into security mode as he assessed the situation. There were police holding the media back behind a barricade for David and Julia to make a clear path toward the carpark where their transportation was waiting. David briefly wondered if they made a mistake traveling without a small security team. 

“So much for a nice vacation away,” Julia muttered under her breath. David frowned. 

“I never thought --”

“I want to say something,” Julia decided, her resolve hardening. “I’ll make a bloody statement to get them off our backs for the week… and we’ll address it further when we get home.”

David looked at her skeptically. 

“You sure?” He asked, eyeing her uncertainly. “Shouldn’t you speak to someone from Vosler’s team first?” He questioned and Julia shook her head. 

“That won’t change anything,” she pointed out with a shrug. David couldn’t miss the determination that had already settled in her voice. “This is our story to tell, David. I want us to control the narrative.”

David nodded, feeling anxiousness settle in the pit of his stomach. “I’m with you, whatever you decide.”

Stopping in the middle of the crowded room, David stood back and watched proudly as the room got quiet, waiting for Julia to speak. 

“Home Secretary, are you dating your  _ bodyguard _ ?!” A lone voice rang out from the room, and Julia watched as the other reporters looked around to try to figure out who had been brave enough to shout the question they all really wanted to know. 

Other questions all began to come in rapid fire after the initial question was asked. 

“How long have you been dating?”

“Did this start before or after he was hired?!”

“Are you going to get married, home secretary?”

“What about his wife, Julia?!”

Julia held up her hand to silence them all. 

“While I was not planning to speak to you today,” Julia began once the room grew quiet again, “However, I feel it is necessary to do so after being excessively hounded by the news media for the better part of the morning.”

She was quiet again for a moment as a hush fell over the room. Bystanders had stopped to take in the scene from behind the sea of journalists crowded around them.

“I will make a full statement once we have returned to London, but I will take the time now to confirm that I  _ am _ seeing my  _ former  _ personal protection officer, David Budd…” She paused for effect as the reporters began to whisper under the breath. They grew quiet as Julia began to speak again. “Sargeant Budd no longer serves on my security team, and we have decided to pursue a relationship. That being said, we would like to enjoy our time together here in Scotland, and ask that you respect our wish for privacy at this time. Thank you.”

The room was quiet for one moment longer before erupting into chatter as David stepped forward and reached for Julia, his hand coming to rest on her elbow, as they left the room together, leaving flashbulbs echoing in their wake.

David’s hands firmly massaged Julia’s shoulders from where he sat behind her in a large bath filled with bubbles. They had been at their hotel for promptly 15 minutes before Julia had decided she wanted to soak in the oversized, submerged tub in their bathroom. The stress of the day was already wreaking havoc on her body, and she was exhausted.

“We’re going to be prunes when we get out,” David declared, leaning forward and placing a kiss at the base of Julia’s neck, grateful for the access the messy bun she currently wore gave him to the pale, sensitive skin there. 

Julia’s head dropped forward slightly at the feel of his lips on her skin. 

“Worth it,” she murmured, her eyes closed. She still hadn’t summoned the strength to reach out to anyone at home after the headlines hit, and just the idea of it alone made her tense up. 

“Hey, relax,” David whispered lowly, his fingers working insistently at the bunched up muscles as he felt her body tens underneath his hands. 

“I know. I’m just thinking about the storm waiting for us back in London,” she admitted, leaning back into David. 

He shook his head. 

“We still have six days before we have to think about that,” he reminded her, bringing his lips to kiss the top of her head. “I’ve got an idea... why don’t you make the calls you need to make when we get out, and I’ll go arrange a picnic lunch for us. I know the perfect spot.” 

Julia couldn’t help the bright smile that overtook her face. 

“That sounds nice,” she said, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as she closed her eyes. 

“You’re making it awfully difficult to want to get out of this tub though, Julia,” he said with a smirk, leaning forward and capturing her earlobe lightly between his teeth. 

Letting out a yelp of surprise, Julia jumped a little, surprised by the sudden fluttering she felt low in her belly.

“Am I?” she asked with a grin, turning in the large square tub so she faced David. 

He found himself silently cursing the amount of suds the bubbles in the tub had multiplied into, covering both of their naked bodies.Trying to push some of them aside, he groaned as a new group of bubbles gathered, covering Julia again, who was giggling at his frustration. 

“Something wrong, Sargent Budd?” She asked with a knowing smirk as she straddled his lap, thankful for the size of the tub in the penthouse bathroom suite.

“Nothing we can’t fix very quickly,” David said with a smirk, pulling her flush against his thighs as Julia burst into a fit of giggles. 

Giggles that soon faded as Julia began to move her hips slowly and steady against him, the water sloshing around them in the tub. 

Her eyes met David’s, only breaking contact when she caught his gaze dipping under the water at her naked body as his hands firmly grasped her hips. 

Julia let out a dreamy sigh as she rubbed herself against him, feeling him harden beneath her body as she placed her palms on his shoulder to brace herself as she slid up and down in his lap. 

His hands began to wander beneath the water, coming to stroke her backside as David let out a groan that echoed in the bathroom. Feeling his large, calloused hands on her body, she could have sworn the temperature in the room had gone up at least 10 degrees. 

Pressing her bare chest against his, Julia gave David a naughty smile. Huffing at the sight of her sensuously gliding across his lap, David cursed under his breath. 

“Fuck, Julia.”

Her grin only widening at his words, Julia smirked. 

“Mmmm?” She asked, arching a brow as she took in the details of his face. The way his eyes were closed and his head leaned back against the edge of the tub. 

She shivered slightly, a combination of both desire and the bath water beginning to go tepid and cool around them. 

“I want you,” David murmured, leaning forward to kiss the spot on her neck that he knew made her melt. He sighed as Julia whimpered in his lap. “We have to get out of this tub,” he said lowly. His lips returning to her neck. 

“Mmmmhmmm,” Julia agreed, but made no motion to move as she leaned forward and nibbled at David’s mouth, biting a little harder as she took his bottom lip in between hers. 

Realizing that he was going to have to make the first move to get them out of the tub, David reached around her, pulling the stopper out from the drain. Julia sighed as the water began to recede and she felt the full effect of him, slick and hard beneath her. 

David lifted her from his lap as he stood, emerging from the tub and offering his hand to her. Julia frowned at the loss of contact between their bodies and was grateful for his warm hand in hers as she stepped from the tub, her body trembling at the sudden change in temperature. 

Eyeing her naked body and letting his gaze roam over her curves for a moment as he stood back looking at her, David didn’t hesitate in pulling her body flush to his so that her full breasts were pressed against his chest. 

Reaching behind her, he grabbed a large fluffy towel from the counter, beginning to dry Julia off. Pressing the towel against her skin, David grinned as he dropped to his knees, kissing each spot where he dried the water from her skin. 

Starting at her knees and working his way up, he came dangerously close to where Julia needed him most, hearing her gasp as he teased her thighs with his lips. 

Julia grabbed on to his shoulders as he stood at his full height again, concentrating on her upper body and paying special attention to her chest as he dried her, his thumbs tweaking her breasts as she felt her knees go weak. 

Taking the towel from his hands, Julia began to return the favor, running the towel slowly over his muscled form. Finally growing impatient with how slowly she was working him over, David hoisted Julia up in his arms, biting his lip as he felt her thread her long legs around his waist. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath again, feeling her hand sneak between their bodies and grasping him fully in her hand. She gave him a few gentle pumps, looking between them with a mischievous grin, watching the way he reacted to her, his eyes automatically closing. 

David’s plan had been to carry her to the bedroom, but with her latest ministrations, he wasn’t sure he could wait that long. Taking a few definitive steps toward their suite, he gasped as Julia gripped him with a bit more pressure, her thumb coming to brush against the tip of him in a measured stroke. Abandoning the idea of getting to the bed, he turned, his gaze taking in the living room. 

“Having trouble making up your mind, Sargeant?” She asked sweetly, grinning at the indecision her actions were causing in him. 

“You trying to kill me?” he asked, his voice low as his breathing grew heavier. 

Julia shook her head solemnly. 

“Now what fun would that be?” She asked with a smirk, her serious tone fading. 

His eyes finally settling on the oversized chair next to the couch, David unceremoniously sank down onto it, landing with a thud as Julia straddled him. She was poised and ready on his lap and David leaned forward, placing a hot kiss against her mouth. 

Julia tilted her head to deepen the kiss, as David’s tongue begged for entrance to her mouth. Whimpering as she parted her lips, allowing his tongue to find hers, she simultaneously lowered herself onto his shaft. 

Julia cried out against his mouth as he filled her and she began to ride him with abandon. Bringing her hands to the armrests of the chair, she braced herself as David met her thrust for thrust. 

Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room as David broke the kiss and leaned forward, placing open mouthed kisses all over her neck and shoulders. Biting down lightly on her shoulder, he began to suck on her skin there as his hand came between their bodies, rubbing Julia in slow circles as his thumb brushed against her sensitive bundle of nerves. 

Between the pressure of his fingers and the way she was riding him with all she had, Julia felt herself hurtling toward the edge of orgasm. She began to pant as she slid up and down in his lap and David clutched at her hip, digging in hard with the tips of his fingers. 

“Just like that, David,” Julia encouraged, both moaning as David felt Julia’s walls begin to tighten around him. Feeling his hand migrate from her hip to her breast, circling one rosy peak with the tip of his thumb was enough to push Julia over the edge. She slammed her eyes shut, arching her back and leaning backward as she felt the trembling begin in her body. David continued to thrust into her, looking up at her, his eyes dark with desire as he came, releasing himself inside her. 

After it was over, Julia fell onto his lap, her body sated and weak from their lovemaking. She smiled against his shoulder as her head rested there and she worked to catch her breath. David brought both his arms to wrap around her naked upper body, his fingertips running up and down her back as he held her tight to his chest, still sheathed inside her.

They had both been still for a while when Julia finally spoke, breaking the silence of the room. 

“That… was worth a few front page headlines, I think,” she said with a grin as he slipped from her body, breaking their intense physical connection. 

David chuckled. 

“Perhaps we should keep this headline to ourselves?” He suggested as they both began to laugh. 

Julia gingerly got to her feet, steadying herself against the chair. When she was sure her legs could function properly, she padded into the bathroom, grabbing the two fuzzy bathrobes off the back of the door. 

“I need to make some calls,” she said, peeking her head back out the door and going over to hand David a robe, as well.

David nodded, slipping his arms through the sleeves, grateful for the warmth. 

“Aye. You do that. I’ll get dressed and go make some arrangements myself.”

Julia grinned. 

“I’ll be waiting for you when you get back,” she told him, leaning over the back of the chair and kissing him lightly. 

“Really, Julia? You’re sleeping with the hired help?” Her ex-husband’s voice always grated on her nerves, but today it seemed worse than usual. 

Julia rubbed at her temples, closing her eyes as she leaned against the window overlooking the city centre. 

“That’s really none of your business, Roger,” she said lowly, gritting her teeth as the man began to laugh harshly on the other end of the line. 

“It became my business the minute you showed up in photos online, making googly eyes at that  _ plod _ ,” he retorted bitterly. Julia was suddenly seeing red. 

“Don’t you dare talk about him like that,” she warned, dropping her voice. 

“I’m the Chief Whip. I can say whatever I want to you, _ darling _ ,” He snarled and Julia rolled her eyes, looking out at the city. She was grateful David had gone downstairs to make arrangements for their lunch. 

“Don’t fucking test me, Roger,” she said, her voice dropping even lower. “You may be the Chief Whip now, but you won’t be in power for much longer.”

Roger scoffed on the other end of the line. 

“So, you’re admitting it then,” he said curtly. “You  _ are _ making a run for Number Ten. I’m sure Vosler will be surprised to hear that you’ve openly confessed to it. You’ll never make it, Julia. Especially not now with all the headlines about your new toy boy. You’ll be on the front page of every paper for weeks. First with the buzz you’re fucking him, then again when it doesn’t last. Which it won’t. He’ll leave you before the paper is even off the press.” 

Julia sighed heavily. 

“I don’t care that you’re jealous that I’m dating David, Roger,” she said sharply. “I  _ really _ don’t. Throw your temper tantrum on your own time. I’m turning my phone off for the rest of the week. If you need to reach someone, call the Home Office. Mike Travis is acting Home Secretary until I return.”

She hung up before Roger could reply and hung her head, huffing in frustration. 

“It went that well, aye?” A voice asked from the doorway and Julia jumped in surprise, turning to face David. She hadn’t heard him enter the suite again.

She frowned. 

“Roger is being Roger,” she said by way of explanation. David chuckled. 

“So he’s being a certified arsehole, then,” David said, and Julia began to laugh, suddenly feeling much better. 

“That’s about it, I suppose,” she said, stepping into his outstretched arms. “Did you get everything arranged for our lunch?” she asked and she heard David sigh. 

Stepping back, she looked at him. 

“What is it?” She asked uncertainly. “Are Vicky and the children alright?” 

She knew David was worried about the press hounding her at work and at home, and suddenly wondered if they had made the right call about leaving town. 

“Oh, yeah,” He said, brushing off her nervousness. “They’re all fine. Vicky had a reporter show up at the hospital to speak to her, but security got rid of them pretty quickly. Tom and Kim are watching over Ella and Charlie at home,” he told her, and Julia breathed a sigh of relief. 

“But…” David began and Julia turned to look at him sharply. 

“But?” She repeated uncertainly. 

“I think our picnic is going to have to wait,” he began. Julia frowned. 

“If this is some ruse to get me into bed instead of having our lunch … I’m starving!” She said, eyeing him suspiciously. David laughed. 

“No, it’s not that… although, I’m not opposed to that idea,” he murmured, taking a step closer to her and arching a brow as he looked her over in her bathrobe. 

“David…” She warned and he chuckled. 

“No, no, it’s not that,” he assured her. “It’s just …” He paused, frowning. “The lobby is swarming with photographers. I don’t think we’re going to be able to make it out of here without being followed.” He told her, frowning. 

Julia sighed. 

“Are we really  _ that  _ interesting?” she asked in confusion, stepping away from him and turning to look out the window again. 

“Well, I would say we’ve caused quite a scandal, Home Secretary,” he said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “And just wait until they find out we knew each other before! The vultures will really come for us then,” he murmured, leaning forward and kissing her temple. 

Julia sighed. 

“Let’s let them figure that out on their own,” she suggested. “It may buy us some time, too.”

David nodded in agreement. 

“So, the picnic is out,” he said glumly. “But, I stopped by the restaurant downstairs, Bird Something...” he mumbled. 

“Bo and Birdy,” Julia corrected and he shrugged. 

“Yeah, sure. Well, whatever the name is, I stopped and picked up a few to-go containers,” he said stepping back proudly. “And I thought we could have a picnic in the privacy of our own hotel suite.”

Julia turned to look at him in surprise. 

“I’ve already got it all set up in the living room, food… blanket… expensive wine…”

She felt herself melting a bit at the considerate gesture. 

“David Budd,” she said softly, stepping forward and grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket. “You are the most wonderful man I have ever met,” she whispered, pulling him in for a kiss. 

He grinned as he pulled away after a moment, leaving them both breathless. 

“And then … over lunch, I think I have an idea how to lose the reporters,” he said matter of factly, taking her hand and leading her into the living room.

“You’re brilliant,” Julia said proudly, looking over at David as he drove them north along a winding road through Trossachs National Park. “Absolutely brilliant.”

David grinned. 

“Does this qualify as kidnapping Britain’s Home Secretary?” he asked thoughtfully and Julia laughed. 

“Mmmm, it might,” she reasoned. “But I don’t think she’ll mind.” 

David looked down at the clock on the dash. 

“You might as well get comfortable,” he said. “We’ve got about three hours until we reach our destination,” he told her, matter-of-factly. Glancing over, he watched as she kicked her heels off and curled up into the front seat, leaning her head against the headrest so she was looking over at him. 

“Where are you taking me anyway?” she asked with a smirk. 

“Plockton. It’s a small fishing village just outside the Isle of Skye,” he told her. “It’s small. Maybe 300 people live there. But I’ve got a friend who secured us a cottage. Even the owner doesn’t know who’s really coming to stay.” 

“The same friend who helped us make our escape tonight?” She asked and David nodded. 

“That’s the one,” he said.

“I do feel a bit like a spy,” she said with a giggle, settling back against the seat, letting her eyes drift closed.

_ David and Julia were in the car on the way to dinner, when he noticed her fidgeting with the sleeve of her sweater.  _

_ “You’re sure this is going to work?” she asked in a childlike tone, and David looked at her, reaching out and stroking her face gently with his thumb.  _

_ “No, I’m not sure it will,” he replied honestly. “Though I think it’s worth a try, don’t you?” He asked and Julia nodded, beginning to fidget again.  _

_ “I never imagined it turning out like this,” she admitted, looking over at David. Most men probably would have run away screaming from the chaos of it all. “Thank you for staying,” she whispered and David softened.  _

_ “Of course I did, Julia,” he reassured her. “I’m not going anywhere … except North of here. Tonight. With you,” he teased, breaking the sappy moment and making her laugh.  _

_ “So, I’ve already had my friend, Scott, call to tip off the media that we’ll be here tonight,” David told her, turning his attention back to the road. “They should be there when we pull up. We’ll go inside. Have dinner, and have the car brought around, while they’re all waiting for us to come out the front, we’ll slip out the back to a rental car Scott got us, and we’ll take off. By the time they realize we’re gone, no one will have a clue where we are.” _

_ Sure enough, just as promised, the flashbulbs began to go off as soon as David pulled in at the French bistro they had chosen for dinner. As they exited the car, handing the keys over to the attendant, reporters called out to David and Julia to try to get them to look at them for a photo.  _

_ Instead, David wrapped his arm around Julia’s shoulders, sheltering her from the cameras as they rushed inside. _

_ Throughout dinner, David kept an eye on his watch, regarding the time closely with when they should be leaving. Reaching across the table, Julia took his hand in her own and squeezed it reassuringly.  _

_ “Thank you,” she mouthed, never actually saying the words aloud as she finished her meal. After paying their bill, David handed the keys to the attendant, asking for the car to be brought around. Just as they had planned. _

_ “Aye, let’s go!” He said under his breath, getting to his feet and taking Julia by her hand as they shuffled into the busy kitchen and down through a service entrance. He thought he might have seen the chef do a double-take when he saw them, but they were gone before he could say anything.  _

_ Stepping out the door in front of Julia, he looked around, grateful to see a car already running parked by the entrance to the kitchen. He motioned to it, jerking his head over his shoulder. As he moved to open Julia’s door for her, and closing it behind her, he had to admit he was enjoying secretly whisking her away like this.  _

_ Climbing into the car, he grinned.  _

_ “Let’s get on the road. Before someone sees us.” _

Julia looked up at the sky, amazed at the number of stars she could see dotting the indigo sky. They were never this visible in London. She could see her breath puff out in front of her in the night air.

“What do you think your parents would say if you brought me home?” She asked curiously before she could stop herself. 

David stopped walking, turning to look at her in surprise. They were overlooking the cliffs of the Scottish Highlands, their car parked a short distance down the path. The wind was cold as it whipped at their faces and David stepped closer to Julia, reaching out and bracing his hands against her shoulders as she shivered.

“Julia Montague, are you insinuating that you want to meet my parents?” David’s brow furrowed. “I have to admit I’m a bit surprised…” 

“That is  _ not _ what I said, David,” she protested quickly. “I just figured … they’ve probably seen the headlines by now. And we’re here… Surely they must be curious about us being together again.”

They both let their gaze fall to the tiny fishing village far below them. There were a few lights on in the town as it drew closer to midnight, but everything was quiet as the sea lapped at the shore on the other side of the cliff. 

Julia had fallen asleep on the drive, and had woken up only as David touched her shoulder to let her know they were getting close. He told her that he wanted to take her somewhere before they went to the cottage and she sleepily agreed. She would go anywhere with him. 

“Dad will be livid I’ve brought a Tory home. Mum … will be less surprised,” David hesitated for a moment after breaking the silence. “I venture she always knew how I really felt about you.” 

“David,” Julia said gently, sucking in a breath of surprise. She shivered again and David shed his jacket, moving forward and placing it around her shoulders. She wanted to tell him not to be daft, to put the jacket back on. It was freezing outside. But she knew he never would. 

“No. I mean it,” he responded, taking a step back and looking at her, blue meeting green in the moonlight. “You were always the one that got away … until you weren’t.” 

He groaned at his own words. “Ugh. That sounded terrible. I’m sorry. It sounded so much better in my head.”

Julia smiled shyly, shaking her head slightly. 

“It sounded wonderful,” she argued. “And I know exactly what you meant.” 

“All those years ago, I really thought I had left you behind me,” David admitted. “I tried to wipe away all traces of the past. But then I got assigned to you … and from the moment I saw you again, I knew. It was always you.” 

Julia felt butterflies in her stomach at his words. 

“David? What are you —” She began, before he interrupted.

“I have something I want to tell you. I’ve been waiting for the right time. But now seems as good a time as any…” He began, turning out to look at the village one more time before he turned his attention back to her.

“Go on…” she encouraged, tilting her head slightly to look at him with narrowed eyes.

“I’ve filed for divorce.” His words came in a rush and he stumbled over them a bit. “Vicky and I... are done. Officially.”

Julia felt her heart hammering in her chest. 

_ Oh. _

She couldn’t quite find the words to respond. She chewed at her lip, surprised by his confession. He had never let on that he and Vicky were going forward with their divorce. She had assumed it would happen eventually, but... for it to actually be official…. She felt her stomach flutter with those familiar butterflies as she let herself dream of the future. Of their future. And what that could look like.

“I’ve known since the day I saw you outside the Home Office, Julia. I love you. I always have. More now than I did a decade ago if that’s even possible”. 

David’s voice was low, and Julia stepped in close to him, her cold fingers brushing against his jaw. He reached for her palm, rubbing it between his trying to warm her. Bringing her hand to his lips, he skimmed them across the skin of her knuckles, kissing them.

“I love you, too, David,” she murmured breathlessly. “I never thought I would find someone like you again. Someone that brought out the things in me that you did. And then you shook my hand outside of the home office, and it took me right back to that first handshake in a bar on a rainy night in London. It was as if no time had passed at all.” 

“So, do we give this another chance then?” David asked, wrapping his arms around her as she burrowed into his neck, bracing herself against the wind. “Are we giving us another chance?” 

David’s words were muffled, but unmistakable as he pressed his lips to her temple. 

“I’d say we’ve already started, wouldn’t you?” she asked, pulling back to look at him. He nodded wordlessly. “It’s not going to be easy,” she continued. “The media will be jerks. Roger will be insufferable… They’ll ask Vicky a lot of questions…” Julia trailed off. 

“I know. There are things we’ll have to take care of. But I want that. We’ll talk to Vicky. Roger will keep being a pain in the arse. But I want a future with you. I want you to meet my kids. To meet my parents. I want us to do it all… Are you prepared for that?” 

Julia’s answer was short, but in it, was all that David needed to hear.

“As long as I have you, I’m prepared for anything.” 


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “To the past … to the present … and to our future. I love you,” he whispered, his lips meeting hers again before they clinked their glasses together and each took a sip of champagne. 
> 
> “To the future … and to us," she replied. "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue. Set (about) 18 months after Chapter 11.
> 
> A lot has changed. But a lot has stayed the same, too.

Julia felt a strong, muscled arm snake around her waist and pull her backwards toward what she was almost sure was a cupboard under the stairs. She wasn’t exactly familiar with the layout of the manor home where the party was being hosted, but it seemed suspect that someone was suddenly pulling her into a closet.

Letting out a noise of surprise, she whirled around, coming face to face with a grinning David. Her heart was hammering fast in her chest, but she couldn’t help but laugh at the boyish smirk on display on his face, feeling the relief take over her body as she saw him standing there.

“David, you can’t just go around pulling me into cupboards under the stairs,” she chided, her tone teasing. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, I believe it’s a wine cellar,” he corrected matter-of-factly. “Very much a step up from a regular cupboard under the stairs.”

Looking around at the bottles of wine piled onto shelves in the room, she nodded as she leaned back against the door, taking in the details of the dimly lit storage space.

“Okay, that’s true. There is wine. But still,” she said, chuckling. “People might get the wrong idea, David.” 

David shrugged. 

“And what if they do? I just wanted a moment alone with you before the chaos of tonight took over,” David admitted, feeling a little sheepish at his own confession. 

Saying the last year had been chaotic was an understatement. Between grappling with the media about their relationship, and Julia gearing up for the run for Prime Minister, they had only had a little down time as they moved from event to event, touring the country to gather supporters during her campaign. David was grateful that the end was in sight… Well, at least one end. He had a feeling the real journey was just beginning. 

The corner of Julia’s lip tugged up at the corner as she took in his sudden embarrassment. Though she would never consider herself a sappy person, dating a charming romantic like David certainly made her rethink that. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, clasping her hands behind his head and running her nails through the short hair at the nape of his neck.

“And I love you for that,” she said with a smile, leaning forward so her lips met his. They kissed gently at first, their passion deepening as David’s hands began to roam, one resting on Julia’s hip, the other grabbing her ass possessively. 

She moaned against his mouth as his tongue slipped out to jostle lightly with hers. She groaned as she reluctantly pulled away, stepping out of his grasp. 

“I really should get back out there,” she murmured, her forehead coming to rest against his. “They’ll be announcing the official results any time now…” she reminded him, glancing at her watch. 

“I thought the Prime Minister was allowed to do whatever she wanted?” David asked, his brow furrowing as both his hands came to rest on Julia’s waist. 

“Well, I’m not Prime Minister yet, David,” she reminded him and he shrugged. 

“We know you’re going to be though,” he said proudly. “I’m currently standing in a cupboard with Prime Minister Julia Montague…”

“I thought it was a wine cellar?” she asked teasingly and David chuckled, grimacing dramatically as she threw his own words back at him.

“And, I told you..., it’s going to be Prime Minister Julia Montague-Budd, remember?” She asked, holding up her left hand where a single diamond on a gold band caught the light, sparkling against the glass of the bottles in the small room.

David’s eyes fell to the ring and then back at her face. He had never been happier than the day he was able to put that diamond on her finger.

The ring had belonged to David’s grandmother. It was the same ring he had given her when he proposed during a trip to the Swiss Alps on a family getaway weekend with Ella and Charlie in the spring. It had been one of the rare instances that they had been able to get away for more than a day or two, and they were making the most of the trip, hitting the slopes every day and spending their nights cuddled by the fire, both with and without the children. 

_ “Finally,” Julia said with a sigh as she entered the den, her eyes settling on David who was leaned back on the couch, his eyes closed. “Charlie wouldn’t stop talking about the skiing slope he went down on his own today,” she said chuckling.  _

_ “He’s very proud of himself,” she added. _

_ Looking up as she entered the room, David smiled at her. They had been in Switzerland for five days now, and had only a few more days before they returned home to London for Julia to focus on her campaign for Prime Minister.  _

_ Early on in the trip, Ella and Charlie had insisted that Julia be the one to tuck them in at night, much to David’s surprise. The children had taken to her very quickly after they returned from Scotland, and spent time alternating between staying with Vicky and her new beau, and staying with David and Julia at her flat in Battersea.  _

_ Well, their flat. David was still getting used to calling it that. He had moved in only a few weeks before the trip to Switzerland. _

_ He chuckled at Julia’s obvious wonder at Charlie’s excitement.  _

_ “He would talk to you all day if you would listen,” he said with a grin. “He’s crazy about you… Ella, too.”  _

_ Julia felt the tears begin to prick at her eyes at David’s words.  _

_ “I would listen to him all day,” she said matter-of-factly, plopping down on the couch beside David so that their thighs were touching. It was amazing how quickly she had settled into the feeling of her body being in contact with him all the time again. Whether it was hand holding, or his hand on her knee as he drove through the snowy hills toward their chalet for the week... It always made her feel safe. And wanted.  _

_ “And I’m crazy about them,” she added softly, her hand interlacing with David’s as she felt the flames from the fireplace warm her. “I’m crazy about their father, too,” she whispered, looking over at him and smiling.  _

_ Leaning forward, David kissed her. His hand came to tangle in her hair, and Julia sucked in a breath as he gently nibbled on her bottom lip. In return, Julia licked his top lip with the tip of her tongue, her hands coming to rest on his strong shoulders as he tightened his grip around her body. Pulling away only to catch their breath a few minutes later, Julia finally took in their surroundings, her eyes widening at the chaos she hadn’t noticed before. _

_ The table in front of the fire was littered with supplies from their earlier foray into s’more making. When David had returned from Coop with the supplies for what he had coined as ‘the delicacy of the evening,” Julia had sensed trouble. There was no way you could give two children that much sugar and expect anything other than a complete sugar rush followed by an imminent crash.  _

_ She had been right, too.  _

_ Taking in the broken cookie pieces and crumbs from the Speculoos, she frowned. She had never been an overly neat person … but there was certainly an adjustment having two young children in her life now. The chocolate that had accompanied the cookie and marshmallow concoctions was long gone, with Charlie and Ella claiming it was the best chocolate they had ever had.  _

_ Looking over at David, and then back at the bag of marshmallows sitting by the fire, she tried to resist the temptation of the sugary, sweet treat. She had never been one for overly sweet things until the Little Budds came into her life either.  _

_ “Have you had a good day?” David asked, his arm wrapping around her shoulders as she leaned into him on the couch, forgetting the calling of the dessert for the time being.  _

_ “Mmmm,” she said with a smile, relaxing into his embrace. “It’s been a great day,” she answered with a smile, leaning forward and kissing him more gently this time.  _

_ “A great week?” He asked as he interlaced his fingers in hers, running them up and down gently against her own.  _

_ “A great week,” she echoed in agreement, closing her eyes.  _

_ “I saw you eyeing that bag of marshmallows, Julia,” David said, his voice lowering conspiratorially. She chuckled in return.  _

_ “Did you?” She asked coyly, cracking one eye open to look at him. _

_ “Why don’t you get us a handful of them?” he suggested, nudging her shoulder with his own. “We can feed each other or something silly like that,” he said with a grin.  _

_ Julia laughed.  _

_ “How romantic. We’ll give each other diabetes with a few more of these,” she teased. _

_ Getting to her feet, she turned her back to David and walked to the fireplace, reaching for the bag that was off to the side of the hearth. She grabbed a handful of marshmallows, taking her time and being careful to pick out just the white ones. She would save the strawberry flavored ones for the children. They seemed to like those. _

_ “I don’t want to eat any of the strawberry ones because Ella and Charlie --” she stopped as she turned around, trailing off as she found David crouched in front of the couch on one knee. In his hand was a black square box. He waited until her eyes were on him before he popped the lid open, revealing a thin intertwined gold band with a single diamond sitting right in the middle, shining bright by the light of the fire.  _

_ “David…” Julia breathed, dropping the marshmallows that she had been so careful to pick out only a minute before. “What are you doing?”  _

_ David smirked as he watched the puffed dessert hit the floor before he looked up at Julia again.  _

_ “I thought that was fairly obvious, ma’am…” he said, grinning at the awestruck look on her face. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen her so surprised.  _

_ “David, I --”  _

_ “I  _ do _ have some things I’d like to say,” he said matter-of- factly, and Julia nodded, suddenly finding it difficult to string words together into a sentence. _

_ “Yes?” she asked breathlessly, walking back over to him and kneeling so she was at eye level with him.  _

_ “If you would have told me when I started this job, that this is where we would be all these months later … I never would have believed you,” David said, shaking his head. “I never saw this coming. _

_ Julia nodded emphatically in agreement. _

_ “Neither did I.” _

_ David gave Julia a warning look and she chuckled, before making a motion like she was zipping her lips.  _

_ “I know I’ve told you before, but when I was assigned to you … I was fully prepared to not even be able to look at you,” he confessed and Julia nodded wordlessly. “In preparing for my job and doing my research, I wanted to not be able to stand you... I thought we would go right back to all the differences we had and the fight that ended it all... But then I saw you…. And that all faded away.”  _

_ Reaching out to touch his face, Julia smiled, encouraging him to continue. She felt the sting of tears begin to pool in her eyes and she blinked them back quickly.  _

_ “I held onto my failing marriage for far too long because I was afraid of what life looked like without having that anymore. But in all my uncertainty ... and in all my fear ... I found you again. And we made our way back to each other again. It’s one of the single best things that has ever happened to me, Julia.”  _

_ “I’ve thought about this moment for a long time, and when it would be perfect. I went through all the big things in my head, and what I thought would be expected for someone proposing to the Home Secretary … or our soon-to-be Prime Minister. Dinner. Flowers. A grand trip somewhere exotic… but this … it just felt right. After spending the week with you, with the kids, with them loving you so much… Did I do alright?”  _

_ Julia wiped stubbornly at her eye, softening at his question.  _

_ “You know I don’t need the grand gestures, David. I never have,” she reminded him. “I don’t want shooting stars and storybook endings. All I need is your hand in mine... Your heart that makes me want to be better every day... And falling asleep and waking up, knowing that my heart is safe and taken care of. Forget everything else, all I need is you.”  _

_ David reached out, taking his hand in hers and placing it over his chest, clearly touched by her response.  _

_ “You have all of that,” he reassured her. “Every bit of it... So … is that a yes then?” He asked, his heart still thumping in his chest. Julia shoved him lightly, laughing.  _

_ “Yes, of course it is,” she whispered, her eyes going to the ring again as he pulled it from the box, placing it on her left hand.  _

_ Julia took a deep breath.  _

_ “David, it’s beautiful.”  _

_ “It was my gran’s,” he explained. “It seems right that you have it.”  _

_ “I love it. And I love you,” she said. _

_ “I love you, too,” he whispered.  _

_ Looking down at the sparkling diamond on her finger, Julia felt herself begin to tear up again. Placing a hand on each side of his face, she leaned forward, kissing him slowly.  _

_ Bringing his hands to her waist, he pulled her closer to him, his body pressed against hers as they kissed with the heat of the fire warming their backs.  _

_ “I picked up a bottle of champagne at Coop’s,” David confessed, his forehead pressed against her own. “I was cautiously optimistic you would say yes. I hid it in the fridge when you weren’t looking,” he said with a sly grin. “What do you say we pop it open and celebrate properly?” He asked with a waggle of his eyebrows and Julia chuckled.  _

_ “I’d say you have yourself a deal, Mr. Budd,” she replied, leaning forward and kissing him again before he helped her to her feet.  _

_ “Alright, Mrs. Budd.”  _

_ They both stopped at the name that had slipped so easily from his lips and Julia looked at him with wide eyes.  _

_ “That’s going to take some getting used to,” she said laughing and David chuckled.  _

_ “I don’t care what name you go by... as long as I get to call you my wife. Now, race you to the kitchen!”  _

_ He was running before the words were even fully out of his mouth and Julia shook her head at his childlike behavior. He made her feel like a big kid every day. And that was something she had never realized she needed until he reappeared in her life.  _

_ “David, be quiet! The kids are sleeping!” she called out after him, her voice low as she ran toward the kitchen when she heard the pop of a champagne bottle.  _

_ This was her life now. And she had never been happier.  _

“How could I forget?” David asked, turning her so her back was pressed against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, nuzzling her neck lightly. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Just two more weeks,” she reminded him, leaning her head back against his shoulder in relaxation. She had to admit it was nice to be here, cuddled up with her fiance in the wine cellar, rather than out there watching poll numbers come in. It was infinitely less stressful, she knew that for sure. 

“Aye, two weeks,” David repeated, his lips coming to kiss her neck. 

Julia was about to say something else when the door opened, casting a bright light into the tiny space. David and Julia jumped apart, unsure who had found them in this rather suggestive hiding place. 

Ella Budd groaned. 

“Really, guys? A cupboard?” She asked with a sigh, her brow arching in question, a trait she had surely picked up from her soon-to-be stepmother.

Julia turned to look at David, flooded with relief that it was only Ella who had found them, but also slightly mortified by the same sentiment. 

“Ha!” Julia cried out triumphantly. “I told you it was a cupboard under the stairs.”

David groaned. 

“I suppose I’m outnumbered, aye?” He asked, eyeing his fiance and then his daughter.

Ella looked between the two of them, suspiciously. 

“I don’t want to know why you’re in here… But you should get out before someone sees you,” she warned, rolling her eyes slightly and shutting the door again.

Julia and David looked at each other and burst into laughter. 

“Are you sure we’re going to survive her teenage years, David?” Julia asked, only half-joking. And David shook his head. 

“From what I hear, 13 is really just the beginning,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “It only gets worse from here.” 

“She’s right though,” Julia finally said. “We really should get out of here.”

She looked around the cupboard one more time, then grinned, leaning forward and kissing him. 

“Thank you for the distraction,” she said, matter-of-factly, straightening her clothes from the slight disarray their canoodling in the closet had caused.

“I look forward to the encore performance tonight, Prime Minister,” David said under his breath as he watched Julia wink at him before scooting out of the closet. Beginning to count to 100 until he made his exit, he couldn’t help but smile. 

He wasn’t sure how they had gotten here. But he sure was glad they did. 

As he slipped from the closet and back into the crowded room, he met Ella’s eyes from across the room and frowned as she rolled her eyes before disappearing into the crowd again. Yes, he was certainly the father of a teenage girl now. Noticing Charlie in the crowd, his frown broke into a grin as his son waved at him enthusiastically, stuffing another cheese biscuit into his mouth from a tray that was being carried around the room. David couldn’t help but laugh. 

Being a father had certainly been one of the biggest adventures of his life, but he had a feeling the adventures were only really just beginning. 

Taking two glasses of champagne from a passing tray, David’s grin widened as the room broke out into a chorus of cheers as the final numbers began to roll across the screen. 

**Julia Montague elected Prime Minister,** the headline read. 

David’s eyes searched the room for his fiance and he beamed proudly as her eyes settled on him at the same time. Flashing a bright smile at him in return, David pushed his way toward her through the crowd of people congratulating Julia. As he came to stand in front of her, she shook her head in disbelief. 

“We did it!” She said excitedly, leaning forward and kissing David passionately, her arms wrapping around his broad shoulders and pulling him into her. 

The room erupted into another chorus of shouts and cheering, all eyes on them. It had taken them a long time to get here, and the road wasn’t an easy one to navigate, but all that mattered was they were here. Together. He grinned as he pulled away. 

“No, _you_ did it, love,” he corrected, handing her a glass of champagne. 

“To … Prime Minister Julia Montague-Budd…” he said loudly, holding his flute up to hers. Then lowering his voice, he leaned forward so that he was speaking just to her. “To the past … to the present … and to our future. I love you,” he whispered, his lips meeting hers again before they clinked their glasses together and each took a sip of champagne. 

“To the future … and to us," she replied. "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, friends... That's it for Left Behind. I wasn't sure I could pull off the idea when it first came to me, but I have to say, I have really enjoyed crafting this AU world for David and Julia. And I cannot say thank you enough for reading and for your sweet comments plus the encouragement along the way. They really did keep me going at times. 
> 
> A special THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU goes out to my girls Linn, Candi and Laura. For chatting fic and brainstorming ideas, for giving me all the feels, for all of your amazing feedback and for what you each mean to me. I'm so glad to know y'all. 
> 
> It feels a bit bittersweet to be done, but also aptly appropriate considering that today marks one year since I watched Bodyguard for the first time. And I still can't shut up about these two. So, stay tuned. There is more writing coming. 
> 
> Xoxo.


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